Regardless of hair type, it seems like toddlers have the innate ability to matte their hair in 30 seconds or less. Oklahoma has crazy humidity and temperatures, so my daughter’s sweaty head in her car seat and curiosity to look in every direction automatically means a matted mess of hair when we get to our destination. This meant I had to come up with a natural, chemical-free way to detangle matted hair scented with all my favorite scents and various brands of essential oils.
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In two years of life, have never shampooed my daughter’s hair. Washed & rinsed? Yes. Shampooed? No.
This is both because of her curls, and because I believe in keeping her natural oils in charge.
I research products fairly thoroughly when they do get used in our home, and often use the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep database to help make healthier decisions regarding personal hygiene products.
The one soap that I have purchased for cleaning her hair & body is Episencial Playful Wash 
How to Make Homemade Conditioner & Detangler
You will need some basic supplies.
- 2oz Organic Apple Cider Vinegar
(ACV)
- 6oz Water
- A single drop of Soap/Shampoo of your choice
- 8oz Peri Bottle
- Essential Oil Scent of your choice to counteract the vinegar smell.
If you are working on detangling in the evening, be sure to see my tutorial on how to keep hair from tangling while wet overnight.
Removing Tangles as Gently as Possible
So now is the hard part… actually getting the tangles and matted mess out of those beautiful locks of hair.
You might want to get a Cutting and Tail Comb
- Squirt homemade conditioner in hair. Note: Vinegar can sting the eyes. If you need to, please do this over a sink to keep it out of the face.
- Use a comb (as mentioned above) to make downward motions in the hair starting at the bottom and working up.
- When you come to a tangle or place where it is matted you can squirt a little extra there before proceeding.
- Hold the hair right above the tangle and again move in a downward fashion. Holding the hair above the tangle is going to put any pressure needed to take out the tangles at that point and not on the head.
- Add a glob of coconut oil to the really bad parts.
- Continue to do this until hair is separated and beautiful! (Picture at the bottom of the post showing the next day when dry).
Tips for using vinegar in a child’s hair
My daughter hates the smell of vinegar (and honestly, so does my husband… in fact he does more so); therefore, including a really great smelling essential oil is an awesome way to counteract the smell and still get the job done.
I would recommend Lavender Oil for bedtime or a great refreshing scent if bathing in the morning. If you’re dealing with lice (which many school-aged kids are more likely), then Tea Tree Oil is a great option as well.
Combine the ACV, warm water, and the drop of soap in your bottle of choice. Add drops of your essential oil(s) of choice. (You can add as many drops of EO as you want as long as it is under 48 to keep it at a safe 1% dilution for kids. 96 for adults). Use about 1/4 of that if going for daily use.
Vinegar is actually a great carrier for oils, so Shake it up to mix it. And then you are all set and ready to go. Note that the drop of soap/shampoo is simply to get the solution to “stick” to the hair and not just run off. If you would like to add more, then that’s your prerogative; I just like keeping it as simple as possible.
Other ways to get bad tangles out of a child’s hair
I have tried a wet brush, but no it doesn’t work on her hair all that well. It’s WAY too curly and tangly to use on her hair.
Personally, I can use it with my straight hair, but her ringlets are too much of a match for the wet brush. In combination with the method above, it does help though.
Having my daughter lay on a towel to brush her hair has helped with the tangles and not hurt. She lays down with her hair spread out above her on a towel. I can place my hand on her head to hold her head near her scalp while I use a wet brush to brush it. What happens is most of the time the brush is getting into the towel so it doesn’t hurt as bad on her curls.
Don’t forget to check out our shampoo in a jar recipe or these other posts you may love:
Kara is an author and advocate for positive, grace-filled parenting. She is homeschooler to her 5 children living on a farm in New England. She believes in creative educational approaches to help kids dive deeper into a rich learning experience and has her degree in Secondary Education & Adolescent Childhood Development. She is passionate about connecting with and helping other parents on their journey to raise awesome kids!
Joei Tyra
Wow great advise, thanks! We have that issue here daily with long silky girl hair. I have a problem with my toddler boy’s head however. Do you have any tips on gettjng cradle cap off without harsh scraping of the scalp?
Thanks!
Kara Carrero
We have a cradle cap problem too! Honestly, I have seen a little bit of an improvement in the cradle cap using the vinegar as well. I am not sure if there is a correlation or not. I have also used a lice comb before. It’s not harsh scraping, it just picks up little bits of the cradle cap as you comb the hair. Maybe that would help
Ginger
All 3 of my boys had cradle cap and I tried several things with little success. My middle still had it after his 2nd birthday. Until I tried coconut oil! I had to do 3 treatments before it was all gone (it was pretty severe) but it was so easy and gentle! I just rubbed it onto the affected area about 10 minutes before bath time then just before washing I just gently combed over and it came right off! And it never came back either
Kara Carrero
Man, I seriously hate cradle cap. It’s such a beast. I have used some coconut oil and it has helped. I am just glad the new baby doesn’t seem to have cradle cap. (Hope it stays that way!)
Jennifer
Grapeseed oil also works to get the cradle cap out of the hair.
sarah
Coconut oil worked awesome for us. I rubbed a little bit on the scalp and then took one of small baby combs with teeth that are really close together to comb backwards through the hair. The cradle cap came off so easily without much picking.
Kara Carrero
We STILL struggle with cradle cap. It’s an awful plague to my children.
Anna
Try rubbing a little breast milk or gentle lotion into hair and then gently brush or comb. I do this before bath time-washes out in the bath and takes care of the problem in 2-3 treatments 🙂
Samantha
I was told putting Vaseline on the affected area, leaving it over night then washing the hair the next day would remove it
Kara Carrero
I had not heard of that one! We personally don’t use vaseline and I think we would probably go through a gallon in a month if we used it for this too 😉 but it’s definitely nice to know there are some other great options out there!
Samantha
You only use a tiny amount or you can imagine how difficult it would be to get it out of the hair
Marley
Try putting a silk or satin pillowcase were her head meets the carseat surface. This way her hair won’t get tangled and you will prevent hair loss caused by friction. 🙂
Kara Carrero
That’s a great idea. I might need to try that because her ability to tangle her hair is getting ridiculous!
Ginger
I’m definitely going to try this, your daughter has gorgeous hair, I’m jealous!
Kara Carrero
Thank you – I am so jealous of her hair too! It’s so gorgeous and mine is straighter than strait!
Danielle
this may be a dumb question, but where might I be able to find the essential oils? My youngest daughter has the longest, thickest, curly hair and she HATES….HATES to let me brush it. This recipe would be a lifesaver before she ends up with dreads (too young) lol. Thank you!!!
Kara Carrero
Not a dumb question at all! Sorry for the delayed response as we have been moving across country. I will send you an email shortly.
Monea
Do you leave the conditioner in or rinse out?
Kara Carrero
It isn’t like a traditional conditioner, so it doesn’t necessarily rinse out the same. Sometimes I use it in the shower and rinse out, but many times, it stays in.
Tammy
I finally bought a brush that you can use on wet hair and it works wonderfully. I got mine at my stylist salon. It’s called the wet hair brush. Kind of expensive, but so worth it!
Kara Carrero
We have a wet brush, but it doesn’t work on my daughter’s curls. It does work on my straight hair. It’s just not right for her ringlets. And I found that even my hair stays detangled longer when I do the ACV detangler, so for me they just make a great team.
Leigh
What do you shampoo your daughter’s hair with
Kara Carrero
I just rinse it with water most of the time. If it’s really dirty, I use a homemade shampoo recipe, but that’s few and far between.
Elisa
I have naturally curly hair. My 14 mo old daughter has it as well. Root to tip ringlets. Like Shirley Temple. Oil is super important to our hair. What exactly do you use when you wash her hair? How often do you wash her hair?
Kara Carrero
I usually only wash her hair when it starts to look like it needs it. Not when it’s greasy and gross, but at the point when it’s just not holding its shape and shines just a tiny bit more (If that makes sense? Maybe it’s just I have started noticing that perfect point myself more).
I have used a homemade variety of shampoo of sorts (linked in the post above) that has almond oil or jojoba oil in it to help moisturize along with baking soda. While baking soda alone can be damaging, coupled with the oils, it’s done a great job of keeping her hair clean, curly, and beautiful.
Now that she’s a little older (she’s over 3 now), we sometimes do a creamy conditioner “wash” with coconut oil and shea butter. Coconut oil in general is a great cleanser and has worked well on both my girls’ hair.
Lori
The hospital my kids were born at sent us home with a special soft plastic bristled square sponge/brush. I used the soft bristles and a tiny bit of shampoo on their scalps and very gently scrubbed in little circles and that, along with a light bit of lotion afterward, kept the cradle cap away. I’ve also used the super soft brush in the baby brush and comb sets to do the same thing. The gentle scrubbing seems to help exfoliate the scalp!
Kara Carrero
I used that exact brush with some coconut oil on my youngest’s head yesterday! It worked wonders for her, but my oldest just has had some crazy cradle cap that doesn’t seem to react to anything.
Kathy
One of my cousins three daughters had horrible cradle cap. It turned out to be a food allergy, peanuts and eggs…. She has since grown out of the egg allergy, but even more allergic to peanuts now. Just a thought you may want to run it by your pediatrician.
Amanda
My children all had severe cradle cap. Vaseline with a hat over it at night helped a lot. My oldest still has some issues with it but the anti-dandruff shampoo seems to be helping.
Emily
Whe detailing always start at the bottom of the hair and work your way up- otherwise you are “packing” the tangles- use a motion almost like beating eggs with a fork except using a comb. Also for cradle cap- Paul Mitchell Baby Don’t Cry shampoo and a SOFT bristle toothbrush works almost every time- a week straight and it will be gone. Put shampoo on- scrub with soft circular motions for 5-10 mins. Also use NO conditioners as they fake up on top of the cradle cap. You’re welcome!! Lol
Kara Carrero
Absolutely! In the instructions above, we mention how important it is to start at the bottom. I think that’s the hardest part for some.
We don’t use traditional shampoos in our kids’ hair, but thanks for the recommendation. With my youngest all it too was the soft square brush and some coconut oil and it was gone. My older daughter is different and nothing has helped!
Emily
My son was the same- the Paul Mitchell baby shampoo was the only thing that worked- it has also worked on adults- have used this method in my salon for years always with fantastic results- Baby Don’t Cry is ph balanced for the tear ducts and this same ph balance is what is effective on cradle cap!!
Amy
Just made this and used it on my daughter’s hair! We haven’t brushed her hair in about 2-3 weeks she they haven’t been attending school. She has curly hair and it was really getting matted. After a little spray and very little brushing, it was soooooo much better!!!! Thank you for this!!! You are a life saver!
Kara Carrero
I am SO GLAD to hear that it helped so much. We still use this 7 years later – it’s our go-to method. :]