Embracing self care as a mom – recharging for the sake of your kids

While it may not seem obvious at first, there is a difference between self-indulgence and self-care. The notion of “me time” can actually be harmful, not because you don’t deserve a break, but because caring for yourself shouldn’t be something you earn after a hard week.

Making time to prioritize yourself should be a non-negotiable way of life, not a spontaneous splurge to blow off steam.

For many women, this sounds really selfish.
“Prioritize myself? I would die for my kids. Who cares if I can’t remember when I last had a meal?”

Sound familiar?

And it’s not just mothers who have this mindset, but all women, since we tend to harbor more burdens and guilt.  While a mani-pedi, ladies’ night or shopping spree can be fun and do still have a place your life, what lasting impacts do they really have? How have they improved you, recharged your spiritual battery, or strengthened you for the week to come?

We need to set examples for our children, and not just send a message that it’s OK to live an unhealthy lifestyle, burning the candle at both ends, being totally used up…as long as you get one hour to yourself, $100 to burn, or one pint of Ben & Jerry’s come Friday.  

Read more about the misguided notion of me time and self-indulgence vs. self-care. 

5 lasting ways to take care of yourself in motherhood

Start an exercise routine.

Don’t jump to conclusions just yet! This can be a daily walk. It doesn’t have to be spinning, yoga, Zumba, or weightlifting, even though it can be, if that’s your thing.

Regardless, stop making excuses and stop considering this to be an optional part of life. And whatever you do, don’t berate yourself in front of your kids. Stop complaining about your body and weight or sharing your overall negative feeling.

Go ahead and count your blessings. Reframe your new exercise routine as being a step toward health, not a means to an end.

Read more about why it’s important to take care of yourself as a mom.

Watch what you eat.

This has nothing to do with dieting! Just use common sense before you put fuel into your body (remember, that’s what it’s supposed to be).

Ask whether it’s something you would feed to your kids or if you’ll regret it later in the day. This includes hydrating. When you eat better, you’ll feel better, and have more energy to continue doing all you do for everyone else!

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Incorporate mandatory time-outs.

Take time every day to pray, meditate, or write in a journal, diving deeper into your thoughts and emotions. When you begin to clear your mind. life feels lighter and more carefree. You won’t sweat the small stuff as much, because you’ll realize that there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for.

Read more about how to model and instill gratefulness in children. 

Dress for the job you want.

Yes, you may be a stay at home mom, work at home mom, or have a very lax job. 

But what’s the first impression someone has of you even if it’s just the UPS guy? Or maybe… it’s just you looking back at yourself in the mirror. Even if you’re newly postpartum, getting ready and dressing yourself gives both a sense of accomplishment and control in a chaotic season of life. 

Get dressed, take care of your hygiene, run a brush through your hair and prepare for the day, just as you would get your children ready. While you don’t have to transform into a beauty queen daily, carving out time in the bathroom to take care of yourself before your family members, sets an example and establishes boundaries.

I mean, we all know that when you’re on an airplane, the flight attendants will instruct you, in case of an emergency, to put your own oxygen mask on before assisted others. And to pour from your own cup, you have to fill it first.

Socialize.

This simply means you need to interact with other human beings (preferably adults) on a daily basis. This can be a phone call, a planned outing or a conversation at the market.

Other people exist!

And you never know how you can help them or how they can help you. Striking up a conversation will give you something to think about that you might not have otherwise. Bonus points for having intelligent conversation that involves something you’re reading, or learning about, or even a current event. There’s only one rule here: avoid gossip.

If it doesn’t feel good, it probably isn’t good for you.

What else do you do to take care of yourself for the long haul?

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