I remember when my oldest had just turned one, the few months following I felt this urge to have more kids. Maybe because it was my biologic trigger, maybe because so many around me were adding baby 2 and even 3 to their line-up, or maybe just because I desired a large family.
Regardless, we had to address the important question of should I have another baby?
It goes beyond childbirth and more into the long-term focus of what seemed like a short-term question.
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Extremely Good Parenting Podcast EP. 012
Paula from Beauty Through Imperfection is back (even though this was actually recorded before episode 11) and we’re talking about planning for more kids in your family and what to expect when the new baby arrives. Maybe you or a friend is contemplating having another child and we chat all about this! She literally wrote the book on introducing a new baby into your family so it’s a great show!
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The points below are not addressed in the podcast episode but together with the audio and the book list on page 3, it gives you a great overview of adding to your family & being prepared.
How to decide if you should have more kids
How much “stuff” did you save from your previous child(ren)?
If you’re looking at having more kids and finances are something you’re concerned about, then either you should be budgeting much tighter or you should definitely still have a lot of baby gear on hand. In our $1,000 baby budget we discuss other eays to save money as well.
Is it financially appropriate?
Again, setting aside money in order to make sure you’re financially stable and comfortable is important. Even if you breastfeed, stay at home, and have virtually no other costs, keeping a cushion for when your child starts eating solids or just for medical emergencies is a great idea.
Are you willing to help your child(ren) prepare for a new baby?
It’s one of the hardest parts about having multiple children. Your baby will become an older sibling and you’re going to need to put in time and effort helping them adjust to this new transition that is monumental in their lives.
How will it impact our lifestyle?
There are lots of considerations here. Maybe you have a great schedule or the size of your home is perfect for the family size you already have. Or maybe you have two or more kids and you’re enjoying your time alone as they play together. They’re all factors in understanding how your entire family’s life would change.
Are we really ready or just feel pressures from outside influences?
Sometimes the feeling of wanting a baby comes from family, sometimes from friends, sometimes from hormones. But maybe, just maybe, it’s a valid feeling. It’s important to talk it and see if the desire to have more kids is something you’re ready to take on and something you and your spouse both really want.
How did you last childbirth experience go and how will you plan to replicate or avoid what happened last time?
Having a cesarean with my first, the second child was a bit harder to decide because we knew we wanted a natural birth and VBAC so we also had to decide between midwife or OBGYN. Maybe you had a traumatic birth experience or had one that was heavenly. Write out what you loved and hated so you can discuss it as a family and with care providers to emotionally prepare and be ready for baby.
In fact, you should probably discuss taking a childbirth class even if it’s just a refresher course. or an online class you can do as a couple at your own pace.
Are you ready for a little bit of craziness?
It’s a transition. In general, every big event in your life is and adding a precious baby is no small task. Especially if you’re preparing your toddler to welcome a new baby as a sibling, you’re going to add a dash of crazy to the family recipe.
Get more on prepping for the first months at home with baby on the next page in the podcast and family planning books on page three.
Kara is an author and advocate for positive, grace-filled parenting. She is homeschooler to her 5 children living on a farm in New England. She believes in creative educational approaches to help kids dive deeper into a rich learning experience and has her degree in Secondary Education & Adolescent Childhood Development. She is passionate about connecting with and helping other parents on their journey to raise awesome kids!
40 something Mom
You should ask yourself not only if you can handle two children, but can you handle two children… one with special needs? We were not prepared for that and our older child has regressed tremendously due to the amount of energy we have had to expend on the 2nd child. We were not prepared financially for a special needs child, nor for having two children in daycare (we thought we were, but then one child needed special respite care which cost more money).. We were not prepared emotionally for the weight of so many needs coming at us at once.. Moreover, we simply do not have the energy for two toddlers. If you are an “older Mom” you really need to think this over, hard. Just because your first child was perfect doesn’t mean you should push your luck and have a second. And just because you have enough energy to raise one child, does NOT mean you will have enough energy for two. Two is a totally different dynamic. Oh and by the way, I hope you are not a control freak because your house will never be clean and tidy again! I asked myself “how hard can it be to raise 2 children when you are already raising one?” the answer is “Damn hard”.