In my pursuit of natural birth and raising natural kids, bathing is something we haven’t routinely enforced as newborn and infant. I wipe my baby’s bottom and I clean up spit up off her chin, but really… I never bathe my baby. And this is not even a second-child syndrome type of thing; I have never been one to give my kids baths when they’re so young. It may seem absurd to what seems to be such a clean-freak culture, but let’s be honest. Babies don’t get dirty. And let’s be really honest. I could get high from the smell of a newborn and I never want to wash that away.
So I am on my second kid and bathing is something that’s not a really high priority. So like the saying “if it’s not broken, don’t fix it”, I believe “if they don’t stink, don’t bathe them”. Plain and simple.
My first born had her first bath at 8 week and it was just a rinse with water only. It was a warm bath for her to enjoy and she had started to stink just a little. With my second, her first bath was at nine weeks, but was the same… just warm water in the sink. My 2.5 year old gets a bath when she gets dirty (so sometimes even twice a day), when she needs a calm down time, when she wants to play, or if none of the above… about once a week. And even so, they are both clean, smell fine, and function normally.
Still not on board with ditching routine baby baths?
Let’s look at some research.
- Research from the Frontiers in Psychology even confirmed that the newborn smell directly played into the pleasure center of the mother’s brain. And it definitely does. I could sit around sniffing my babies heads all day long and it would have kept any level of PPD away forever. (Even at 4 months old, my youngest smells like heaven to me).
- Babies shouldn’t be bathed immediately after birth because the vernix (that white stuff they’re gooped in) can help create and imprint a bond between mom and baby AND it helps them regulate their temperature.
- Bathing a baby every day can dry out their skin. Our bodies are beautifully made in that we create our own oils to help replenish our skin, but if we’re washing that away, we’re taking away that mechanism to some extent. Just think about when you wash your hands too much… same thing.
- I do not want to expose my child to chemicals. Phthalates, Parabens, fragrances, triclosan, and more are in every day soaps, shampoos, lotions, and everything we use. They’re in so many personal hygiene products and can have hormone-like effects on even adult bodies. Even when you choose safer baby soaps, they’re typically still not “best” so I choose to avoid as much as possible. (So back to the previous point… not bathing and not drying out skin means no need for lotions).
- My kids have the strongest immune systems around. My oldest has been sick twice in her two and a half years of life. Seriously. So let’s take a look at triclosan from the previous point. It is in many soaps because it is the anti-bacterial. The problem with this is that is inhibits and kills even the body’s natural, good flora and continuously kills all germs. While this might sound great and awesome, it also weakens the immune system over time since it’s not allowing the body to be exposed to either good or bad bacteria and our bodies therefore, lose the ability to fight germs. (Furthermore, if antibiotics or drugs are needed, there is research indicating that antibacterial soaps, antibiotic overuse, and our obsession with clean is one of the reasons for superbugs and antibiotic resistance, but that’s a different story that goes beyond the bathtub).
We have definitely filled the tub with warm water to let our older child both play and relax on days when she has had a lot of energy or has desired to play in water, but that is more play time for her than a bath because she does get wiped off and no soap is ever involved and it is on a very inconsistent basis.
Moral of the story is that I bathe my kids when they need them and when they start to stink. But as far as daily or regular washing times, I ditched that idea. We only start routine baths and showers when they’re older and actually need them.
So do what works for your family!
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Kara is an author and advocate for positive, grace-filled parenting. She is homeschooler to her 5 children living on a farm in New England. She believes in creative educational approaches to help kids dive deeper into a rich learning experience and has her degree in Secondary Education & Adolescent Childhood Development. She is passionate about connecting with and helping other parents on their journey to raise awesome kids!
Jenn
Interesting. I’ve always bathed my kids (homemade soap). Their baby scent is, after all, their scent. It doesn’t just go away. I bathe every day, therefore my babies bathed with me every day. They never needed lotions and never were ill. I’m an all natural, hippy mama, too. Being natural, I realize humans are creatures of habit. Cleanliness is a good habit. It’s hard enough to get a tween who has HAD the habit of bathing to bathe. I can’t imagine trying to make them understand why, after 12 years of not bathing, it’s suddenly important to clean their pits and bottoms.
Kara Carrero
My children absolutely still see me get in the shower more regularly than they do and we always discuss why baths and showers take place. I believe that children are great imitators and are molded by their experiences and what they see. So I want to model this for them. They know I don’t shower every single day, but that I do when I say “man, my hair is starting to look dirty” or something of the sort. I think it’s important for them to know the reasons behind why we do something rather than just doing it as part of a routine. And if it’s required daily, that’s great too!! So yes, cleanliness is a GREAT habit and we definitely clean ourselves when dirty.
Clancy Nicole Harrison
I love this! My children are now older and only take a couple baths a week (if that). I think they are healthier for it.
Kara Carrero
They probably are! I really think that is one of the factors in my daughter’s health. I think it’s easier to teach our children about what it means to be clean and healthy too when it’s not just habit and routine, but a matter of accomplishing the task of taking a bath to clean themselves when needed.
jessica
This explains why my daughter who’s almost one has only ever been sick once, and only with an unavoidable gastro virus. We have only ever bathed her once a week if that, because if she wasn’t dirty I didn’t see the point. And when we do, she just hops in the shower with daddy and plays with some toys and comes out clean and fresh. We only use a natural baby shampoo if she gets food in her hair. I thought I was the only one who did this.
Kara Carrero
I definitely think being overly clean is a contributing factor to sickness and superbugs in today’s world. While I am sure there are lots of other factors, I think there is something to be said for letting our immune systems do their jobs! I think the majority of true cleansing baths my toddler has had have been in the shower with one of us. <3
Betsy M
Glad to hear I’m not the only one. I grew up not bathing everyday and I’ve continued that with my kids. We usually do once a week bathes for them or more often when needed. My oldest has always had a great immune system. My youngest hasn’t been so lucky. It seems like each one child is following in each parent’s footprint so it’s more than just how often we bathe them.
Kara Carrero
I most definitely agree that it absolutely depends on the person and I don’t attribute my own’s immune system solely to not bathing every day. I just think it is one of many factors that is a good contribution in helping her body fight the pesky bugs and maintain good skin flora.
China E
Thank you for sharing this! I have never bathed my little one everyday. I normally do not shower everyday either. Unless needed. My lo is now 4 and spends most of her days playing in dirt, but even with that, i still do not bathe her every day. I will put her in the tub, wipe her down, and rinse her body. My mom “always gave us a bath every night”. My skin is horrible now.. I have recently started using baking soda to wash and shampoo with, hoping my skin and hair will improve!!
Kara Carrero
You are welcome! I grew up bathing and showering every other day or whenever I was truly dirty or my hair started to look that way. It’s not the norm to bathe every day in many societies and through the ages! It’s amazing how resilient our bodies are. I am sure yours will adapt and improve 🙂
Ethan
Although I really don’t think over-bathing is going to make anyone more likely to be sick, and honestly has nothing at all to do with superbugs and such(which are more attributed to over-usage of antibiotics), it can certainly cause our body to over-produce oils due to having to adjust to them being constantly washed away.
As a society we just happen to be obsessed with excessive showering, and there’s a stigma against not doing it daily, even if it’s not really necessary(unless you work a dirty job).
That being said, I haven’t seen that stigma applied to newborns so much…I thought most people did NOT give a daily bath to babies. How dirty can a tiny human who can neither crawl nor walk yet really get? The worst they do is spit up and poop….both of which you spot-clean.
Kara Carrero
It actually does have a lot to do with superbugs. I included links in the article, but here a few more from the FDA and third party researchers showing that antibacterial soaps are playing into the superbig epidemic. Since it can actually be difficult to find non-antibacterial soaps at times, it’s a legitimate concern that I have on overuse of soap containing triclosan and other antibacterial agents. http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ConsumerUpdates/ucm378393.htm
http://cid.oxfordjournals.org/content/45/Supplement_2/S137.long
I do agree though that my article is not talking about myself or my husband, it’s all about my baby. Babies don’t get dirty and the places that do are easily cleaned even without baths!
ambra
The fact is, most newborns love bathing! My 5 month baby takes 2 baths a week, since I agree that too many will make her skib dry, but she enjoys it so much!
Kara Carrero
That’s great that you get to enjoy doing that for her if she loves it so much! 😀
Gayle
Thank you so much for writing this post. I have always only bathed my children when they were truly dirty/stinky. I have never had the confidence to tell people and was mortified when my 7 y old came home and said they had done a school project and she had to tick “occasionally” for bath or shower. I felt the teachers were judging me as a parent.
My children have great immune systems thanks to me letting them get down, get dirty and taste things most parents would freak at. I am not a hippy or natural mum, or a lazy mum. I just have never understood the need to waste so much water unnecessarily.
Thank you again for being brave enough to voice what I am SURE a lot of mums do but won’t admit. It has made me feel better about myself, that maybe I’m not such a bad mum after all! xx
Kristen
Thank you so much for writing this! I bathe my kids once a week usually. Sometimes more if they need it. I had a friend express something unrelated to me about bathing kids only once a week was neglectful although he is going through a divorce and using that against his wife bc she only bathes them once a week. Since then I have wondered what other moms do bc I have felt like a bad mom bc of it. My husband has never said anything but I get in my head. My kids are clean and smell good. We clean them up and wipe them down between baths as needed. I am so grateful you wrote this and I saw it on fb. Thank you!!!
Kara Carrero
You are very welcome. Sometimes I worry about telling people that I encounter in reality about habits like this because people are so concerned about sanitizing vs. just cleaning. And we live in this weird world where someone could very well consider it neglect when in reality I keep my kids very healthy and am an attentive, loving parent. Like you said, my kids are clean and smell fine and of course I wouldn’t want them to stink or be dirty!!
Kristen
Right?! We wash our hands a lot with healthy soap (at least in our house) and my kids are healthy not greasy or gross. I am glad you were vulnerable and told us because it has given me relief from guilt and negative self talk on this issue. 🙂
Cayleigh
I loved this post. When my second child was born, the midwives asked if they could bathe him and I said not yet. (We had some serious bonding to do.) The nurses pestered me a bit more during the night and the next morning, but I was adamant that I didn’t want him bathed. He was too snuggly anyway. When we got home, I bathed him in warm water with no soap, and he hated it. He’s nearly a month old, and he hasn’t had a second one. He doesn’t have a reason yet!
My oldest is two and a half years old, and if he could live in the tub he would. I use bath times to calm him down and get him ready for bed. I don’t use soaps though, and my partner always asks why I don’t properly bathe him. Now I have an article to pass onto him!
Maria
My children are now older and only take a couple baths a week (if that). I think they are healthier for it.
Kara Carrero
That’s great! My oldest basically gets baths when her hair is untamable, she needs to relax, and of course when she’s dirty 🙂
Lady Lilith
This is an interesting point of view. Not sure I can be this extreeme, but it is something worth thinking about.
anna
My girl is 7 months old. First bath took place when she was 3 weeks old(I loved her smell sooo much!!). It was ok, newborns love water. After a month or so I tried to bathe her and she cried her lungs out, so we passed.
I really tried to bathe her at least once a month but seriously-with water wipes, why bother? I wipe her daily so many times I can lick her bum anytime. I wipe under chin, behind her ears, armpits and every place you can imagine. So far she’s had max 5 baths, 4 times very unpleasant experience-she suffered a lot and was unsettled for a while afterwards.
I don’t use any cosmetics, just organic baby barrier cream from Neal’s Yard Remedies and their baby balm when it is very windy so her skin wouldn’t dry out.
She has lovely skin, our oldest had baths every day and we had to use special stuff for skin conditions (oilatum). I don’t care what people think. It might be due to being vegan too as I have to constantly explain why I don’t eat animal products, had perfect pregnancy and my baby will be vegan too. Oh, and I don’t vaxx either. So a lot of explaining, a lot of fights but hey-my baby, my rules-stick your nose in your closet 😉
Love your blog btw xxx
MethodicAsh260
Thank you so much for this!!! I’m in countless mom groups on Facebook and of course the question “how often do you bathe your child” I always abstain from replying because I pretty much never bathe my child unless he really NEEDS it. I generally don’t notice any difference in cleanliness from the day after a bath vs. a week or more.
Steph
My daughters doctor actually told me not to bathe her more than once a week until she starts school. Then bathe her twice a week, or more if she needs it. I stuck to this and still do and she is now 3 and has yet to be sick. I have friends that bathe their kids every night and they are always getting sick.
Miranda
This article makes me feel normal! I bathe my 15 mo old daughter when I think she needs it , and during the winter who knows how often that is :-X I often sniff her hair and neck to make sure she doesn’t smell and it’s always scentless . i mentioned this to my friends and I could feel the judgement in the room. Thanks for the article !
Samantha
I always felt bad when I went a week or 2 weeks without bathing my babe. He is never dirty. He has never been sick and 9 mo old. He never has bad rashes and he never stinks! I love his smell! I’m so glad there’s other moms out there who believe in over bathing a child. Thank you so much for this!
Mel
Omg, thank you SO much for this post, I thought I was insane because I don’t bathe my child daily or even weekly! I’ve been beating myself up about this since he was born!
He’s absolutely healthy, never been sick and never had a skin problem or stench. I bathe him when I feel he’s dirty. But other than that I ditch it. But I feel terrible about it! Specially right now during the winter when he doesn’t even sweat. I question myself constantly! But thank you so much for this post. It puts my mind at ease!
Milly
Who’s that cute baby in the post!? Awe! And yes thanks for writing this. I googled the topic just to see if anyone would admit it. I was surprised to find this thorough, non anonymous post! I’m an intuitive person; it’s just how I roll. I’m a planner and a lister, but my gut takes the wheel. I bathe my baby when I get a cue that he needs a bath. Sometimes that’s twice a week, sometimes it’s not at all. I wipe him down well where he gets dirty. It’s winter right now though, so in the spring when we go outside more, he will be needing a bath more often. To me it’s just common sense. My older child got sick for the first time during his first week of school. LOL!
Adele
My baby is 2 months old and I have bathed her only 3 times. The rise of atopic dermatitis is very scary and I attribute it to over bathing. The skin of a newborn is so sensitive, and there is less water in the skin and children don’t produce enough oils. Washing them too much contributes to skin problems. Not even talking about the water quality. In some places the water has so much chlorine in it, taking a shower smells like you’re at the public pool. This also is very bad for the skin and health of the baby. I just wipe her with babywipes if needed. She still has vernix on her head, which I believe is good. The longer I can keep it on her the better.
AIMEE EVERSEN
Thanks so much for normalising this. My baby is 6 months today and has had maybe 6 baths so far. Everyone around me thinks I’m disgusting but she doesn’t smell and has immaculate skin. My eldest daughter (9yrs) doesn’t bathe every day and we all seem to be healthy. She didn’t even get a cold until she was over 2yrs and now as a household we hardly ever get sick. Not one of us has been ill this year, not even when everyone around us has been sick so we must be doing something right!
rachel
Adults need to bathe more for a few reasons, having more oils, more hair, and using more products are some of them.
Baby bottoms are wiped with soapy wet wipes, adult bottoms are not 🙂 I’d argue that a baby’s bottom is pretty darn clean.
How often did pioneers bathe?
My toddlers/babies are bathed as needed, just like I meet their other needs ‘on demand’. Sometimes its twice a week, sometimes its twice a month.
Once they are older and playing in the mud, then their bath needs will certainly increase.