Ending Overpraise: Boost a child’s self-esteem without feeding their ego (Ep. 014)

The trouble with overpraising children

Extremely Good Parenting Podcast Ep. 014 Show Notes

Val is the owner and Editor of Bon Bon Break. We have a candid discussion about praising our kids, teaching them consequences, and helping prepare them for the real world by not sugar coating it.

• 2:00 Val’s Live discussion on NurtureShock
• 2:12 Check out NurtureShock the Book
• 5:23 Kids at the top of the chart struggle with a challenge they can’t complete immediately.
• 6:25 Kara tells her story of her mentor teacher’s first day of school speech, “You are not special” and also teaching that “failure is not fatal”
• 9:31 it takes failure in between to get to a win
• 9:50 A Great list of alternatives to “good job”
• 13:01 “We’re not kidding them! They’re smart”
• 13:20 Parents are (unfortunately) removing naturally occurring failure
• 13:45 Val: “Respect, admiration, and appreciation for others is an important part of being a community member. Everyone has a different gift to offer”
• 17:40 For every behavior you’re trying to teach, it takes a week for every year you didn’t enforce it before
• 18:02 You’re Grounded & Now it’s Going to Sting
• 29:10 Washington Post Article on how Parents Create Narcissistic Children and why it’s bad
• Love & Logic the Book
• 66 Positive things to say to your kids
• 42:30 How Val refills her parenting cup
• 43:37 Val’s fail story about how she thought her son would love the same things as her daughter and terrified her son! (But the redeeming story at the end)
• 46:06 What makes Val a good parent is that she expects her kids to fail and she sees it as an opportunity

How do you boost your child’s self-confidence and self-esteem?

Kara Carrero

Kara is an author and advocate for positive, grace-filled parenting. She is homeschooler to her 5 children living on a farm in New England. She believes in creative educational approaches to help kids dive deeper into a rich learning experience and has her degree in Secondary Education & Adolescent Childhood Development. She is passionate about connecting with and helping other parents on their journey to raise awesome kids!