Noise is one of my triggers. And when anyone in my family spends a little too much time in front of a screen we get a little crazy. And those are the days I wish there was a magic family reset button.
I start wondering why I ever turned on the TV or start blaming myself for being too focused on finishing a project instead of investing quality time into my children.
We all go through the ebbs and flows of family life. Raising kids can be full of fun and joy but other days it’s also like trudging through deep thick mud to get through the day.
Why every family should plan a reset
Our world is at a constant speed of busy. The days fly by and before you realize it, the evening has come and it’s time for everyone in the house to start getting ready for bed.
Where did the day go? Really stop and think about your days. Break down your daily habits and lifestyle.
- How much of your day do you spend at work?
- How much of your day do you spend doing tasks or chores?
- How much of your day do you spend with your family?
In fact, I once talked with a mom who had done just this. She calculated out every minute of her time, even to use the bathroom. And the results were shocking. Her 24 hours were gone in a flash and it was heartbreaking. But asking those hard questions can help lead to amazing solutions and build habits to factor in family time more meaningfully.
How to work towards giving your family time a fresh start
If your mind and heart are having you question the different ways that your time is split up during the day, then try to listen and pay attention to those thoughts and feelings. Life is busy, we know this. But, we also know that it is important to have it slow down as well and enjoy the present.
It’s possible to make that happen. It’s possible to reset you and your family’s connection and time together. If you feel that a reset is needed, put it on your calendar.
Move beyond “just talking” to deeper conversation
Having a conversation with a spouse or with a child involves listening, responding, and being an active participant.
Meaningful conversations call for talking about our fears, our ambitions, and the deepest feelings within ourselves.
At the age of 3 and 4, Jenn was telling me all about death. Yes… death. And these were insightful conversations about how she felt that dying was something meant to be peaceful. It wasn’t just her fears about us not being around anymore or the idea that those around us might not be there for her to talk to. Over the years, it’s even turned into timelines of knowing that most people die when they’re old, but that God calls some people home earlier.
They’re meaningful discussions with deep meaning and big emotions involved. And she’s comfortable coming to us to talk about it because there is space given to her to both “just talk” and to truly converse about something meaningful.
(On a lighter note, it might be mentioned that if you have a non-stop talker, giving them an outlet like talking to an Amazon Alexa or doing drama or something else in this capacity might open up more talking vs. conversation time for them.)
Looking for a family reset? Join our free challenge before it closes! Click Here.
Make time for quality time.
All excuses aside. If you want to reset your family bonding time, it starts with spending time together. A plan should be made on when family time is going to happen.
For all to be involved, all should be in the know. Quality time can mean so many different things! It can be an outing, an event or just sitting down together at the table and eating dinner together. Quality time can be excessive or minimal.
The bottom line is that it involves everyone, together, enjoying one another and engaging with one another.
If you have a family full of sports fans, make that your thing! Go to a ballgame, or snuggle up on the couch and watch one together on TV. No matter how it’s done, just get it started. When time is made for one another, it can start to become an event that everyone in the family begins to look forward to. That one night a every couple of weeks of family time may start trickling into a weekly routine or even manifest as a few nights per week, or possibly even a nightly dinner full of everyone sitting around the table actively engaging in conversation.
Encourage each other.
Be strong with each other and for each other.
It’s not hard to give someone a compliment, but so easily we often forget.
Compliments can be small in stature, they don’t have to be some grand gesture. Giving praise for a great breakfast, or thanking someone in your family for taking out the trash…those all count as encouraging words! It can be simple to make someone feel appreciated and loved with just the simplest words of kindness.
Remember, love is patient. Patience is important when dealing with family because we all come in with different expectations and personalities.
Just because you may be feeling it’s time for a reset, it may take others in your family a little longer to feel that way or to understand the need to have that reset. It may not be automatic for some to accept the decision, but it is important to make certain that all are included.
Be patient. Be loving. Be understanding and accepting.
Learn to listen.
As parents, we may tend to nag at times…shocking, right? Sometimes, our children are just trying to communicate the only way they know how, and that can be by throwing a tantrum or refusing to participate in family functions.
Before joining in on that frustration we can learn to listen.
Try to allow your child the chance to speak their thoughts without being interrupted by you or someone else. Show them that love you have for them, by being there for them in their time of need. Letting them communicate what they don’t agree with isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
We want our children to grow up to stand up for their beliefs and their values and to be able to speak for themselves, so why wouldn’t we foster that and nourish that in our own home? Reset the family communication skills by learning to listen to each other.
Don’t let the importance of family time fall between the cracks of the chaos of life. Family focus needs to stay on the front burner of life, not put on the back burner. Focus on the happiness, health, and love of your family and see how a “reset” could help your family reconnect with one another.
Register for the free family reset challenge
This challenge will help take you through step-by-step how to really get a reset going and is appropriate for any size family with kids of any age. We only open it up a couple of times each year so if you sign up after the closing enrollment, you’ll be put on our waitlist!
Click here to learn more about the family reset challenge and to register.
Kara is an author and advocate for positive, grace-filled parenting. She is homeschooler to her 4 children living in Boston, MA and believes in creative educational approaches to help kids dive deeper into a rich learning experience. She has her degree in Secondary Education & Adolescent Childhood Development and is passionate about connecting with and helping other parents on their journey to raise awesome kids!