An open letter to the mom of the boy who fell in the gorilla enclosure

Comments

1. Sarah

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   Death trumped tranquilization because it was the safest for the child. A tranquilizer can take several minutes to take effect and make the gorilla very aggressive until it does.

   Reply

   • Kara Carrero

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     I do understand that. What I mean by that statement is that there was someone who made the call. Someone who is living with that decision. We don’t know the protocols and procedures they have that they discuss before an event like this even happens. No one is going to know who made the call and why it was 100% the right call. Because it’s a hard decision to make and I am sure that particular person is also quite haunted by the entire ordeal as well.

   • Pat Holland

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     no it wasnt safest for the child the gorilla was protecting the child. yes he drug him threw the water but that is how they do there kind it was a shamless murder

   • Betty

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     As a mother and now grandmother it happens to all of us one time or another. When my son was another 3 he got on top of a dairy bar roof while I was ordering ice cream. He was sitting at picnic table with older sister and I heard a mommy and giggles coming. From above my head. It was my son still in diapers looking down at me giggling. He had went up stairs and climb through a railing. I was terrified he would fall or even jumb. He new no fear at that age. But no matter how good of a parent you are accidents happen. It’s part of life. I pray this mother doesn’t let the hateful things say make her feel like a bad mother. Gods knows I did my best but kids are so fast Can be at your side one minute and gone the next. My daughter was nothing like her youngest brother. He was s handful. And my grandson were just as mischief as my son was. It’s life and no ones perfect. But some people like to think they

   • Claudia

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     I greatly appreciate that Kara put a different perspective on this incident that was so terrifying. If you see this reply, Kara, thank you.

   • KatPat

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     My thoughts exactly. If tranquilized , the animal could have fallen on the child and crushed him. He could have killed the child before the drug worked. Who are we to judge the training of the Dangerous Animal Response Team ?

   • Laura Climer

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     Also it could have fallen on the child killing him . I think it was done the only way it colud have been, My thought is why was it caged in the first p;ace . God put the animals where he wanted them .Man decided to cage them

   • Kasey

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     YESSSSSSSSSSSS!! A million times yes! That’s child’s life was in danger and a tranquilizer could have been 30 secs too much for a 4 year old! I agree with the article AND this statement! It brings sadness, but hopefully awareness too!

   • Dave

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     Agreed….Kara, a report that I read stated the Gorilla was standing with the child between his legs. Tranquilizing him at that point would have been extremely dangerous….even if he didn’t purposely try and hurt the child, if the fell on him, he could have seriously hurt him. Pat Holland, to say the gorilla was protecting the child, you are not 100% sure. Could he have….absolutely……was he definitely trying to protect him and not harm him….you are not sure and would you take that chance with your child??? Either way, it was a trajesty…….

   • Rosemary

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     The man who made this call was on the news and said the length of time a tranquilizer takes to work and the animals response to the meds could have meant the death to the child. This was their call and a good one even though sad for the animal.

   • Tim

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     Exactly. I saw a zoo official explain this. It’s not difficult to understand, even for those of us who are sad the gorilla had to be killed. I wish more people understood this and understood that animal behaviour is unpredictable at best.

   • Elena

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     I just think that if you are a parent they have baby harnesses that you leash your children that you can’t control 🙂

   • Melissa

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     More details on why death trumped tranquilization…..

     http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/outrage-grows-after-gorilla-harambe-shot-dead-cincinnati-zoo-save-n582706

     “During a news conference Monday, Cincinnati Zoo Director Thane Maynard said that Harambe was “clearly disoriented” and “acting erratically.” Once zookeepers realized that the boy was in the exhibit, he said, they used special calls to clear the area of gorillas; all of them responded except Harambe.
     “He was stimulated and excited,” Maynard said, adding that shooting the gorilla with a tranquilizer, which might not take effect for several minutes, would only have caused panic in the animal.
     “You can’t take a risk with a silverback gorilla,” he said. “We’re talking about animal that with one hand can take a coconut and crush it.””

   • Debbie

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     All these comments are so special but the facts are this beautiful creature is never coming back. He was a rare and endangered species. Apparently the mother was not watching her child as she should have because he kept asking to go in the water. He then fell in.I took my young children to the zoo many times. Never happened. I watched my children like a hawk and never left their side.

   • Christine

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     Actually, the child was in the enclosure for OVER 10 minutes. During that time, if he had wanted to harm or kill this child, he most assuredly would have done so within those 10 plus moments & this was protective mode not aggression. Those moments could & should have been used to tranquilize the animal. And, saying being shot by a tranquilizer ‘might’ have angered the gorilla? Is crap, being shot & not killing him instantly could have angered him.
     Then, you comment saying that being tranquilized the gorilla would have become groggy & ‘might’ have fallen onto the child, crushing, suffocating or injuring the child?
     Again, no more than shooting & killing the animal, they do collapse when dying, too ya know… This was no accident, accident are unpreventable as in an earthquake, tonado, floods, etc… This INCIDENT could have been prevented by everyone unvolved!
     The zoo, the person who called for the animal to be killed (rather than tranquilized), the parent (mainly her), the child, the other people that were there at the exhibit, and all of us as a society who get entertainment from imprisoning innocent animals! And, as always the animal is the one who pays the ultimate price!

   • Nunya

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     Then they shoulda used more than one! I’m orry but the Zoo is at fault. They should have had a plan and none of this would have happened. And actually if we’re gonna go down the “it never would have happened” road, the exhibit shouldn’t have been an OPEN exhibit! For a gorilla?? Seriously. They need to get their act together.

   • Jonathan

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     Um, it really wasn’t shameless murder. Perhaps the gorilla was actually protecting the child, but the safety of the child would still be dangerously risked. Being such a strong and powerful animal, the gorilla could have unintentionally hurt the child or worse, kinda like when riding a horse and it rears up causing one to fall off. Although I don’t understand why the zoo didn’t just send in one of the gorilla’s zookeepers to retrieve the child, especially if the gorilla was born and raised in captivity, but clearly the zoo personnel had a reason to respond the way they did.

   • Peter E.

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     The fact: it is not the mother who made gorillas so rare and endangered that now people have to think whether to save an animal or a human being. She did not create that situation. Others did. Every mother has the right to save, rescue their child.

   • Julie

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     I believe that any approach would have caused an uproar. People like to jump on bandwagons. All these people who are angry with the mother of the child better watch throwing stone’s.

   • shelly dollar

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     My husband has worked with the great apes at our city’s zoo. A 400 pound gorilla, even under sedation, is unpredictable. I have stood in a room while the doctor’s were performing medical tests on the gorilla while the ape was sedated. Fortunately, the sedation took, but there were other times, that the huge animal woke or began to awaken during a procedure. There is no sure way to know if the sedation will take, how long it will be before sedated, and how long the animal will remain unconscious.

     I am sorry the animal is dead, but the animal did not understand the fragility of a human child’s life and the child was definitely in danger.

   • Ricqui

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     The thing is, the child was in the enclosure for 10 minutes before the gorilla was killed. They should have tried tranquilizing first, but maybe with a gunman on standby just in case. This all could have been prevented.
     The zoo should have proper barriers up, the Mom should have kept a better eye on her child, the zoo should have at least tried tranquilizing first.
     I wasn’t there, I don’t know what went down exactly, I’ve just read a few articles. Mistakes do happen, I just feel that the whole situation was handled incorrectly. After 10 minutes, the child is alive and not injured.
     The zoo, in my opinion was wrong, shooting the animal should have been the absolute last option.

   • Lisa

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     I think alot of people are yhinking that the family are going to sue and make lots of money off this tragedy. I feel bad for both parties and I feel no one should be rewarded compensation for innocent negligence on both parts. Let’s move on and learn from this.

   • TMoore

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     I TOTALLY AGREE! Okay so everyone wants to take up for the gorilla…maybe he was trying to protect him like he does his own kind, but if they had tranquilized him he could have gotten very mad and hurt theither child. A human life should always trump animal life. Sorry I’m not sorry to admit that. No the child should have never been left unattended, but it happened!! The only reasonable thing to do then is to protect him and get him out safe.

   • Tamara

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     So what they could have tried to tranquilize him first and if he hot out of control then shot him no more zoos these animals are not for entertainment how much more do these animals have to endure before the world realizes that these animals aren’t are to do so what we want with they are not entertainment

   • Allie

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     Sorry. My kids never wanted to even misbehave in that manner at that zoo! My sympathy goes with the primate, he was endangered the kid wasn’t. The parents need to compensate the zoo for their loss!!

   • Jami

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     I agree with Christina’s comment. The killing of this beautiful, majestic animal was ultimately the fault of people’s sick, disgusting desire to come and view animals in captivity and miserable every now and then for amusement! Zoos, circuses, rodeos shouldn’t exist, period!!!!!!

   • Chas

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     I wasn’t there. But I have to wonder why no one on the DART team went into the enclosure after the child or to try to distract the gorilla. Of course, the gorilla could have killed him, but isn’t it their job to deal with dangerous animals and know how to best deal with them? Any moron could shoot the thing, so why is there a DART team? I would like to think that had I been on the team, I would have tried to resolve the situation so no one gets killed. Go in armed, but with food, a toy, something to distract, something to calm. There is a lot of room between safe and dead. Maybe he would have hurt me, maybe not. But even after 10 minutes, the gorilla didn’t hurt the child. Who knows what would have happened, but I’m really confused what is the job of the DART team if they are just going to shoot the thing.

   • Matt

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     It’s a gorilla for goodness sake. I don’t know why they took the time to try to distract the animal. It’s not even a close call. There should have been a bullet to the head as soon as they could find a loaded gun. The only tragedy would have been if the CHILD had been killed.

   • Trisha

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     That is exactly what I was going to say. Being if they did tranquilize the gorilla, it would have caught him by surprise and made him mad. Who knows what he would’ve done to the boy if they didn’t kill him, and made him mad for those minutes while the tranquilizer was taking affect

   • Lisa d

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     i really personally think it was the crowd that was stressing everyone out if that gorilla wanted to kill him he would of done it the minute he fell in but the crowd kept screaming an quiet who woudnt get stressed out really i think the crowd not blaming them at all but it surely didn’t help its really a tradgey on both parts i just need to say this

   • JayL

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     Thank you Sarah!! I have witnessed animals being tranquillized before on Discovery and other TV like that. Many times, the animal will keep on running for a great distance before the tranquilizer finally takes effect. I believe that Gorilla would have become much more irritated than he already was and he might even think that the child did it to him. We can only imagine what would have happened then!!! I think the zoo handled this situation in the best way they could and my heart goes out to them. The only thing I have to say about this situation is that all animal areas should be built in a way so that it is impossible for anyone to get into the animals’ zoo home. I think a large netting all around the opening would help. I realize that would block the view slightly, but people could still see the animals enough.

   • Beverly Norberg

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     And also, if the tranquilizer kicked in, the 400 lb gorilla could fall over ONTO the child and kill him that way. then the naysayers would say the gorilla should have been “killed” to save the child. Food for thought.

   • Kristina

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     While I would love it if my kids were as perfectly behaved as Allies apparently are, not all of us have been blessed with perfect little angels. My kids probebly wouldn’t try to get into a cage but the one time you think they won’t… All good parents try to keep an eye on their kids at all times but sometimes things happen. I can’t say it’s never happened to me, my kid took off in a Walmart once and let me tell you that is s terrifying thing to happen. I place no blame on the mom for this animals death. I agree with all people who are asking why was the child able to get into the enclosure in the first place??? If it was possible for kids to sneak in it was not a safe place to have a gorilla in the first place. And he was in there 10 minutes? What personnel member of the zoo in a dangerous my unfit viewing area failed to notice s child a: sneaking in or b: actually in the space for 10 min!!!! Like, put your phone down dude!!! The mother has been through enough, the zoo needs to rethink some if their choices and people need to stop throwing stones.

   • Rick

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     I heard a trainer say this morning that, for a gorilla of that size, it would take about 10 minutes for the tranquilizer to take full effect. And the zoo director said that he had seen this gorilla crush a coconut with one hand.

     In that moment, the zoo had to choose between the life of the gorilla and the child. I’m glad that the life of the child was preserved.

   • Paul Antease

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     I heard an interview today with famed zookeeper Jack Hannah. As an expert on silverback gorillas he said the look on the animal’s face was exactly what you DO NOT want to see. The animal had no intentions of protecting the child. He concurred that a tranq would have only upset an already agitated animal. That and a leading PETA spokesperson agreeing that the shooting was the ONLY decision should shut the door on the speculation as to weather the “call” by the zoo was the right one. Sometimes the right decision is not always the most palatable. The negligence here falls on the zoo not having the appropriate safeguards to avoid this. Unless the mom was over at the beer stand not watching her kid, she should be held blameless. As many of these posts state, ANY parent can lose sight of a child momentarily. That does not make you a bad parent.

   • Jill

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     Beautifully written. It is so easy to point fingers and blame, until it is your child down there!
     I believe they started the protocol to shoot to kill, after a child’s life was lost, after tranquilizing the gorilla, he thrashed the child until he went unconscious. (Canada 1991?)
     However, I’ve also heard that if it was a female, she would have protected it, most likely, and that the male is more likely to feel it is a threat that he needed to handle.
     There’s no telling what would have happen, no need for “if only’s”, a decision was made, at a time of extreme pressure, what if they made the wrong decision and he ended up dead? Equally as tragic. What if it was YOUR CHILD? Would you want them to do?

   • Catherine Thompson

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     The mother according to witnesses at the zoo was on her cell phone after her 4 year old had said repeatedly he wanted to swim with the gorilla. Shouldn’t that raise a red flag? This child was not watched long enough to climb over a 3 foot fence and then get through 4 feet of heavy brush before falling into the mote. What is really upsetting is this mother decided to get on social media and declare “accidents happen”. This was not an accident it was poor parenting. And yes it is easy to point fingers from behind a keyboard but speaking from someone who visits that zoo on a regular basis and knows for a fact this is the first time anybody has penetrated that barrier in 37 years goes to show the lack of parental supervision. The bottom line is due to lace of adult supervision this child almost died and Harambe did die for doing nothing more that being in his space. Unfortunately Harambe is on the endangered species list of animals and was only 17, his life expectancy is 60 year. Again this was not a momentarily lost sight of a child, and you can hear her in the back ground saying Mommy is here, stay calm, Mommy loves you. Most parents I know would have been in that enclosure trying to save their child. Yes that could have amounted to several more deaths but that is how most caring parents would react. I feel this mother should reimburse the zoo for its lost. She created this mess.

   • Lynda

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     Very well said. My children are adults now but when they were younger it seemed as though I was always loosing one or the other. Mom was right there and I can’t even imagine how she felt when a very large animal grabbed her child and started dragging him through water that could have drown him, whipping him around could have broken bones or killed him. That mother as well as all involved where probably terrified. It is easy to set in judgment but putting ourselves in the position of this lady sure makes me think differently. Yes, it is sad that this beautiful creature has died, but better him then the child. I challenge any parent to say they have never lost sight of their child for a second? Please, if we are honest with ourselves we know we have and but for the Grace of God, it could have been our child!

   • Medea

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     At Elena, I have never used a harness, nor has many mothers out there on their children. Our children are not animals. All kids wonder at some point. Especially toodlers, they are exploring the world. Even the best of mom’s can loose sight of their child in an instance. Who says the child was uncontrollable ? Wondering does not make a child out of control. My daughter when she was three too , wondered away from me. I only turn my head for a second. In a crowded place that’s all it takes. I freaked out, I was terrified some one took her . We were in the mall in a store. It’s a parents worst nightmare. It’s happens all the time all over the world. We were lucky !! She had to go potty, but instead of telling me she went into the fitting room to go in her pull up, she was being potty trained at the time. Which kids during potty training have a tendency to go in a corner or hide when they have to go. Not all kids do it, but a big percent do. But a new mom may not know that. I’m sure this mom was horrified by what happened. She was there to enjoy her time with her child, a zoo is a place most parents take their children expecting it to be safe. It’s sad they had to put the gorilla down, but what’s more valuable, a human life !! I love animals by all means , but if there’s a fire and I have to choose my child or my pet , and can only save one. Bet your money it’s going to be my child !! Bottom line. Everyone did the best they could of done in this situation. Everything I have heard makes perfect sense, and was what had to be done to save a human life. Thank you Cara for the letter, I’m sure this mom could use this. It’s not the moms fault at all. My son has ran out in front of a car right in front of me. I did not think he would do that, and he was 9 years old. Thank god he did not get hit. I do know in Illinois if a child runs out in the street and they are hit by a car , the driver is automatically liable for hitting a child if 12 and under. Because the law recognizes child 12 and under are impulsive. So driving is a privilage. With that in mind you need to be careful and in residential areas always watch for children . As in any place , or public. We should always watch for children. Which if we are going to say bad things about mom, it’s obvious no other adult saw or paid attention to a young child wandering either.

   • Debbie Van Wormer

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     I have read several of the previous comments and I agree with some of them. Even though it looked like the animal was trying to protect the child, a gorilla is still a wild animal even though he had been born and raised in captivity. You need to watch the movie titled “Buddy”. That movie is about a woman that took in a baby gorilla and doctored it because it had pneumonia. She raised that gorilla to adult but the gorilla still turned on her and attacked her. Jarambe could have done the same thing. You maybe able to train a gorilla but you can’t take the wild out of a gorilla. Yes the mother should have been watching her son better but I zlso know as a mother and grandmother, that a child can get away from a parent very quickly if they want to and it doesn’t matter if you are a good or a bad parent. I can almost guarantee that at least 85% of parents have had the experience of their child coming up missing. Thos article is very well written and I agree with the author of tbe article. This was a terrible accident. I hope that the zoos and wildlife preervestake notice and make sure their envlosures are animal and child proof.

   • Cindy

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     I mean no disrespect when I say this, but its always the animals life that is disposable. I was not there so I do not know how or what I would have felt or done but with that being said they could of tried before destroying a life, although it was a situation that needed fast attention. I am saddened for both sides of the story, it is very upsetting when this type of situation happens, but there has to be something done so this doesn’t happen again which this isn’t the first time. What would people be saying if he had killed the child? Would it be then justified? Someone always has to be held accountable, but who is the question? We may never find out and no one is going to stand up and admit they were wrong.

   • Steve

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     I agree that The Gorilla had to be put down,,, what I don’t understand is that During that 15 Minute episode, over 100 Living Human Babies were aborted, and WHERE is the Outrage about THAT, I Thank the LORD that your child was not hurt any more than he was, and Pray that he is not Traumatized by the whole incident ! In MY Heart I Know the value of a HUMAN life is Greater than that of ANY animal, Endangered or not, Yes I feel Bad for the loss of the Gorilla, but the Action they took Should NEVER be questioned,,,, to ME it was a NO BRAINER !!!! Hold your Head High,,, Nothing that happened that day is Your Fault
     Love and Prayers
     Steve

   • Geri

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     Hi I just wonder if the child had unfortunately died instead would people be saying why didn’t the zoo shoot him? I’m sorry no matter who’s fault or not a human life always trumps an animals. I have a friend who’s 4 year old little girl was shot by accident by her own father while he was scaring away raccoons. I just pray for all evolved.

   • Kia

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     As a former animal control officer I can tell You that tranquilizing an animal can take from several several minutes to 30 minutes sometimes and there’s no way of telling how the animal will react to the drugs if they will get violent aggressive scared so I cannot imagine that that would’ve been an option since watching That little boy we all know everyone who has seen that knows without a doubt that it would take only a split second for the outcome to have been very different for him so no tranquilization was not a viable option in my opinion and we all get it that this was a beautiful endangered animal but everyone seems to be forgetting that it was also an innocent human life and I just can’t imagine someone wanting to make the choice of the animal over a little boy

   • Elise

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     According to a gorilla expert, the tranquilizer would not have worked in time and only make him more aggressive. If they shot him he would have fallen in the water and drowned before anyone could pull the 400-pound gorilla out. He could have also landed on the child crushing and drowning him because no one knows where he would have dropped.

     The screams of the crowd were what was upsetting him. The child was not a threat. But the gorilla expert said he would have used the child to show aggression so whoever was screaming would not attack him.

     It’s very sad. I believe more than ever in plexiglass enclosures.

   • Linda

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     The only fault is that of the zoo who has wild animals living out of their natural habitat and in captivity,
     which is the biggest crime of all.

   • Whitney

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     Pat, the child had a concussion and was visibly agitated. The EXPERTS concluded that the gorilla was NOT protecting the child and the child was in immediate danger.

     I just don’t get how all of a sudden, after watching a video on the Internet, everyone seems to think they’re gorilla behavior experts.

   • Josh

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     Finally someone with sense. Thats exactly why they chose killing the poor gorilla. Because tranqs very likely may have cost the life of the poor child.

   • katherine shearer

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     Oh dear Kara. Thank you for that lovely letter. I know I am in the minority because I have been attacked for saying pretty much everything you wrote in this letter but not as eloquenly. I am a fan and I pray for that Mom. I have to add that all those people that are so antagonizing are those I call the insecure people of the world. If they were comfortable being themselves they would not lash out. They are angry people who feel better putting others down to make themselves look better so they think.God Bless you and the mother of that child.

   • John

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     Folks, it is not hard to understand why tranquillize get was not an option. Listen to the experts, educate yourself and even watch what happens in these cases. It’s not a magic dart that works immediately. Let’s be honest, zoos are there to protect and preserve animals like this. And, humans can learn from the animals residing within. This is safe and the essence of humane. So, let’s stop pushing agendas with lies and distortion. Zoos are not the problem. When we people visit the homes animals live in (enclosed zoo or the wild nature) we need to respect the animals. They behave with brute, natural instinct. That’s how they survive. Teach your children to respect all animals and their habitats (i.e. Don’t run up to a barking dog and try to pet it without asking permission of the owner.). And, teach adults to set aside the distractions and watch their children. What text or Facebook post was so important that it cost this animal its life? And, let us be glad we are not asking the same of the child.

   • Pat

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     I think the gorilla was trying to protect the child from the crazy crowd. How did he know that crowd was wasn’t hostile and possibly even trying to harm the child? But no one could take a chance with an animal that size (we can’t humanize them). It was the right decision, as sad as it is. An accident happened and it had to be handled in the safest way possible, for the child. No one can safely predict the behaviour of an animal that size and they could not take a chance on that little boy’s life. I do cry for the gorilla – all very sad ?

   • Ann Shewchuk

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     They also said,if he was darted, he could have fallen on the boy and either suffocate him or possibly drown him also!

   • me

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     multiple tranquilizers do not. 4 would have put him down in 26 seconds

   • A.Thiyaga Raju from Singapore

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     I believe the zoo officials chose the easier option of putting down the silverback gorilla to save the boy . However, if I were in their position I would have taken a different path giving paramount interest to both lives- the boy and the animal- at stake. I would have summoned the zookeepers of the gorilla to get into the animal’s cave with a huge tray filled with all his favourite food and fruits to divert its attention away from the boy. I am sure the gorilla will be feeling less stressed to be surrounded by people whom its familiar with. Furthermore, the huge tray of fruits may actually sway him away from the boy. Just feel that 10 minutes was too short a time to make critical decisions when two lives are at stake.

   • ZanyZapper

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     Humans put the gorrila into this situation both in the sense of being behind bars and also with the child being able to get into the gorillas home. This is all on humans.

     Instead of tranquilizer or bullet, a zoo keeper should have been given an opportunity to coax the animal by means of food or endearment.

     Why should the gorilla be destroyed.?

     Because it’s an animal?
     Because it’s bigger and stronger than us?
     Because it showed aggressive tendencies towards the child?
     Because it’s a different breed race or colour?

     Respectfully
     Mr Animal

   • Alice

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     For all the people saying he should have been tranquilized, would you have taken that chance if it was your kid? I highly doubt it.

   • Sondra Small

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     I’m truly heartbroken for all who were involved in this infamous day. I do know that we serve a living, powerful, merciful God who never comes short of His word and ALL things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. I am a mother and a grandmother, words cannot express the pain I felt and still feel in my heart as I watched this story unfold and heard the held back panic in that mothers voice. I too am saddened by the early demise of such a noble creature, but in the same breath I praise God for saving that little child’s life, and doing what was good and just for everyone involved. My prayers remain for this family and all involved.
     God Bless The United States of America.

2. April

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   Beautifully written !!! I agree 100% with everything you said. I am the mother of two beautiful little girls. My youngest is the same age as the little boy and I would love to say that it would NEVER happen to my child but I would be untruthful. I am not a perfect parent even though I strive to be.i can’t cast judgment on this mother because I can easily see myself in the situation .

   Reply

   • Patti

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     My son and I were just discussing this today, who among us has not lost their child even for a split second and thank got nothing happened. Even Jack Hanna said they did the right thing putting the gorilla down they couldnt take the chance he would harm the child. the video of him dragging the boy around, even tho some people there say he was protecting him, was so sccary, if that was my child or grandchild, would want them to do the same thing, tho sad.

   • Gina

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     What a beautiful letter! Hope you can find joy in your life again! May your child be at peace ! I am a big animal lover! Love animals more than some people, but your child comes b4 an animal , so don’t even be affected by the negativity that people write!

   • Gina

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     I too agree!

   • Lori

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     Kara, you spoke the truth… It really makes me feel great to know that someone so intelligent spoke out when there is so many that are speaking out with hate.. Thank you for that. I pray for this family.. And no parent is perfect we are all human and things happen no matter how safe you are. Thanks again, very well spoken,

   • Marilyn

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     You go Kara. So well written. There are lessons for EVERYONE to learn here. Awareness for so may situations.
     Those who cast the first stone, etc. Stop all the negativity and put all your anger into programs to enlighten.

   • Eva

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     Lovely letter Kara.
     The design of the zoo enclosure is 100% to blame. A lively child, especially if you have others to deal with, can easily dart off when they are determined. That boy wanted to go in there.

     I looked at video, including that of the boy being dragged and although I agree that whilst the boy was clearly safe after his ordeal, there was a risk that the gorilla could have hurt him by accident and as a responsible zoo owner, and knowing too that I had to choose between a seriously injured child or dead gorilla (I accept that tranquilising could potentially take time and the position of eventual fall could not be predicted and could have resulted in the gorilla trapping boy under water) I would be forced to choose dead gorilla. It is an epic tragedy to lose this wondrous being but I feel sorry for the poor mother and zoo officials.
     Hopefully that lad can use this experience when he grows up to help save these wonderful creatures. Then again, I would hate for this family to have to live the rest of their lives under this cloud and feeling that they must devote their lives to gorillas as a form of retribution.
     Too many haters out there I’m afraid. I love animals. I prefer animals actually to humans but all situations require logic. Too many have lost all logic

   • Courtney

     at

     Amen.

   • Vhattem

     at

     Well said… I feel the same way. I was quick to think to myself oh no not my kid but that’s not true I have 5 children oldest 16 years and 7mths my youngest. It could have happened to anyone no one’s perfect!!!! Myself included it’s such a tragic nightmare. I hope the family finds peace. Especially his poor mother….

   • June gamble

     at

     Yes I agree. The article is beautifully written. As a mother a child can disappear so fast. What I would like to know is why someone in the crowd didn’t grab the child and stop him from climbing. It would have helped the mother.

   • donna boley

     at

     I totally agree with you. they need to stop all the negativity and move on from this. may God grant peace & comfort to the parents of tis child!!

   • Lauren Johnson

     at

     I am grateful that this article was written, I get so disheartened to see the hateful ways we use our compassion for one person or animal against another. If we can practice more empathy and less judgement, the world will be a better place!

   • Janine Courneyea

     at

     I think this is a well written and thought out letter. I agree that making a negative become positive is the way to go, when an incident/accident happens, it needs to be analyzed, to see what went wrong (i.e. The enclosure for one) what can be done to ensure this does’t happen again.
     I feel sorry for the mom, first to see that her child has skipped away, then to find he is in the Gorilla enclosure, those, by them selves would be terrifying enough, but then to experience all the Hate…………… What is that all about. I do not understand that, you would think that she deliberately threw her son to the gorilla???????????give it a break already!!!!!!!!!!

   • Brook

     at

     Thank you!!! I can’t believe some of the judgment come from mothers and mommy-bloggers. They act like they’ve never taken their eyes off a child. EVER. They also act like they are experts in animal behavior. Unless you’ve got a degree/experience, you don’t get to say “they should’ve done this” or “the animal was acting protectively” just because you read a few articles. Sorry folks. Y’all need to get a life. (BTW my four year old would probably have tried to ride the ape like a horse). Smh. Four year olds.

   • Moshe Z. Matitya

     at

     All of you need to respond as if it were your child in there

   • margie

     at

     Why in God’s name are children seemingly falling into gorilla’s enclosure in USA. Don’t you have safety fences. I mean come on – how many more animal deaths do we have to put up with stupid parent’s not parenting properly? I felt more sorry for Hamabra’s death that the kid.

3. M

   at

   Thank you. The hate directed towards this woman in so many comments is terrible and frightening. I would never think that my kid could make it past a zoo barrier–not really. And things do happen quickly. I also hope this mother is able to just love her child and move past this.

   Reply

   • Gina

     at

     Who knows what would have happened if the gorilla wasn’t shot! I love animals more than most but the kid will survive this! Hopefully the mom will too if people learn to stop the negativity!

   • susan

     at

     I agre with the shooting It had to be done you never know what a wild animal may do at anytime. These people must not have children or grandchildren if they did they would not be saying these hateful thing!!!! I am so grateful that child lived though this and hope it will not affect him. I have a four year old and a two year old grandchildren if I take my eye off one of them then the other one is doing something. These people should shut up and thank the Lord that this child is still alive., and think about how they would feel if it happened to someone that they loved .Would they feel the same way then I DONT THINK SO!!! IF THEY DO THEN THEY DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR CHILDREN!!!! JUST SAYING!!!!

   • Rhonda

     at

     People can be hateful and judgment really quick hiding behind a keyboard, but in person they wouldn’t dare speak what they write. Loved the letter. My youngest grandson is 4 and has legs of lightning as I call them, because in a flash he likes to take off running and this could happen to anyone. I pray you find peace within yourself and don’t blame yourself. When a child us determined to do something they are going to do it no matter the consequences. It is how they learn. Sometimes the results are devastating, but we do the best we can and unfortunately we don’t have enough arms on us to restrain a child from exploring their environment. May God be with your family and you find the strength to hold your head high and be the mother you are.

   • Misty

     at

     I agree totally! To think some people would rather take the chance to see if the Gorilla would in fact protect or kill this child is baffling to me! A child’s life is far more important! No one is perfect! Being a mother is not a easy task when u have small children! I agree that the zoo should make sure all avenues are covered when it comes to children having access to any animal!

4. Kali Burgos

   at

   My kids NEVER left my side at that age!! They were ALWAYS holding my hand!! I ALWAYS made sure they were by my side in the mall, aft the zoo, in the park, etc.

   Reply

   • Sharon Ganzhorn

     at

     I didn’t want to say anything, because it seems that most of the women on this thread lose their children. But I never once lost mine. Ever. My eyes stayed on her at all times in public places. I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’m just saying I never for a single instance lost my child. Not even for a “split second.” I’m hoping that this incident will help remind parents to watch their children a little better. And I do not blame the zoo in any way. Apparently that enclosure has been there for decades and nobody has ever made their way inside of it before. I understand there were 4 levels of barricades and it must have take more than a “split second” for the child to get in there. I am sure this was not an intentional thing on the part of the mother. I’m sure she wishes she had kept her eyes on the child. I’m sure she feels terribly, but nor is it the zoo’s fault.

   • midg

     at

     Well we are so glad you are so perfect and that you’ve never made a parenting mistake! It is such a blessed life to be the image of perfection. But while the rest of us are human and have made mistakes… some serious, some were not… 985 of us are far from perfection. The mother made a mistake… almost a serious one. But it could have happened to me or any one else. It could have been a grandparent or an aunt. The mother stated the child’s hand was in her back pocket… the next second he was gone and through the crowd she couldn’t find him. How easy that could have happened with me and one of my three little ones! Thankfully the child was saved… that is what matters here. Not the animal. Call Peta on me if you will. I do not believe an animals life is more important than a child’s.

   • Lisa

     at

     Well good for you. Want a cookie?

   • grace manard

     at

     Really,,,how did you wipe your butt…my child slid under the bathroom stall in about 2 seconds…while I was wiping mine..And thought I was pretty good at keeping them with me ..Thank God he was not big enought to open the bathroom door or who knows where in Kmart he would have gone…..When my grandchildren came along I took them to Kings Island and I put the littlest on a saftey leach because I knew if he got away I would never be able to catch up with him…People use them to protect the dogs, so I think as much of my grandchildren as they do their dogs…Do what you have to do…It only takes a second for something to happen….

   • Kathy Vestigo

     at

     Maybe you are perfect and never make mistakes, but you weren’t there. You don’t know the situation or anything that was going on. Don’t be judge and jury.

   • Smart@ss

     at

     Congrats. How ever did you manage to never have to hold anything else? I have to assume you only have/had one small child or you would know how impossible it is to hold the hands of 2 toddlers every moment outside of your home.

   • Hannnah

     at

     You are the RARE exception.

   • Rachael

     at

     Then have the grace to understand that your children were not the norm. So many people don’t understand things that didn’t happen to them. But that is short sighted. Everyone is capable of putting themselves in another’s shoes. So please understand that pretty much every child at this age is wiggly, and curious and has a tendency to run through people’s legs before you can grab their little arm. Unfortunately this time it happened at a zoo where a little boy was able to get in and play with a fun ape. At least from his perspective.

   • Milo

     at

     First let me say I am glad the child will recover. I am a mother of a flight risk child. Maybe this child was not a flight risk but witnesses say they heard they child say several times that he wanted to get into the water. As a mom, flight risk child or not, his hand would have never left mine and we would have left the exhibit.

   • Ellen Schipper

     at

     I agree. Come down to your child’s age and understand what he could and probably will do. My child is too precious to me I hang onto to him. Especially when you have a smart and inquisitive child.!

   • Penelope

     at

     Always and Never. I find that difficult to believe.

   • Michael

     at

     Glad you took this tragedy as an opportunity to tell everyone how much better a parent you are than that other woman?

   • Sherry

     at

     Well I am glad you’re so perfect. My guess is you never had a strong willed child. AS A mother of 3, I had two that stayed right by my side and another that saw the world as her own, to run off and discover at anytime (actually thought of getting her a harness. Better safe than sorry). I believe my daughter had an angel on her shoulder to help us out. Glad this child is ok and Momma that’s all you need to think about through this.

   • Melissa

     at

     How many kids do you have??? Lord knows you only have 2 kids.

   • Melissa Fitchpatrick

     at

     How many kids do you have??? Lord knows you only have 2 hands….

   • Deanna Rempel

     at

     You either had a very compliant child or your hand was crazy glued to his. Nobody has the right to be this judgemental.

   • Janet

     at

     Well, that’s wonderful, congratulations on being a perfect mother. Some of us have faults, we really envy you.

   • Shana

     at

     Aaaand you’ve missed the whole point of this letter… move along sanctimommy…

   • Tanya

     at

     Always? They never let go of your hand as you looked through clothes racks, bagged produce, unpacked lunch at the zoo. Get off your high horse, it could have happened to you, you just got lucky that it didn’t. We all are lucky, because none of us are perfect

   • Yvonne

     at

     I doubt that. Unless you only had one kid, I truly doubt that your attention was in them every blasted second of their childhood.

   • Sandra

     at

     Kudos to you….I feel the exact same way.

   • Carla

     at

     Wow, you are one amazing woman. Able to tie your shoes while holding your child’s hand, able to open your purse, find your wallet, count out change and pay for an item with one hand. You must also be able to bag your groceries in a grocery store, place them in a cart, again pay for your items … with one hand. Your child is very very lucky to have such an amazing multi-tasker as a mother. One who has never ever made a mistake. Congratulations on being awesome. I’m sorry though, I call bullshit.

     I have four children and love them all dearly. I have made many mistakes as a parent. I will continue to make mistakes because I am human.

   • Dawn

     at

     Absolutely!!!! I have three and mine have never wondered off and never left my sight!!!

   • Ruth Seyffert

     at

     my son scared me to death at that age when he disappeared in a split second in the mall. in the end he was just hiding in the clothes rack only a few inches away but I did not know that for a few minutes of panic

   • cczz

     at

     Until the day that you have to use a public restroom and even though they are inside the stall with you, one goes under the door and you can’t catch him fast enough–sitting on the toilet and all–or maybe you are wiping the other child at that moment. Off the child goes– but you are after him and someone catches him before he even leaves the bathroom. Problem averted, child reprimanded and life goes on. I think you cannot have EVER had your 4 year olds holding your hand every single second you were away from home. You can just say that because nothing happened to you and your kids. A zoo for families with young kids and 400 pound gorillas should have enclosures that keep people out and gorillas in.

   • Aprille

     at

     Well aren’t you a perfect, special little dew drop. Congratulations on being, literally the ONLY perfect parent ever. Lucky you.

   • Mom of 3

     at

     Congratulations….hopefully you have your trophy displayed proudly in your house for being a perfect parent. What would happen if you would have 3 kids??? Only 2 hands! Ut oh you wouldn’t have been able to leave the house! So easy to judge people when it is not you it is happening to.

   • Sam

     at

     I cannot believe that you never let go of a hand to pay for something or turned your head at a noise coming from behind you while your kids would play at the park. It happens to the best of us!! Give this poor mother a break for goodness sake. Children will be children. They love to wonder and get into everything. Even the most perfect mother will have an accident happen at a time of a child’s young life.

   • Deanna

     at

     Wow, it’s a good thing you were such a perfect parent. Good job.

   • Jackie

     at

     Thats well and good, but just because your kid is happy to hold hands, doesnt mean the rest of ours are. My girls were always fine standing and holding hands, my son squirms out of everything- screams in the stroller- and climbs out of the wagon. Ive put those harnesses on him and endured a 20 min lecture as to how thats treating him as an animal. My point- EVERY child is different. Most every mom does her best. There is not one good way and another bad way. I should hope that in your failings as a mom- and we all have them- there arent THOUSANDS of other moms screaming hateful things at you. Judging you. Making you feel worse than you already do. Bullies. Yall are bullies.

   • Msue

     at

     Consider yourself lucky! It happens, and it doesn’t make you a bad parent.

   • Sandy

     at

     Wow, you must be so proud of yourself!

   • Claudia

     at

     I doubt that is true. You just don’t remember. My children are now 35 and 37. Each have 2 children. My grandchildren are aged 3 yrs, 19 months, 6 months & newborn. Sometimes I see my grandchildren or my children parenting in ways I think “I never allowed that or I never did that.” Then one day I realized kids are kids & even tho I raised my children, their parents, to be highly educated, professional, outstanding people who are excellent parents, I am sure I just can’t remember some of the things they did as kids and when I wasn’t the perfect parent. Age 62 & going strong.

   • Jenny

     at

     Well, it sounds like your a perfect parent….. good job!! For you to say this is ridiculous, my mom always held my hand and had me right next to her if she had to let go for a quick min (which will happen to any parent at some point) .. but that didn’t stop me from trying to explore more things as children do. So when i had 5 seconds to play hide and seek in A clothing rack and scared my mom half to death, i am pretty sure no one blamed her for being a bad mother who didn’t watch her child!

   • Daniell

     at

     So glad that you are one of the perfect ones out there. Have a blessed day and my God think you are as perfect as you think you are.

   • Lorilanez

     at

     And he was with her but for a split second. It happens to all parents.

   • Lori

     at

     …and the perfect parent award goes to…..

   • Jane

     at

     I’d love to use the word ‘always’ but I did have my daughter slip away from me in the mall she was holding my hand and then she was gone under the clothes racks and I could not find her. Got help from people in the store we were all looking for her and she was found outside sitting on the curb. That’s right my 3 (almost 4) year old walked outside.

     A mother noticed her and brought her inside, thankfully. Then followed me to my car and called the police for child abandonment. I already felt like the worst mother in the world but she managed to make the situation worse.

     A bad parent wouldn’t care if their child was suddenly missing… good parents freak out. I’d say I’m so grateful that you ALWAYS made sure your kids were by your side but really you were just lucky that one didn’t slip away.

   • Holly

     at

     Well you’re 1-of-a-kind. You didn’t gain any compassion from reading this article?

   • Lori

     at

     So glad you were the perfect parent, but still it is far from you to be the judge!!

   • Lori

     at

     So you where pefect.Had you turned or let go of your children for a moment and this happened to you .you would choose the life of the gorilla over your child 2. It was a shame for the any minute that gorilla could have killed that child. Tranquilizer would not work it will only infuriate the gorilla, and he would have taken it out on the child. Then how would you have felt the child would have been dead. Instead of the gorilla.

   • Lori

     at

     Nobody is that perfect because kids are curious about everything and wonder off at one point or another. The world would be in much more of a better place if people weren’t as judgmental!

   • Tina

     at

     Every child is different Kali. My oldest was head strong. To give you an example at 2 1/2 I had him in a stroller at Columbus Zoo and I had my middle son at the time strapped to me in a holder. I turned for a second and here he goes taking off walking in the stroller. My husband took a picture to prove to people how he did stuff. Things happen.

   • Patrice

     at

     I’m happy for you that you never felt the awful feeling of losing a child.

   • Donna

     at

     Well that’s awesome but accidents happen.
     That’s why they called ACCIDENTS
     I’m sure there’s been a time where you had to say…. (Your child’s name) where are you?
     I’m sure you have made mistakes as a mother at one time or another

   • kathy

     at

     I am so sorry that you haven’t experienced that moment when, even having child hold your hand, that the boy or girl, doesn’t just struggle and pull away and take off..and in a mere moment that child was in the street…maybe if this had happened to you, you wouldn’t be so judgemental to this Mom…possibly I am doing the same thing to you, but this really was so unbelievable that you always are holding your child’s hand and always made sure they were by your side in the mall, at the zoo. in the park, etc…how does a child have any fun if you are holding their hands at ALL Times…enough said…

   • Debra

     at

     Same here. I was always in touch with my kids. If they were at the barrier so was I. No reason to let your child run and not keep track of them. Bottom line, it would not have happened if she was watching her child. All the other actions happened because she was not watching her child.

   • Chris Fawkes

     at

     Kali – you have just poked a bear. The minute you make absolute statements like that fate comes along and makes you eat your words. I pray to God you never lose your grandchild….

   • Jayde

     at

     You are a fortunate mom to have not had to experience the truth that children can escape & even get hurt WHILE WE ARE WATCHING! Nobody is perfect & nobody can be certain that their child will never get hurt. You weren’t perfect … but you were fortunate

   • Sabrina

     at

     Then you’ve managed to be perfect and have not failed were most of us have. I congratulate you on being the best parent. I love my mother, she would die for me, and I respect her more than any person in the world, and she lost me. She was devastated . She was not as great as you apparently, but she was great to me. Mistakes happen, accidents happen… People die, and in this case sadly a wonderful animal died because of an accident. No one meant for him to killed. Life is full of horrible things, the best we can do is try to be understanding and kind to one another.

   • Joy

     at

     So you’ve never let go of a hand to get your wallet out, to go to the bathroom, to carry food to a table? It literally takes a second for a curious small child to slip out of sight. There is no such thing as a perfect parent or child. And unrealistic statements such as these do nothing but help create the hateful mob mentaliry.

   • TJ

     at

     So you only had a max of 2 children around that age at the same time and never had to eat or drink or hold any bags whilst out with the two of them?? Kudos to you for the perfect environment for the perfect children and of course for being the perfect parent. Sorry, but some of us live in the real world and I for one am disgusted at the negativity and finger pointing that is going on around this situation.

   • Kenny O

     at

     I’m sure you have failed at many other things in your life that the rest of us have perfected. That’s what makes us so great, we aren’t all the same. Anyone with multiple kids knows that it takes one second! You can’t always be holding their hand. Obviously you have never had a kid blow crap out their diaper all the way up their back while sitting in a car seat or stroller. I’d like to see you hold your second child or third child’s hand and clean up that situation. It takes one second, and they can slip away. Doesn’t make you a bad parent. Kids are explorers by nature, they will always slip away at one point.

   • Mother of 2

     at

     Kudos to you . May your perfect record continue and may you never be subjected to the terror ( even momentarily ) that the majority of parents have experienced while we were parenting to the very best of our ability at the time and in the circumstance, and the child still slipped away.

   • amy smith

     at

     exactly! never let your children out of site at this age for sure. even if that means leashes.

   • Barclay

     at

     Amen!!! Thanks for saying this. My son is 9 and even now when we visit any place that poses hazards (almost everywhere), my full attention is on my son. That is MY responsibility. At 3 years old he wouldn’t have left my side. All these parents who admit to “losing” their child, evenly momentarily, are irresponsible.

   • Barbara Humphrey

     at

     Exactly you are amongst one of he Mother’s who were lucky. Yes harnessing your child would have been great but not everyone does. I am a mother of two boys ages 2 &4 ai say that putting a harness on your children is best I still haven’t done it. This mother is not to blame here. I only takes a second to look the other way and the child could be gone, an FM the Zoo should have had a more secure exhibit and none of this would have happened. So remember we are all human here and we all are not perfect no matter who you are. I believe that even the queen of England has made a mistake here and there with her children. So haters move on with your life. To the mother of the boy God Bless you and your family.

   • Jennifer

     at

     The fact that the boy said he was going to go swimming with the gorillas, per witnesses on the news, should of made her not take her eyes off him or move to another exhibit! For that, I feel she is to blame!

   • Janet

     at

     Yes kids were always holding my hand or in a carriage but a innocent animal died why that animal should not have been there the zoo is 100% at fault

   • Kari

     at

     How does you bragging about your own perfection help this situation for the lesser mortals around you? I’d love to hear from your children about how filled with grace and forgiveness you are.

   • Katrina

     at

     Never is a strong word.

   • Kathy

     at

     You are one lucky mom then. It’s hard to believe that potentially, a person could be holding the hands of numerous young children at one time. It’s a scary world to think that people lack compassion and empathy for another human being. The little boy’s life trumped the gorilla’s. In the smallest chance that your child may sometime in the future slip from your grasp and find themself in eminent danger, I pray people will take the steps to make certain your child’s life matters, and helps him or her to safety.

   • Nancy

     at

     Well written article…thank you Kara for taking the time to write to this for the parent involved and hopefully to open some eyes of the judgmental.

   • Gretchen

     at

     If only we could all be as perfect as you claim to be!

   • Lara

     at

     Perfect parent award goes too.. I’m sorry but your a fool.

   • JoyHony

     at

     My brothef-in-law and I were walking with our kids, ages 3 and 4 at the time. They ran a little ahead of us, but we didn’t think too much of it, because they were good kids who always listened. They decided to cross the street without us. We yelled and ran, but those kids kept going.

     Point is, you can be watching your children like hawks and they can still get away ftom you. Judging this mother because her child got away from her is so wrong and the mob mentality makes me sick.

   • JoyHoney

     at

     My brothef-in-law and I were walking with our kids, ages 3 and 4 at the time. They ran a little ahead of us, but we didn’t think too much of it, because they were good kids who always listened. They decided to cross the street without us. We yelled and ran, but those kids kept going.

     Point is, you can be watching your children like hawks and they can still get away ftom you. Judging this mother because her child got away from her is so wrong and the mob mentality makes me sick.

   • Teresa C

     at

     Grace is something we all need at some point in our lives. People who believe themselves too perfect to fail will one day face a rude awakening; Newsflash…we all fail at some point in our lives. Blame does not heal, it rubs salt in an open wound. I believe God allows those of us who are filled with pride to eventually fall hard to learn to exercise grace toward others. The most gracious people I know are those who have experienced their own failures…at that point, we look at others differently. Nothing is so difficult to bear as someone who places their own perfection before the faces of those who are in the midst of suffering. My heart goes out to this mom and child. They are currently going through suffering that many cannot imagine. Grace, Compassion and Mercy are the tools that God gives to people for the comfort of those who are in the midst of suffering. We were never meant to be the judges of others, but to love and encourage them.

   • Z

     at

     An eyewitness stated the mother let go of the child’s hand to take a photograph with her cell phone. That is the moment when he had opportunity to get away from her.

   • Antoinette

     at

     U must be super mom then…u clearly don’t make mistakes!!

   • Dave Thurman

     at

     Congrats Keli you are the first perfect parent in the history of the world. I’m sure your kids will never lie either, or do anything wrong. I hope someone presents you with a medal of honor…as for the article – excellent. Thank you for a classy, thoughtful handling of this tragic event.

   • Patricia

     at

     Wow you are amazing! What a perfect mother you are. I wish you peace when your humanity shows up.

   • BNAT

     at

     Well my dear you are in the minority. They scoot so fast that it just takes a split second. Must be so nice to be a 100% perfect all the time. And people need to put themselves in this moms place. Would you want to wait and see if this Gorilla was gonna maul your child to death?

   • Another mother

     at

     Lucky you! Appears you are one of
     A kind…. I bet your kids are those kids that never did anything wrong or bad and never tried any of the temptations out in the big old world either….enjoy the bubble lady… But here in the real world the rest of us will find ways to cope with the realities that happen in life.

   • Tamara

     at

     I’m sure you’d like to think that was the case. No parent is perfect and children don’t realise dangers at young ages. I bet if you were being realistic you’d have to agree that you’re a human being parent like the rest of us, with children who have their own minds, and even your kids probably got away from you and had to be called back from time to time, or wriggled their little hands out of yours as they wanted freedom. They probably didn’t always follow that instruction either, just like the rest of us.

   • Kristi

     at

     I wish I was the super mom some of you claim to be! My son did escape at a park when he was 3 and was found at the pond feeding ducks. It was terrifying and embarrassing. I just can’t believe that some of you stand on pedestals of motherhood because you haven’t had a child escape. I certainly hope you don’t have to eat your words someday….maybe not an escape but a failure in some way that would knock you off of your holier than thou pedestal and put you down to reality.

   • Paulette

     at

     I agree on some points Kali with everyone. Some kids can be a handful and yes it is easy for them to slip away. No it is not parents being irresponsible when this does happen. What is irresponsible is not having other parents or supervisors over a group of children. Even daycares have a ratio of how many children per adult. She should have had back up.

   • meg

     at

     Good for you – thank goodness you are perfect – perfect but unwilling to show humility, grace, or mercy.

   • Charity

     at

     You must have only had 2 then.

   • Jessica

     at

     There’s an awful lot of hateful comments here from people defending someone from hateful comments. That enclosure kept hundreds of thousands of visitors out for almost 40 years. I think we are losing site of the fact that accident does not mean free from responsibility and that holding someone to a certain level of responsibility is not the same as saying it was intentional. I only had one kid and yes there were a couple of occasions when there was minimal threat and he was back with me in seconds, never minutes. If the threat increased so did my vigilance though, had he ever indicated to me that he wanted into a gorilla enclosure and I saw him attempting to scale a barricade he would have been plucked off and we would have left the area. It took time and effort him to get as far as he did. I’m not saying we don’t all make mistakes or certainly that this mother deserves the treatment that she is getting, but I think the reaction and push back is as strong as it is because people can’t land on any sort of logical response. She does have responsibility in this. Yes it was a mistake, it was an accident but if you have a car accident and you didn’t intend to hurt anyone you are still at fault, you are still responsible for your actions or lack there of. But come on folks, how does attacking yet another person advance the conversation?

   • Alex

     at

     Aren’t you perfect? I have 3 aging from 5-1 and all of them are fast. Trying doing something by yourself with more than one at a young age. Accidents happen. No one is perfect but your comment just shows that there are people out there who think they are. Leave the mom and the zoo alone. I’m sure that both sides feel bad and don’t anymore people wanting to play the blame game. I’m sorry but when you point your 1 finger at someone there is 4 pointing back at you.

   • Dorothy

     at

     I’m glad you’re a perfect mother. There aren’t many of those out there. I think perhaps you’re an endangered species. If your children are grown and you never lost sight of them even once while they were growing up, you must be super woman. Perhaps you should teach an online class to all us mothers who are so imperfect. Do you still hold your 30 year old’s hand everywhere you go? I hope they’re not married. That could be inconvenient. I say all this to show you how ridiculous you sound. I am the mother of 5 and, yes, I have made plenty of mistakes raising them. I have 2 children who are complete rule followers and have not ventered off. But, my other 3, while good obedient children, have been a little more adventurous. They liked to hide in the clothes racks at Walmart, were curious to see something and didn’t realize they were getting too far away from me, and just liked to play hide and seek. I consider myself a good mother. My oldest is 31 and my youngest is 12. They have survived me being their mother and the older 4 are well adjusted adults who have children of their own. They are great parents-not perfect-but great parents. Please don’t be critical of a mother who has a curious child. Chances are there are areas where your parenting could be improved upon as well.

   • Ray stone

     at

     Good for you. We need more like you. But everyone is not. This is human error. What child has not slipped away from a parents watchful eye and tumbled down the staircase, stumbled or hit their heads on a coffee table? Even the most perfect, well-intending, loving parent has moments such as this. The key here is safety of a human life. The decision to take the gorilla out was a correct one, however a regretful one.

   • Spacemom

     at

     You are putting your experiences above the experiences of someone else. Who are you to judge the parents? Seriously. You may have children who listen and never push boundaries. Others have children who push boundaries. To act as if you’ve never heard of a child stepping away from a parent is disingenuous.

     Listen, a child slipped away from his mother and got into a dangerous situation. We don’t need to drag this family through more hell because some people think they are the be all/end all of parenting.

     Give a little humility and accept that we are all human who make mistakes.

5. Matt

   at

   Wow. In my humble opinion that is really well written. Well done.

   Reply

   • Marie

     at

     Be careful–that pedestal you are standing on is awfully tall. It’s a horrible fall when you place yourself so high above everyone else.

   • Sandra Close

     at

     Very well written and heartfelt. We have all had our kids wander away regardless of how closely we watch them. I’m glad the boy is okay and sad the gorilla had to die but in the end that was the decision the zoo made for the safety of the child. Boo to those who are being nasty and cruel!

   • Jeanne

     at

     Very well said Jessica. I agree with you 1000%. My own opinion on this issue isn’t the importance of human life vs. animal life as so many are turning it into, it’s that this entire incident never should have happened! This parent is responsible for the chain of events that led to this beautiful animals’ untimely death. Period. Not bashing her in any way, but her kid is her responsibility. Parents, Mothers especially, seem to think that a different set of rules applies to them. And for those of you who keep repeating “what if it was your kid”? I ask you, would you put your child in this woman’s care?? She was negligent. These people so vehemently defending this woman and so hell bent on diminishing this gorilla’s life are ridiculous! If the kid died from the fall into the exhibit alone would you still defend her???? Unfortunately I think the Zoo did what they had to do due to this mother’s negligence. It’s tragic and terribly sad.

6. Jennifer Tammy

   at

   Bravo, Kara. I’ve lost my G twice – once in a country where I didn’t speak the language. My normally well-behaved girl got distracted and darted, leaving me scrambling to keep up and for horrifying moments, she was gone.
   None of us are immune to this happening

   Reply

   • shirley zarnick

     at

     I so agree, I had a moment at a park when one of mine wandered away…I was panicking like a crazy woman, thank God we found her in the same spot she had walked away from…my best friend had a son who knew no fear and before you could even turn around he was scaling the high display wall of a dept store, we stood there holding our breaths…do not feel the criticism of others we have all had our moments…just lucky…God Bless, it is no one’s place to judge, forgive yourself and move on, peace be with you…

     Shirley Z

   • Pam lucas

     at

     I agree 110% with you! It happens everyday! No one is immune even if they think they are the perfect parents! I’m sorry for the death of the Gorilla but I’m so glad the child is safe! I have diligently stood up for this mother I just hope they are thankful so much as to not sue the zoo!?! I pray she isn’t some drug head when all the truths come out to the public!

   • adrienne

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     Totally agree

7. Onica (MommyFactor)

   at

   Well said and great points made. This tragic situation can def become a positive force for change and awareness for safety for both animals and children.

   Reply

   • Patrice

     at

     That lady is not nice at all, but she is right about one thing “God help us” with people like her and with everything that happens. We need nice people not judmental thats how this world would change! Gees she scares me even trough the msg would have not like to be infront of her when she watched the news or read ?

8. Tracey Gutierrez

   at

   Thank you, thank you, thank you, for being the voice of reason!!!

   Reply

   • Penelope

     at

     I too am very thankful for a reasonable peaceful response. Best wishes to this family.

   • Denise

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     Amen! I canot fathom the distress this has caused for everyone but mercy, love and forgiveness are what is needed not hate and judgement

   • Antonia's Steiner

     at

     I will leave a comment on the post was only way I can figure out how to do it some reason it won’t let me post . I love this way the animal was protecting the child. They should I use tranquilizers saving endangered species. one if we didn’t have zoos we will not have these problems. 2. Now why are the parents suing the zoo is not their fault is not of animals fault they shouldn’t let money off of it 3 maybe we should close all these really saying was back to the wild where they belong I don’t see the animals necessarily needing cage for human entertainments. Should have 20 feet tall glass up where no one can get into it and to fall in and humans have to kill because of human error I see it as murder. Not saying anything besides free the animals to the natural home is where I belong

9. Cindy

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   Amen and so correct. Thank you for so eloquently stating what so needed to be said.

   Reply

10. Nancy Molina

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    These were my thoughts as well, including questioning the safety of the enclosure. Life can change in an instance. I have literally been right next to my children and grandchildren when they have gotten hurt. I have been sidetracked by phone calls, chores and even leisure activities when my children have gotten into majorly naughty behavior. With a sigh of relief that they weren’t harmed I’ve cleaned up the mess (and the child) and chastised myself for getting so distracted. Am I a bad parent? I certainly don’t think so.

    Reply

    • Jake

      at

      The enclosures are meant to keep animals from getting out, because zoos expect people to teach their children to respect animals, and to stay out. As a kid I got lost at the zoo many times, including the Cincinnati zoo once, but because my mom was proactive in teaching me to be safe, even at age 3 I knew to give wild and domestic animals that I wasn’t familiar with plenty of space. My brother was a leash kid because he didn’t learn those lessons, and he wasn’t harmed in any way by the experience. Do I think this mom deserves threats? No. But she did make a mistake that ended in the death of an endangered animal. She shouldn’t get off scot free, if I were to make a mistake that killed a person, I’d be liable. How is this different?

    • Michael

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      It’s the zoo’s responsibility to make sure all animals and public are safe! As a business when you have an endangered dangerous animal you have to understand not every child that age learns at the same level. A 4 year old should not have been able to access that animal that easy! It was the zoo’s responsibility to protect the animal! People keep saying where was the mom that’s supposed to be watching the kid! I ask where was the zoo that should be watching the animal?

    • Josh

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      It’s different because it’s an animal, a beautiful, endangered animal, but an animal none the less. The life of a human especially a child will always trump that of an animal.

    • Sherry

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      Jake, you just said it, “if I were to kill a person, I’d be liable.” The child in this story, is the person, not the gorilla.

11. Concerned Mother

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    Agreed. This vindictive, judgmental society we live in should work on their empathy skills. I wish they could imagine what that poor mother suffered when she looked up to realize where her child was. I wish they could feel her sorrow over their angry diatribe. This is a tragedy. There is no question of that. But the question is what has society come to that the “everyone must pay” philosophy is stronger than the golden rule?

    Reply

    • Doris

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      I so agree. ..where is the Empathy these days …I am a grandmother of 7 almost 8 ..and 5 of them are hyper excited children when it comes to life around them. They can take off in a sec .even though you are holding their hands. .I’m sorry about the animal but I am grateful God that her little one will be ok…wondering how many haters are parents. If they have tried to put themselves in their shoes

    • Samantha

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      Absolutely.

    • Akg

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      The fact remains that she failed to maintain control over this child and it resulted in the death of a critically endangered species. There is simply NO defense of her, she neglected to proper supervise this child and no golden rule applies here. This was a huge financial loss to the zoo as well as the adverse affect of those that had to make the decision to shoot him. This could have been avoided had she either held his hand, put him in a stroller, or made sure he was attached to her in some other way. Such a simple thing to do.

    • Pam

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      True

    • Brad

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      I believe this is probably the most known occurrence of this boy misbehaving. But not the only one.

      Whatever happened to discipline?

12. Beverly

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    I think animals should be left in their natural habitat. Zoos are cruel in the sense that they are NOT the natural habitat. If we didn’t have zoos, the child would be fine and the animal as well.

    Reply

    • Cristine

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      Yes, sanctuary’s are the best answer to save endangered species, we humans DO NOT NEED to go stare at them daily..We dont need zoo’s nor do the animals need zoos to survive. There is enough land in many countries to have a safe, livable, and perfect spot for these animals to survive.

    • Gene Trahan

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      Here we go with a PETA like person saying we should not have zoos, we should not have animals in the circus, blah blah blah…..I am sure as a child you were a frequent visitor to the zoo. Zoos hold a responsibility in caring for and even breeding endangered animals to help repopulate their species. They are not harmed, and receive the best medical care provided. If animals were left to defend for themselves, Elephants, Rhinoceros, and many other animals would now be extinct due to poaching, and trophy hunting. So as far as PETA goes, I look at it this way…..People Eating Tasty Animals…..God put animals on this earth for food supply. Go find something else to ban and leave this lady alone. She has gone through enough.

    • Lorraine

      at

      Exactly! the gorilla did not choose to be there. He is imprisoned. This is an excellent reason for all zoos and Seaworld to be shut dowm. Zoos are there for human amusemen only, others say they are protecting endangered species – from what? humans?

    • Lori

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      I undersand your point regarding animals being in their natural habitats, however, there wouldn’t be any of these (already endangered) species left due to the abundance of poaching.
      Zoos are a great way to save animals as well as great tools for teaching. Who doesn’t remember going to the zoo as a child?
      This is just so tragic.

    • Patrice

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      You are correct 100 %

    • Kathy

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      My thoughts exactly! Zoos, as well as circuses are cruel and unnecessary, both should be banned and stopped immediately!

    • Bob

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      Where do you think the money comes from for these sanctuaries? Zoo’s serve as an anti-out of sight out of mind kind of thing. Most endangered species of other countries would be extinct today if it weren’t for zoo’s. Most people don’t care about what they can’t see. Zoo’s are necessary.

    • Patrice

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      Agree

    • Kyle

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      If we didn’t have the zoo’s, we most likely wouldn’t have many of the animals we have left. By studying animals, we can learn how to protect them and learn from them as well. Many great things now take place all over the world because of the fantastic zoo’s around the world.

    • Sabrina

      at

      He was born in captivity because he is endangered. They are trying to rebuild the population of gorillas. He wasn’t taken out of his habitat. They are trying to keep them in existence. People should be upset with the humans that poach / hunt these animals which caused them to go extinct in the first place.

    • Graeme Hills

      at

      Gorillas are endangered in their natural habitat, so, no animals are not necessarily safer in their natural habitat and Harambe would not necessarily be fine in fact he may already have been poached. 17 years ago gorillas had a poor chance of survival. It’s only a little better now.

      Zoos are a mechanism to show people the natural wonders that we are destroying. And zoos are some of the leading organisations fighting animal cruelty, exploitation, habitat destruction. They also lead breeding programmes and have associated organisations that release animals into the wild and rehabilitate habitat.

      Sure the zoo needs to ensure its not possible for curious kids to find their way into animal enclosures but I expect the gorilla enclosure was built to safety specifications so no blame there. The mum is no different to anyone else and was doing her best. Many people have lost toddlers in similar circumstances, back yard pools, local rivers, usually trying to show the it child a good time and educate them at the same time. So no blame there.

      The shooting of the gorilla is sad, but I can’t see any alternative. If they had tranquilised the gorilla and the boy was subsequently killed. The zoo would have been found negligent, especially if the approved procedure was to shoot, and it was ignored. So no blame there.

      It was an unfortunate set of occurrences that led to a sad death, and I’m sure everyone will go through personal and work practice reviews, and there may be changes.

      But the worst damage of all has been done by the opiniated hateful public who have damaged this woman’s already damaged life, with their nasty vicious cowardly commentary hurled at this mother, while they are hidden away behind social media.

13. Mary

    at

    The zoo was not safe for the animal their job was to protect the gorillas which they failed to do as a mother I know children tend to do things they set their mind out to do we try to keep them safe but at times we can’t so mother take your baby in your arms and rest easy knowing he’s safe

    Reply

14. carl

    at

    could they havea thrown net over the animal to hold him down till they got the child out?

    Reply

    • Kara Carrero

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      I was thinking about that. I mean, it would also be risky since they could miss or they could get the child too. But I don’t know!

    • Dean

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      Do you actually think a net would hold a 400 lb gorilla and not piss him off?

    • Sheila Davis

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      At what point did they make the call that it was safe to shoot a gun at the gorilla that was holding the child?

15. Sherry

    at

    Finally a voice of reason…

    Reply

16. Cheryl

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    Love this! I’ve had people go at me for saying the same thing. Great article and good for you for standing up for someone that not many are. 🙂 You are a strong woman!

    Reply

    • Michelle

      at

      I say good on this mum for her letter and to the mum of the child i understand especially since i have a special needs child and of all people being special needs childs mum or not my children.have slipped my grip and taken off this poor mother is not to blame

17. Sara Barker

    at

    As a mom who has raised 5 kids, an never lost one, I cannot understand how this happened.
    I’m not putting the blame 100% on the mom, i see kids running around unsupervised everywhere i go, she does own part of the blame, but I believed the burden of safety is on the zoo. How was a three year old able to get into the enclosure? That I think is the real question. If a three year old can breech the enclosure, so could a crazy person or someone who is suicidal. Lastly was killing the animal really necessary? I mean, why could he be tranquilized?
    None of it makes any sense to me.

    Reply

    • Angela England

      at

      I also have five kids – yours are more complacent than mine! LOL!! I hope your children have as complacent and easy-to-track kids as you had. For their sake. It would feel awful to be judged so by your own mother.

      My understanding is she put the child’s hand in her back pocket and told him to stay there while she took a photo. And in that 45-60 seconds she was taking a photograph he let go and flopped over the fence. She was searching for him in the crowd but he wasn’t there. So scary.

    • Theresa Hernandez

      at

      Sara – you are an exception to the rule. As the mother of three, I have had all three of mine run off on me at one time or another. As the mother of twins, I can tell you they absolutely orchestrated it on occasion. Divide and conquer. I think somewhere near 99.9% of mother CAN understand how a child slipped away. Heck, it happened to me at a crowded fair where I was holding two small hands and carefully watching my older child. Except one of the small hands wasn’t even my child!

      That said, there is no way the child should have been able to breach the enclosure. That was poor design. I will agree with you on that.

    • Natalie Heyward

      at

      I an very thankful for you that none of your children has been lost, I am only the humble mother of two, two girls 3 and nearly 2. My 3yo will disappear at the drop of a hat, she will hide behind/under/in anything as I turn to pick up items in supermarkets, she will vanish into clothes rails while I check on her sister in the buggy momentarily.

      Its fair to say that it is so easily done, and I find comments such as ‘I’ve had X children and never lost one for a second a bit judgy.’ Well done, but remember you might just have been very lucky, it only ever takes a second

    • Michelle

      at

      Natalie, I agree. I’ve raised 4 and my 4 step kids came later in life. I had one run off at Disneyworld. If a kid wants to get away, they will. Rather than judge another be grateful you never experienced it yourself.

    • D

      at

      I have never lost my child but because i wasnt fast enough hes been injured just in everyday play. He’s even sprinted out into a small parking lot before and thankfully no cars were in motion. Please don’t tell everyone you raised 5 children and never lost one without any back round information on the circumstances in which they were in at those social situations. Maybe you never took them to the zoo or the mall or a fair. Keeping them from what can be social nightmares is an easy way not to lose a child wouldn’t you agree? Maybe you threatened your children with punishment if they didn’t stand at your side every second? At that point im sure they didnt have much fun being tied to their parent. It’s always easy to tell everyone how good you are but it takes more courage to admit when you’ve made a mistake. So I’m giving you that opportunity and let’s see if your courageous enough to do so.

    • Megan

      at

      Tranquilizers take up to 10 minutes to take effect on an animal of that size. I believe they were afraid that if they shot him with a tranquilizer that it would enrage him and the child would definitely get hurt or killed. It’s not like what we see on TV where the animal falls the second the dart hits them, that’s just the magic of tv.

    • Lynn

      at

      We all wish that death to the animal could have been avoided. However, tranquilizers (if they had emergency doses available) still take awhile to take affect and they likely could not risk the animal reacting to the dart and doing more damage to the child.

    • Tricia J

      at

      I used to work for a veterinarian, and helped put many friendly adorable dogs and cats under anesthesia…and we never could predict how they would react to the onset of unconsciousness. Some animals simply fall asleep, while others, even the gentlest, sweetest ones, become incredibly aggressive, because the feel of sedation is frightening to them and they feel the need to defend themselves. I am very sad that the gorilla was killed, but I do not blame the zookeepers for making that decision. Ultimately, regardless of who was to blame for the whole situation, the child’s safety was more important than the gorilla’s life.

      Think of it this way. If there were both a dog and a child on a rail road track, and you could only rescue one of them, which would you choose? I would choose the child – and mourn the dog I could not save. This was that kind of situation.

      The gorilla did nothing wrong – and he paid the price for human error – the child’s decision to do something he likely knew was wrong, the parent’s distraction, and the zoo’s failure to provide child-proof fencing around their enclosures.

      That doesn’t mean that the decision to kill the gorilla was wrong. It feels unfair, and is heartbreaking – but it was not the wrong decision to make.

    • Laura

      at

      I also have five children. Two of them are 13 mths apart. While the younger of those is pretty well attached to me wherever we go, her sister is the very opposite and extremely fast for a three year old! I have done well not to lose any of my children for more than a few seconds in public places and the ones that I have thus far were my older girls (now 14 & 10) that were distracted with items at a store or something. However I have lost my two year old in my own home! (She was hiding and was very quiet) and despite knowing she couldn’t have gotten out of the house, I still panicked. On the other hand, there have been MANY occasions where one of my children have gotten hurt, taken off causing me to frantically chase and grab them or grabbed something they shouldn’t have such as a bottle of floor cleaner I set down long enough to turn the faucet off. Accidents happen!! I’m a stay at home now. My job is my kids and I take it VERY seriously. Things do happen though no matter how hard you try to prevent it. Did this mom fail to keep her child right beside her? Yes. But I fail on a regular basis to keep my children from doing the many things that could/does cause them to get hurt. All parents have a moment of “failure” whether they choose to admit it or not. Because we’re all flawed human beings that make mistakes. No one knows how diligently this woman may have parented her child every day for all the years of his life leading up to this moment. This could have quite easily been the first “mistake” she’s made as a mother and she’s being crucified for it! Somewhere once it was said “Let he without sin cast the first stone”, but I won’t go down that road with you. I will say instead that if there is such a thing as a perfect parent out there that has reason to make such hateful remarks about this woman, maybe they could give the rest of the world some lessons on parenting rather than waste their exemplary powers on trivial things like trash talk about a mother that made a mistake that will haunt her forever. Zoos ( however inhumane as they may be) are intended for families to visit such enclosures as this. So why is the focus not on the fact that a child was able to penetrate this exhibit when it should have been impassable?! Let’s focus on ways to prevent these situations by being proactive in light of this tragedy rather than looking for fault or casting judgement. This was a horrible accident that resulted in a sad tragedy. It’s as simple as that.

    • Deb

      at

      I believe that the the zoo keeper put the child in danger by shooting the animal they could have easily missed their target and got the the little boy just a food for thought I’m happy the child is safe and saddened for the apr

    • Heather

      at

      Tranquilizing an animal takes time. Jack Hannah, who we all know, said the look on the gorilla’s face was that of aggression, not protection, which is what is being touted as a reason killing him was wrong. The gorilla was prepared to fight keep his trophy/find/prey. Hannah also made the point that once the animal was hit with the dart, he would have him be berserk. He would have been angry, confused, and destroyed anything in his path during his fight or flight response to the pain the dart. Then there are variables: what if they missed, it wasn’t enough medicine to stop him, etc. I believe that the right call was made because the what ifs were too numerous and dangerous.

18. Patricia Palo

    at

    Kara you have stated this so very well. In fact excellently. I agree completely with everything you have put in your comment. Thank you.

    Reply

19. Gregory Brefeld

    at

    Wow, after reading this I am so very sorry for being on the other side of this story. Feeling so much hatred against a person who made a mistake I or any other parent could have easily made. First off, I would never wish death or any harm to someone who makes a mistake like this. So shame on those for making those threats. I am so sorry for this family and the gorilla. Like the article states though, there are multiple parties at fault. The biggest being the zoo. There should be no possible way a 4 yr old child should ever be able to make it into a zoo enclosure. I couldn’t agree more with that and now am believing after this event every zoo should now take and re-evaluate every enclosure that is built for the animals homed in there parks. Because even though you post signs warning of dangers, we all have to remember what Kara wrote. We are humans and we all make mistakes even if it isn’t one like this. So I want to commend you Kara on posting this and also thank you for making me realize that my point of view was very wrong. I’m sorry for the family again and hope they can get past this hard time.

    Reply

    • donna boley

      at

      your response is awesome. thank you for being honest and recognizing your mistake in feeling bad thoughts or negative thoughts I should say. I pray for peace & comfort for this family.. they have certainly suffered enough!! again, thank you

    • Elaine

      at

      I read that the people that was around this family said the child had been misbehaving for quite some time, and he told the mom that he was going to climb in the gorilla cage! With both the mother and father in attendance, more awareness should have been on that boy. When my children were younger and I took them out in the public, be it the grocery store, church, a school function, the zoo, Disneyland etc., and behaved badly and was told to calm down and stop, they weren’t told a second time. We went to the bathroom and my hand met their little bottom! If they didn’t get the message then, we went home! No child of mine is going to threaten me about they going to do something without my approval and they know N OT to do it!!!

20. APJ

    at

    I can’t understand why everyone feels the need to only bash the MOTHER in this case?? The child does have a father, who was there. How about write dear MOM and DAD?? she is not in this alone. People are so quick to call her out for being s a bad mom. Maybe she was watching other children, while the husband was in charge of the son?

    Reply

    • Kara Carrero

      at

      I wrote to just the mom because the hate filled comments I have seen only address the mom.

    • Amy

      at

      Yes! Thank you! Why is all the hate directed only at the mom?

    • Terry

      at

      I believe gender picking is a little ridiculous and off the important subject. Also, neither one of them made a mistake. It was something that just happened. I love the way some put themselves out there so sanctimoniously in the child rearing department. I will say this, I believe society would be a lot better off if people would mind their own business when they see parents with their child on a harness. Stating it is treating them like animals is absolutely asinine. Putting the life of any animal above that of a child or human is also in the previous stated area of thought. If I saw a dog or any other animal going after a child and I had a gun, I would shoot it in an instant. The management at the Zoo gave a lot of thought on what to do. I personally do not like zoos and believe they are a waste of money.

21. Teri S

    at

    Very well said and looked at from both sides of the situation. If more people were this thoughtful that mama wouldn’t have horrible things said to or about her. I am a mom/now nana who’s almost 3yr old son went for a walk looking for me when his dad should have been watching him and his brothers, who was fortunately found by the police and returned home because he transposed his address and my 911 call came in at the same time. I still live with that sense terror and failure 30 yrs later. No matter what the outside world has to hate say about that mom it’s nothing compared to what she is saying to herself.

    Reply

22. Carrie

    at

    I completely agree with your article and it’s breathtaking to see someone else share my opinions and empathy. I shared your article on FB with this comment:

    Kudos to the author of this article. Having a 5 yr and a 10 mo old quick on the move, I side with this article, that every moment can’t be as perfect as we strive for. Things happen. No matter how hard we try.

    If there is blame to be made, it should be on the zoo, who clearly can’t keep a small child out of an exhibit. With all kinds of family traffic, that should be 2nd to the safety of the animals-the safety of the patrons. Without a doubt a child should never be able to get into a gorilla cage. Bottom line.

    Reply

    • Patrice

      at

      38 years this exhibit has been opened, and NEVER before has this, or anything remotely close, ever happened. I love this zoo and I feel they made the right decision. I am an animal lover and advocate, but a human being will always come before an animal. I don’t care how critically endangered they are. I don’t see why people are saying the gorillas could get out if this child got in….no! I don’t know of gorillas scaling 15 ft concrete walls. I feEl for th ed mother, and this was a horrific incedent, but it is not the zoos fault.

23. Gina

    at

    As a mother of 4…..I can’t imagine how this poor mother felt…I commend her strength for keeping herself so calm because I would have been screaming which probably would have made the whole situation worse…And Thank You Kara you comment was beautifully stated….I don’t think it could have been said any better,very well thought and written…..And I certainly do agree with all of the important points that you made and how you offered some very positive and constructive advice…which I think is wonderful….Be the voice Dear mother of the little boy….so that maybe raising awareness might save a life both children and animals…I am so thankful that your little boy is ok and I too feel saddened that there was a life lost …however its not your fault and to all of the negative and nasty comments from all of those whom feel its their job to judge you…My question to all of them is….How would they have handled it or how they would have wanted to zoo to handle a situation just as yours if it would have been them in your shoes and at that very terrifying moment….In pretty sure they would have felt just as you did….so yes everybody has an opinion, but like Kara so lovely stated try to rise above all of the negative and turn this into a positive so that you and your child can make a difference….Much love and respect to you mom of the little boy and also to you Kara because to rock girl for taking the time to share your beautiful uplifting positive words from your heart….I am sure your comment made this mom feel so much better …thank you for your honesty,thoughtfulness and consideration. …Love all of you moms on here sharing your kind words and the mom with the little boy….love your baby boy and I think we as parents all need to keep our babies a little bit closer as we live in a society that’s crawling with Animals in the form of humans preying on children….stay safe your all beautiful moms much love xoxo

    Reply

    • Mom of 6

      at

      So very well said Gina and Laura (reply from comment above) and all the other mothers who know they are not perfect. As for those parents saying they never took their eyes off their child………… IMPOSSIBLE……….. it is not at all possible. Through all of this crap there is only 1 thing I know for sure, a child is still alive and it should not be possible for any child to get it. My heart breaks for everyone involved, especially the person or persons making the dicision to have to kill the gorilla. Of course it was the right decision, I feel bad that you had to do it, because you obviously had no choice, I see that so does anyone with half a brain. Again there should be no way for a child to enter that area.

24. Gillian McMillin

    at

    After reading Jack Hannas reported expert opinion although terribly tragic he is 100% behind the decision to have saved the life if the little boy by shooting the gorilla . We can not judge . Your article is very loving.

    Reply

25. Roxie Weaver

    at

    Great article. I found the scariest thing on the Internet is the petition on Change.org that wants the mother prosecuted, fined and wants Child Protective Services to investigate her and take her children away – I was horrified by that hatred. Yes, she should have been more vigilant, but this is a witch hunt and scary in the respect that we humans are loosing our common sense and have an attitude of this would never happen to me if I was in her position.

    Reply

26. Brad

    at

    We all have, unfortunately, seen kids running wild. tied to a leash, or left with nothing to do. I am from a large family, my wife from an even larger one. As children, we weren’t angels. But our parents always watched us and would never allow any of us to stray into danger.

    Reply

    • Shel

      at

      So, essentially what you are saying is that your parents are perfect, and immune to having any sort of split second choice on the part of a child turn their lives upside down. That’s impressive… I would love to meet them. (Sense the sarcasm.)

    • Patrice

      at

      amen@@@ well said, there is no excuse for the negligence and yes I am a parent. My son was a strong willed little boy and because I was aware of this my son at a zoo was always restrained either in a harness or buckled into a stroller. No one is perfect , granted… But putting a little boys hand into your pocket is not a good enough restraint, more like none at all.. Yes they should be fined!

27. Ann

    at

    Well said. My first instinct is to question the mother’s watchfulness, only because I see so many unsupervised kids. But the horror of the situation must be overwhelming. And children are so quick.

    I do believe the zoo did what they felt they had to do. They love their animals and would not harm one without good reason. I have to believe they know what to do if necessary.

    Reply

28. Eric Myers

    at

    Kara,
    This is very well written and an eye opening letter. I hope that it does find its way to the mother in this situation and she reaches out to you to let you know she’s read it. I am one of the people that has said that they should’ve shot the parents instead of the gorilla. I do not have children and do not know what she was going through during this ordeal. A friend of mine re-posted this on his timeline, and I made some observations through that. We, as a “superior” race decide it’s OK to confine wild animals to an enclosure that is a fraction of their natural habitat. Most wild animals have a basic instinct of survival, while others have a basic instinct to hunt, etc.. Harambe was probably thankful for his new “toy” that was delivered from above. I’m thankful that the boy suffered only non-life threatening injuries through his ordeal. I also hope that he learned from this, and will never leave his mother’s side again. Growing up, I lived 70 miles outside of DC, and I would go to DC on dates and visit the National Zoo there. It was an inexpensive way to go out, spend the day together, and enjoy each others’ company. Today, my wife and I refuse to go to a zoo (even in Disney World) because of the fact that the habitats, while fairly authentic, are still enclosures designed to keep the animals caged in. I realize that their movies, but since the 1930’s producers and writers have been making movies that show what happens when you try to “cage” animals that are meant to roam free. From King Kong all the way up to and including Jurassic World, we’ve shown it to be disastrous. Yet, we as a race continue to try to contain these animals for our own entertainment. I’ll leave off here by saying that, yes, I do feel remorse for the mother involved in this, yes, I understand it’s difficult to wrangle multiple children on your own, yes, the zoo should have maintained their enclosure better, and, finally, and unfortunately, yes, they probably made the right decision to shoot Harambe. You have a split second to make that call while the animal is thrashing the child around, potentially breaking every bone in his little body.

    Reply

    • Terrie

      at

      Amen!!!! I said the exact same thing. If we as humans didn’t cage these poor animals a lot of the uncalled for deaths or accidents at zoo and circus’s would never happen .. It sickens me to see these poor animals locked up.. They look so sad and depressed.

    • Diane

      at

      I agree with you Eric on many points except for the fact that some animals that are extremely endangered need the exposure to “the masses” to raise awareness to their plight of becoming extinct. I think most activist would agree that the best way to raise awareness is to educate people about what is happening and what they can do to help. So they take their message to the world. I’m not sure that we can say a zoo is smaller than their natural habitat anymore, due to deforestation in their natural habitat and in the rain forests all over the world that is killing our ecosystem. Americans make up one third of the world population but consume70 percent of all resources. That for me as an American is embarrassing. But I do agree when it comes to oceanic wild life in captivity. No argument can be made for captivity of whale, dolphins, etc. Research shows most are too intelligent to thrive in areas that could never come close to their natural environments and it serves no purpose other than tricks and entertainment. Oceans are over fished and polluted with noise that interferes with their sonar, causing them to become disoriented and beach themselves. You’ll never see me at Sea World.
      Education. To learn better ways is the key to living in harmony with other creatures of this world. God bless!

29. John A. Giurin

    at

    Nicely and gently said. Kids can be magicians, disappearing from our midst in the mere blink of an eye. And you are correct, it is so easy to judge from behind a keyboard. It’s also easy to play Keyboard Coach and call the plays from the safety of our nice, comfy chairs. Harambe’s death is sad, perhaps shocking, but we didn’t spend time with him; we aren’t trained zookeepers; we didn’t know what he’s like; the staff caring for Harambe based their decisions on their skills, their experience, what they knew of him. Under pressure, with the life of a child at stake, they made an informed, careful, horribly difficult decision. We can only pray that, as you suggest, Kara, some good will come out of what happened. Good has already taken place in the beautiful way you approached the situation and your kind, loving, respectful words. Thank you.

    Reply

    • Shehnaz

      at

      I am petrified when I take 15 children to the zoo as a teacher. I’m able breathe once I reached the classroom safely. Counting 15 children hundred times is so stressful. I wish every year I’m spared.

    • Janett

      at

      ❤️❤️ I want so bad to comment among these “perfect parents” and all this hate. But I think, not only was Kara’s article perfect, your comment also makes my heart soar. Kindness. Compassion. Empathy. That’s what I see here in Kara and your reply. I know all too well how a kid disappears in a second. And even the haters do too. They just didn’t lose them in a zoo. I hope this woman reads Kara’s article. And thank you for a kind response in this sea of judgment and hate.

30. Ruth

    at

    Very well said!!! I agree with every word. I came very close to losing my child over a cliff , I was right there! I took my eyes off of him for a split second. If not for a stranger saying something , only God knows what could have happened. My heart goes out to all, God bless!!

    Reply

31. Nancy Harris

    at

    Well written and thoughtfully reasoned argument in support of the patents. However, each and every day we all see incidents where parents are more focused on their cellphones than their children. More interested in how they appear to others, rather than administering on the spot corrections for behaviors less than appropriate. I’ve seen parents ignore their children to the point that the child actually uses the aisle in the grocery store as a bathroom. And what did the parent do to address this behavior? Not a darn thing. I’ve seen kids running wild in the store with mini-carts, playing bumper cars with shelves and the back of adults’ legs. Not a peep from the parents. I’ve spoken up to those parents and been soundly cursed. So I can truly understand the ‘leash’ mentality.

    Reply

    • Rebecca

      at

      Even though some felt it was well written, I felt it was more of a way to justify being a distracted parent and somehow put the blame on the Zoo. I am also a Mother of 2 children, I know accidents happen but I also know when I had my children in a dangerous place I kept and even closer eye on them especially after they expressed direct interest in wanting to be down there in the water. Do I think she should get death threats absolutely NOT but do I THINK she should be held accountable for the unnecessary loss of a life Absolutely.

    • Cindy Burgard

      at

      I understand and appreciate your experience seeing parents in a dim light that have not been focused on their children and more distracted by cell phones and other things. Also, I’ll behaved children without one word to correct their behavior. I too have witnesses this. But without knowing the details I’m just puzzled how folks can bash the mother with out knowing the details. People are so quick to judge.

    • Deena

      at

      This is a well written defense for the parents. I understand kids can be a handful but it doesn’t mitigate the fact parents are responsible for their child’s behavior. If your child broke an expensive vase you would have to pay for that vase. This isn’t about a child getting loose in a mall or a grocery store. And unfortunately this is not an expensive vase. This was a gorilla who was classified as an extremely endangered species. I too have seen instances of parents being completely distracted by their cell phone or ignore their kids completely when they’ve misbehaved. It’s maddening. This may or may not be the case. Reports are there has not been a breach at the zoo in 38 years until now. What I am saying is as sad as the whole situation is the parents are still responsible and charges should be filed.

32. Maggie

    at

    I briefly lost track of one of my four children at the same gorilla exhibit just 5 days prior! No cell phone or other distractions to blame, just a lot of kids moving quickly in different directions. This could easily happen to anybody!

    Reply

33. Holly

    at

    Wonderfully written. I know as aa parent who has lost a child at the age of 12, how gut wrenchingly aweful it is and to see your child in such a situation would be horrifying. I mourn the loss of such a beautiful creature but as you said, how is it that a 400 lb. gorilla is in a place that a 3 yr old child can so easily breach? I hope the parents of that child find peace from all of the hatred, things like this happen and we can’t control it we can’t predict it but we can learn from it….from everyone’s side of the glass.

    Reply

34. Bones

    at

    Wild animals are unpredictable; I begrudgingly agree with the call the zoo staff made in shooting the gorilla. Tranquilizer darts are intramuscular so they take time to take effect and it’s very possible that being shot with a tranquilizer dart would have agitated Harambe, thus putting the child in danger. I hate that I have to agree with this judgment call because it could have been avoided if the parents had been more alert, more vigilant.

    The enclosure is designed to keep the animal in, not necessarily to keep people out. As it should be; people who don’t have the sense to stay out of a wild animal’s enclosure shouldn’t be at a zoo, regardless of age. In addition to the parents’ failure to supervise their child, they failed to teach him to respect the sanctity of the animal’s space.

    We rely too much on other people to install safety measures and precautions to keep us safe from harm instead of being self reliant and mindful of ourselves and our surroundings – that is primarily OUR responsibility and no one else’s. And then should something goes wrong it is not one’s own negligence that is to blame because someone needs to point out the danger for you. Pretty disappointing in my opinion. I don’t fault the zoo for anything, they did the best they could in a difficult situation. And while I understand that watching over a child is no easy task, it is absolutely inexcusable that the child slipped away long enough to get himself into such a mess in the first place. Judgment calls should be made, assessments of behavior should be taken into account – this is the responsibility of a parent. If this isn’t the first time the parents have lost track of their child, perhaps a zoo isn’t a good choice for a day trip until the child has enough sense not to climb into an animal enclosure…

    Reply

35. Heather Frenette

    at

    This enclosure has never been breached in 38 previous years. Please do not put this on the zoo. They have a very safe enclosure that only an unsupervised, very strong willed (and if he is that strong willed – he should have been supervised) child could have gotten into. Not to mention he actually told his mother minutes before that he was going in to which she responded no you are not…..instead of holding his hand and making sure he did not go in!

    Reply

    • Kara Carrero

      at

      I am not putting it on the zoo. What I am doing is trying to extend some mercy to the mother after so much hate has been spewed at her.

    • Rebecca

      at

      I agree completely and I’m sadden that people are trying vilify the Zoo and Victimized the mom very sad. It is possible to keep track of your child.

    • SRC

      at

      This enclosure has been around for 38 years, it is obviously not that easy to breach! Or maybe the expectation when it was built was that parents would be responsible for their 4-year-olds, so the enclosure bars will keep out adults but a tiny 4-yr-old can squeeze through. Apparently there was more than one barrier to get through, and this did NOT happen in a “split second”! He took a while to work through the barriers and then he was in with the gorilla for at least 10 minutes. Be aware that people fall at the Grand Canyon every year, do you expect the National Park Service to build a fence around the entire canyon? NO, people are expected to be careful and watch their kids! If you start demanding that every zoo is 100% childproof with no parent watching, they will be unaffordable it would cost so much to fortify them.

    • Leslie

      at

      Thank you! My thoughts exactly.

36. Jenn V

    at

    Thanks for this, Kara. You echoed my own feelings about this very sad situation, which I have also been trying to convey in response to a lot of angry remarks directed at the child’s mother on the NY Times’ Facebook page. Parents are human, and we make mistakes. People momentarily lose track of children all the time, but usually it doesn’t result in such a high-profile tragedy. I’m sure the boy’s mom has learned a lesson (in addition to the zoo, perhaps), and we all need to bear in mind that accidents can truly happen anywhere. I am also heartened to see so many comments in support of your feelings about the story. Of course, many people understand that this could happen so easily, and that the mom was not wilfully neglecting or endangering her child or the gorilla.

    And it is very sad that poor Harambe had to die, but based on my reading of the circumstances, it sounds like using a tranquilizer in that moment could have extended the risk for the boy, or even put him in the way of more harm. From a human-life-protection perspective, zoo officials made the best decision under the circumstances, though it was obviously a gut-wrenching call.

    Reply

37. Taylor

    at

    I personally would’ve jumped after my child. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to him as I watched. I know every parent is different but my child’s life is worth much more than mine.

    Reply

    • Sunnny

      at

      Me too

    • Lori

      at

      An eye witness said the mother and another gentleman did want to jump in but someone convinced her not to do it while calling 911.

    • Pepsi

      at

      Witnesses had to restrain the mother to keep her from jumping into the enclosure after her son when she realized where he was.

38. Miller

    at

    Much needed kindness shown in your words. Agree totally. There is never a time that 100% will agree upon an action taken. Everyone did the best they could, at the given time, with the abilities they were given.

    Reply

39. Wayne

    at

    I seriously hate the fact that the Gorilla had to die but I’d suggest that if anything but lethal action had been taken and the child had lost his life there would be no question that we made the wrong decision in not ensuring his safety above all else. The decision at that moment had to be for the safety of the human child with no risks taken.

    As for Mum’s responsibility and the merciless hate directed at her, I agree with this commentary as long as it doesn’t go as far as to absolve us as parents of the responsibility to look after our children. The fact that we often ‘lose’ our children is less an indication that they can’t be supervised effectively and more an indication that our comfort level with the world around us allows us to be less attentive than we might or ought to be. There are plenty of parents who manage 100% supervision in public without the use of abhorrent doggy style leashes.

    Reply

    • Connie

      at

      i had three toddlers at one time and I did use a leash on occasion.(designed for a child, of course.) Either that or risk losing one in a crowd. Nothing abhorrent about it. My children stayed safe and now are adults, two with young children of their own.

      I feel for this mother. Hopefully through this experience her child will realize the importance of obeying her. What a horrible way to learn a lesson!

    • Krissy

      at

      I have an extremely strong willed little boy who just turned 4. And while he is a 100% supervised and disciplined if we are in a crowded place like a zoo if he is not in a stroller he has a backpack harness on. I used to be so against them (before having children) and thought that the idea was absurd and treating a child like an animal. But with having my little guy I find it to be a blessing. He is at that age where he wants some freedom but he is extremely strong and strong willed and can break away from my hand and even my strong husband’s hand and we all know how fast kids are when they do manage to get away from you. Plus there are far too many sick people in this world who try to lure and prey on children. So as a precaution in busy places if he’s wanting to be able to walk he wears the backpack harness so that I can give him that little bit of freedom but in a way that is safer for him. I am an overprotective mommy (and I’m fine with that) and I know where my child is at all times. My job is to do what I personally think is the safest option for him and we find that to be a good one. And as I said he is disciplined. I’ve seen where people have talked so negatively about backpack harnesses and make comments such as well if the child was disciplined and got a spanking he wouldn’t need one. (To clarify I’ve never had anyone to say that to me personally) Well that is not accurate. My son is spanked when needed but when he puts his strong willed little mind to something a spanking doesn’t always do the trick. My mother who has raised 3 children and has 9 grandchildren used to feel the same way about backpack harnesses being a horrible thing but she was honestly the one who suggested to try with our little guy.

      The fact of the matter is we as parents have to find what works for us and our kiddos in a way that allows them to be as safe as possible and to still learn and grow. To each his own. And not every kid responds or acts the same as another. 🙂

      Just my two cents on those abhorrent doggy style leashes.

40. Sunnny

    at

    Really well written letter. I was completely angry with the parents until I read this letter. The situation just angers me but accidents do happen and we are not perfect. we shouldn’t have to put our children on a leash and hover over them every moment. It just goes to show that no matter how big the wall is there will always be someone to scale it. Unfortunately it was a small child. May we all learn from this.

    Reply

41. De

    at

    I believe this was so very beautifully written. I must admit when I first heard of this I too began to think the worst , however I read many articles on this and after remembering trips to the zoo and many other public areas , yes it can happen to ANYONE even perfect parents. Do NOT judge . I am so happy your child will be ok and don’t blame yourself .

    Reply

42. MARION

    at

    I lost my daughter at a swimming pool,

    (she of course is well and alive)
    but at the time she was 17 months and my son was 6 months.
    The three of us were coming out of the dressing room to meet my husband. I had my son in my arms and just at the moment of handing our son to my husband, our daughter took off and jumped right into the pool, no fear, absolute joy and excitement…
    it all happened so fast and nothing could be done to stop it.

    This was not your fault. This was one of those similar moments…
    love to you from a now new grandmother…
    always, loving mother of two.

    Reply

43. Rebecca Young

    at

    Okay, I have calmed down a bit – and while I am still just sick to my stomach over that gorilla being put down, and while I still think the mother should have been watching him – and how I thought MY kids , nope, never on MY watch…then I remembered. My 40-year-old son has scars on his face from a dog bite that happened when he was barely 4.. Did I always watch him? OF COURSE! Except that particular day, I put him out on that patio with the dog because the owner said the dog was okay with kids. So – while I watched my son religiously most of the time, there was that once. My apologies for judging, even though I never said a word to the mother and have no idea who she is.

    Reply

    • Patrice

      at

      I loved reading your reply. Thank you for being so honest. 🙂

    • Jo

      at

      We do not KNOW if the mother is “at fault” by some great negligence or if it was an instance of that kind of split second distraction that could happen to any of us.

      I have to admit that my first reaction was to totally blame the parent. But then I remembered being at King’s Island on a very hot, crowded day, in line for a lemonade with my 6 year old when a swarm of bees flew in and literally EVERYONE scattered, including my 6 year old! In a nano-second, he was nowhere! I was absolutely panicked. Thankfully, HE found a security person and we we were reconnected pretty quickly.

      The point is that, as Kara said, accidents DO happen. But as others have pointed out, so does gross negligence. In either case, whether gross negligence or a split second accident, the responsibility falls on the parent. PERIOD. NOT the zoo. I”m thankful that the zoo people, although greatly valuing the ape’s life, valued that boy’s life more. They definitely got that right.

44. Kathleen Dunne

    at

    Ma’am I just have one quick question ,have you really looked into the facts and witnesses statements before you wrote this letter?

    Reply

    • Kara Carrero

      at

      I did. And the ultimate point was actually not for the world to read it, but to send it to her. Though the world could use some compassion. So regardless of what the truth is, I believe that everyone deserves kindness, empathy, and mercy. Even if she is held liable in some or any way, she still deserves to know that she is not alone and the hate messages that she should have been shot are not warranted no matter what the details of the true story are.

    • Janet

      at

      As someone who has had personal experience with witnesses who did not see what really happened, I advise you not to take what was said as gospel. Witnesses do not know something bad is going to happen, they don’t see or hear many details that are important, and sometimes they see or hear things that could not have been. And sometimes they lie, for reasons I cannot explain or fathom. So don’t base your opinions solely on what some people say.

    • James

      at

      The facts are this. This was an
      accident! What was done is the only thing that could have been done. Would people stop turning this world upside down !!!

    • star

      at

      Forgiveness should be given but first acceptance ones actions should be acknowledged.

45. Jill

    at

    Yes , the boy’s life had to be saved (tranquilizers take several minutes to work so there wasn’t a choice regarding whether or not to kill the animal..it had to be done because the animal could have taken him out in a single stroke) However, I hope the parents are made to suffer for a long time for their part in the death of that poor creature. Public vilification is the price they must pay for the life of their son – and it’s very small one at that. Ask any parent who has lost a child if they would endure a week or so of public shaming to bring them back. It’s a cake walk in comparison! It seems increasingly common for parents to put responsibility for their children onto other people /organizations – I’m so tired of it!. Take some responsibility people!

    Reply

46. Glenda Petz

    at

    Beautifully written, and with such heartfelt words. It’s too bad that so many are willing to point the finger of blame instead of supporting hurting, aching hearts….and they DO exist….on BOTH sides of the fence!

    Reply

    • Quanita

      at

      I agree but we need to be careful not to think blame and responsibility are the same thing. We can and should take responsibility for our actions but blame doesn’t serve anyone.

47. Lora

    at

    Although you wrote a true heart felt letter to this mommy. I agree people can be very cruel in their keyboards. These kind of people have a lot of anger built up from their own lives. But I have a better suggestion. With the Internet, animal planet, even books. Why not leave the animals in the wild to begin with.

    Reply

    • Kara Carrero

      at

      That would be great, I just don’t think zoos are going anywhere anytime soon. And I know the zoo I went to growing up actually took in a lot of animals that had been injured in the wild.

    • tp

      at

      Because it’s not safe in the wild. Poachers can wipe out an entire species.

    • Kim

      at

      EXACTLY! These people have no compassion and to threaten this Mother is appalling! Until you’re in this position God forbid, walk away from your computer think with the brain God gave you and stop judging. If it were the ones making these horrific nasty comments and threats in this Mothers place they wouldn’t want to see this ignorance and threatening againt them. It’s so easy to throw the stone but my question is Are you FREE of sin to throw it? Thank you Kara for this much needed post to this poor Mom. This whole situation is sad and these negative bored pathetic people just add fuel to the fire. To the Mom in case you see this. God bless you and your child. I pray complete healing for you both physically and emotionally. To the DART at the Cincinnati Zoo, I pray the same peace for you. God bless you all!

    • Pam

      at

      Some of those animals are at the zoo because they were injured. They were rehabbed and for one reason or another could not be released back into their natural surroundings. Some were taken in because their mother was killed and they were to young to survive on their own. Animal born at the zoo stay at the zoo because they never learn to hunt for food, how to defend themselves against predators and other thing they would have been taught/learned if they were born in the wild. Some are in zoos because they are endangered and they are trying to get their numbers back up. If all of the zoos were to close tomorrow and ever animal brought back to the “natural habitat” 95% would probably be dead within a month. If there are animals that can be released back then they should be, no doubt about that. But all can not be and I understand that. Zoos are a great place for children and adults alike to see and learn about animals that they would most likely never be able to see like lions, tigers, chimps, gorillas, bears and so on. What drives me crazy is the one that make animals perform shows for peoples entertainment, like circuses or the killer whale show at Sea World. That is just cruel.

    • Jerry

      at

      I am glad the child got out without life threatening injuries. The problem with animals is there are not a lot of wild places left for them and that land mass is shrinking every day with urban sprawl, world population growth, etc. There are politicians now that actually want to get rid of our protected areas too. Zoos are doing their best to at least slow the extinction rate of these species. There are even a few success stories such as the bald eagle, but many animals are dying off largely because they are losing their habitat.At the rate things are going, I think many of these animals will be extinct from the planet when our kids or grandkids-kids come into this world. Zoos may be gone in 50 years–no animals to occupy them.

48. L McCluer

    at

    Totally spot on with your letter. Jack Habba knows a knacks including lowland gorillas and their way of life.

    Here is an interview with the director of the Miami-Dade zoo, which actually owned the gorilla involved. Read the story and watch the video.

    https://sso.cmgdigital.com/static/server.html?origin=http%3A%2F%2Fm.whio.com%2Fvideos%2Fnews%2Fzoo-expert-backs-decision-to-shoot-gorilla%2FvDqpnq%2F

    Reply

49. Tamara

    at

    Even if it’s an accident you still need to be held accountable for the events the accident caused. Say you made one mistake and ran a red light. Say because of that someone died due to your car slamming into theirs. It was a simple mistake, an accident….that you caused. You would then be held accountable for this relatively simple mistake that everyone has made sometime in their life. People now days don’t take responsibility for their actions and are never held accountable. They’re always looking for someone else to blame. This lady has yet to even make an apology, say sorry or have sympathy for this Gorillas death. It’s absurd.

    Reply

    • Nadine

      at

      How many people stood there and watched the boy climb over the fence. Not one of them stoped him. My kid or not i see it happening i intervene, it is faster to reacted yourself than to notify the parents some times. He gets over bad things will happen period , she would have been thankfull and haramby would be alive . so would you all than stand around and watch someone beat there dog and not intervene . im sorry to the mom for all the ignorant people that didnt stop him as it was clearly stated by a witness she was putting kids in the stroller . one person 2 hands, and it takes a village . i blame innocent bystanders with free hands

50. sylvia ferguson

    at

    dose not matter what people wish to say yes a tragedy indeed but I believe no one and I mean no one can not say in a split second that there child has not wondered off in a carnival, ball game, park , mall does not matter the mother feels guilty I’m sure but what has happened could have been anyone of you there should not have been any way that child could have made it that far so it can happen again bottom line I feel for the mom as you all want to be so cruel its a simple terrible tragedy that could happen to anyone of us and yes I have raised many children

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51. Alice

    at

    We are all entering statement, opinions but the fact is. The child could have been in a very life threatening position and the Zoo employees had to make a split second decision . If it were my child I would say save my child. The darts shot into an gorilla would take up to one half hour to take him down and he would have become very aggressive . Please don’t hate the messenger . People who have witnessed tranquilizer shots into gorillas have stated the facts and agree , the choice was right. Now as for the parents, not going to rip them apart , but let’s make this a lesson well learned. These are caged wild creatures and should be respected as such. Visit if you must, but do use caution and protect the children from themselves, and never let it happen again

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52. Ann

    at

    I’m sorry, I do not agree. This mother was distracted with other children and had not been paying attention to her kid who kept screaming “I want to go in the moat, I want to go in the moat.” He had to crawl then climb over several barricades. It took more than a few seconds. This boy was unsupervised for close to TEN MINUTES. You are right in that no one is perfect. But in today’s society, everyone wants to coddle parents and no one wants to accept responsibility for their actions. That’s our problem. “It’s not her fault, it’s the zoo’s fault.” NO. The zoo isn’t being given money for admission to act as your personal babysitter. If you can’t handle your children, don’t bring them. Parents expect teachers to raise their kids, but don’t want that responsibility and that’s a problem we face. Coddling. This creature, endangered mind you, was killed because of the negligence of a parent. She feels zero remorse. In time, she will forget this creature but she has her precious son. I don’t understand why the zoo didn’t have an evacuation plan in place once this unmonitored child gained access. Removing patrons and attending to the situation would have been a better option than having the Sheriff’s dept called to shoot this innocent creature. The animal was not at fault. He was in his own habitat minding his own business, yet he was taken from this world because of a human who wasn’t paying attention? Animals become extinct because of humans and they feel an animals life isn’t worth the same respect. Yet, ignorant humans still procreate and overpopulate this world. One day we’ll all be extinct and it’ll be or own fault.

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    • liz c.

      at

      be careful when you call procreating and continuing to populate the world ignorance. God has never revoked His commandment to multiply and replenish the earth, and if you think procreation needs to stop or slow down, you do not understand the purpose of this life. i love animals very much, but the child trumps in this situation, and the mother / father made a mistake / an accident occured. we all make mistakes. we all have imperfections and struggles. just because some people are better at some things than others, doesn’t mean they should judge, because they have plenty of other faults. and we do the best we can. it’s not like the parents did this on purpose. err on the side of mercy instead of condemnation like you would hope another would do in your case.

53. Nancy

    at

    AMEN !!! People love to judge like they’ve never made a mistake…. GET REAL PEOPLE YOU NOT PERFECT EITHER….

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54. Erin

    at

    I hear what you are trying to say. However, at the same time you are accusing everyone of “fingerpointing from behind their keyboards” you’ve done the exact same thing by blaming the zoo and the zookeepers.
    Yes, children can be difficult at times. But I have worked in pediatrics for 20 years and have seen parents handle multiple children with ease with consistent rules and discipline as well as watching my sister handle her four children which includes a set of triplets (who I happily take for weeks at a time) on fun outings.
    If someone feels that the reason that they were unable to care for the saftey of one child was because they were handling other children, they shouldn’t take trips out with aso many at a time. I mean that with no malice. I mean that honestly, with the safety and care of those children and others around them (human or not) in mind.
    I am 100% thankful that this child is okay but this entire situation could have been avoided .

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55. Kristin

    at

    I do agree that hateful comments and threats do nothing to better this tragedy. However, I do not agree with those who want to place blame on the zoo. When a child runs into a street and gets hit by a car, no one blames the design of the street. There is an inherent understanding in our society that parents will provide supervision of children too young to look after themselves. This enclosure had provided adequate protection of both the gorillas and the visiting public for over 30 years. That hardly seems a poor design. Many on here have posted of children who have gotten themselves in impossible situations, there is no way any facility can design for every possibility. The zoo is required to provide a safe environment with the assumption that parents are fulfilling the requirement of monitoring and controlling their children. This is a tragedy, and while I feel for the family, it is ultimately their responsibility to be in control of their child. Many of you are trying to say that parents fail, so somehow the zoo should have done more to protect this child than his parents did. That is ridiculous and impossible. The end result is that these parents failed to control their child and his life was put at risk. Many of us have been there with less tragic results, sadly these parents were not as fortunate.

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56. JustinAnn

    at

    Beautifully written! I can’t imagine what was going through this mothers mind! I would have been beyond devistated and probably would have risked my own life to try and get my son! I think that Jack Hanna helped make the decision to euthenize the gorilla. He felt that decision was 1,000% what needed done! There should not have been anyway for a 4yo to be able to climb through a cage. The gorilla ultimately would have killed that boy IF they was to tranqulize him, because the fact of the matter is and was, it would take up to 10-15 minutes for it to work. He would have jumped around possibly landing on the child or could have picked him up and smashed his head. What was done was NEEDED to be done to save your little boy!!! Yes it is sad that a n endagered animal died, but not to long ago, Jack Hanna had to use this same tactic on 30+ animals including tigers, east of Columbus in Zanesville! It broke my heart in two, to hear that they killed all those tigers….they are so beautiful (my fav animal), but in a crowded urban area, peoples lives trump endagered species!!! No one should have to judge you or your parenting style!!! I don’t believe it is enirely your fault. I think that if it was a female that grabbed your son, the outcome would have been different as in 1996 when Binti Jua, a gorilla, cradled a child that fell into her cage, and took the boy to safety and handed him over to zoo officals, with her own baby on her back. God Bless you, your son and your family….♡

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57. Debra

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    What has this world come to that anyone would even question who should be saved in this situation? So sad…

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58. Quanita

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    I am struck by two things, first where was the village? Didn’t others at the zoo notice this little boy? Second, what role is race and class playing in our compassion? In our community poor and women of color who have turned their heads and had their children fall out of windows or get out of the house and are found roaming the streets have been charged with a crime. They have been charged with neglect of their children. Where has the outrage been in their cases? I don’t agree with the hateful things people have been saying about the mother but I do think her children are her responsibility and we (communal we) tend to judge white women different in these cases and are shy to call out the privilege that holds.

    I would also like to say that the zoo enclosure has operated safely for 38 years since it seems you are willing to shift a lot of the responsibility onto the zoo. And that having compassion for another doesn’t mean that they don’t still carry responsibility. I can have compassion for someone who I feel has wronged me but still expect them to make amends, or restore me to whole to the best of their ability.

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59. Catherine

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    My son just turned 5 and in the matter of 3 days has left our house with his baby sister out my side door while my mom and dad were sitting, left the booth at a restaurant to follow his father as my mom was trying to call me and left my father in law to follow my mother in law. He had never done anything like this but we all freaked out and talked to him about what and why he did what he did. It’s scary when they think they are big enough to be independent. I am definitely more on edge with him now and I don’t take for granted that he is a good boy because even hood boys can take off. Maybe in the past I would have been one of those people saying how goes this happen, but know I know. I support the mom 100%.

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60. Vicki

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    Very nice letter- Its heartbreaking any time an animal is put down. But I think a childs life should always be the main focus.

    And for those of you who feel the mother should not get off with punishment– seriously??? When your child falls down and scrapes a knee are you to blame? When they break an arm jumping off the swing should the mother be arrested? Children are curious and in a blink of an eye they do things we wish they didn’t — but that doesn’t make us reckless or uncaring.

    Throwing stones is never a good idea… karma…

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61. Eurico

    at

    Wrong, I don’t agree. We have all lost our kids at some point, but that doesn’t make it less our fault of having lost them. They are our responsibility, and the responsibility for the death of Harambe is on the head on that mother as well.

    No one goes to a Zoo, where the only thing that separates us from a deadly animal is just a few inches of metal, or sometimes even less, and not keep an eye on their children, It’s just inconceivable. Honestly, I’m of the opinion that the Zoo should now sue this mother and father, and use that as a lesson for every parent that takes their children to the zoo.

    I wish this family well, though. I’m sure they were not planning on this to happen when they left home to go to the Zoo, but part of going to a place like that, is to plan for the worse. That didn’t seem to be the case, and as a result, a majestic animal died.

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62. Shelley

    at

    This incident just goes to show that these animals should not be in a zoo for our viewing pleasure. These are animals that treat babies different than we do. This is what happens when people cage, pen or enclose (whatever term makes you feel better) these animals that are meant to be wild. I 100% agree that anyone who has a child has turned around in a busy place and even just for a moment lost visual of your child. Just happens it wasn’t at a zoo and no one was shot because of it. Shame on every person who has said something nasty to this poor mother who endured a lot more pain and panick than any one of you who didn’t even know this gorilla. We should all be here to help each other, not tear each other down. It’s much to easy to be so cruel to each other from behind a keyboard. I can safely bet 90% or more of you have never done a dam thing to help the zoo or endangered species. No matter what opinion any of you have about this event it still shows us that these animals should not be available for your viewing pleasure. To the mom of this boy, I’m so sorry you went through this. The sheer terror you must have felt the second you saw your child on the other side of the glass must have been so awful. Your son IS worth saving and this does NOT mean you are a bad mother. As awful as it is that an endangered animal had to be killed should be forcing people to think these dangerous animals should not be available for hundreds or thousands of people to see everyday. Put on display like they are just things and not animals with attitudes and great strength.

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63. Melody Fisher

    at

    Very loving response to this mother.. I started following the story, then seeing all the hatred.. This morning I watched the full video and there was no doubt this child was in danger. I used to be a person who judged other mothers based on what their children did. Then I had a child who was different (autism) and responded differently. I lost her a few times at home in our own yard and after that, spent a year keeping her indoors for her protection. I lost her once at work when I turned my back for a moment and was on the phone with the 911 operator when a co worker came walking her back up the sidewalk to our building. So many people think they know what they would do with their children , their grandchildren 24/7…that isn’t always the reality of the situation. Many people claim how as a 3 and 4 year old they were so well behaved they would never act like this child did.. Again, I am thinking your memories of reality are much different than your parents memories would be. The fact that this child had no fear about the drop into the gorilla cage, should at best let people know that little ones don’t think in terms of reality, but their own reality.. Thank you for giving this situation grace and mercy, that we all deserve when we are truly doing our best and caring for our children.

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64. Dawn McNabb

    at

    You know what it isn’t that she needed a leash ,Though I personally feel they are helpful,espicially at the beach. But its discipline needed . When I was a child we has strict discipline and knew not to wander.We held hands ,or our hands were behind our backs. We did not mis-behave in public or we would get a spanking (which does not harm children if done on the butt) . We knew that holding hands ,not playing around ,being respectfull made our folks happy with us. Disipline is not used enough today because to many people are afraid of the spnking (with th hand nothing more ) and being stern with the children ,look at most Military children ,they are far more better behaved because of the parents teaching them the discipline they have to learn and live .

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65. sara

    at

    Bottom liner, that child should not have been able to enter the enclosure, and that 400 pound gorilla is a wil animal.

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66. Dodi Koontz

    at

    A few years ago a grade school boy was injured by a tiger while on a field trip to our zoo. He had went under the barrier and approached the chain link fence where as the tiger could reach him. This happens more than you would expect. The zoo’s are trying to make enclosures more natural to appease the animal activists while also meeting strict regulations by AZA. But parents need to stop and analyze their children and use some common sense when taking them into possible dangerous situations. I have 2 boys (18&19) but I knew their limitations at an early age. My oldest was very level headed and I knew I could trust him to stay by my side. Now my youngest was the one that I knew would put himself into dangerous situations. All I can say is take lots of precautions! If I didn’t think it was something he could handle, then we didn’t go. I did not think I would survive him for years. But the point is, know your children and take precautions if you have a little one that likes to be independent. Preteach them what is acceptable and what the consequences could be (be graphic) before you ever leave home. This could save their life!

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67. Deb

    at

    The fence was up for 32 years without incident, the difference is the will to go over the barrier unlike others. Do not blame this on the zoo it’s HER FAULT not watching her child especially after she heard him say he wanted to go down there.

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68. Minny

    at

    It is a sad situation either way. However, the right decision was made. As parents, yes accidents do happen. As parents, I can see having more than one child is very hard on both parents, in keeping up with each of them, I GET THAT. What I don’t agree with, is if you are on outting to the Zoo, where things can happen, as so in this case, I would NOT be on a cell phone call ignoring my son, who repeatedly insists to his mother that he wanted to play in the water where the gorilla was. Bystanders have stated, that they heard her son tell her repeatedly that he wanted to go play in the water, and she just brushed him off while talking on her cell and repeatedly said no. Bystanders have also stated that the father was posting pictures of the other children on social media and not focusing on the baby because he thought the mother was attending to him. That is what irrates me. No! I am not perfect! But when it comes to a child, especially three and we are at the zoo, and my sole responsibility is his saftey then yes! YOU ARE IN THE WRONG. I am sorry, I am not being hostile in my comment, I am just saying when I am out in public, especially a zoo where things like this can happen, my cell phone ccall can wait, and my child comes first. Unfortunately, technology has caused a major impact on how we pay attention to society and our responsibilities as parents….the zoo made the right choice, but unfortunately this mother did not.

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69. Melanie

    at

    I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THIS ARTICLE!
    TO THE PARENT’S DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF FOR THIS SAD LOSS.
    ACCIDENTS HAPPEN.
    TO ALL ZOO’S HOW MANY ACCIDENTS AND DEATHS WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO MAKE SAFE ENCLOSERS, FOR THE ANIMALS AND VISITORS TO YOUR ZOO’S!!
    AND TO ALL PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO SAY, WE SHOULDNT HAVE ANIMALS IN CAPTIVITY……..ZOOS ALSO ARE TO HELP, LEARN AND UNDERSTAND THESE ANIMALS MORE!
    HOW TO BREED THEM! AND HELP THEM FROM BECOMING EXTINCT!!
    IF IT WASN’T FOR THESE PLACES, ALOT OF DIFFERENT BREEDS WOULD NOT BE AROUND ON EARTH ANY MORE!

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70. Christy

    at

    Well written. And kudos to those of you who have NEVER not been holding your kids hands EVER. That’s amazing how do you go to the bathroom in public? My kids aren’t the type that want to wander off, but that doesn’t mean in a crowd you can’t get separated even while holding hands. I agree our society lacks compassion among other things.

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71. Carlos

    at

    “I, and the rest of the world, will never fully understand why death trumped tranquilization.”

    To not know is to be willfully ignorant of what goes into a decision like this. If you’ve never seen a large animal when it’s hit with a tranq dart you should go look at some YouTube, National Geographic, Animal Planet, etc. videos. There are plenty showing that there is almost always an immediate and violent reaction as soon as the animal is hit. Had they used a tranq gun the child would all but certainly have been killed immediately. To argue otherwise is wishful thinking and what we wish might happen can’t be allowed to trump what we know will almost certainly happen.

    Those who made the decision most assuredly regret that this was their only option, but they also didn’t allow that regret to put a child’s life in jeopardy.

    I am saddened to hear the hateful voices on both sides of this situation.

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72. Lynne Gaylor

    at

    Very well said…..thank you for shedding some human decency on this tragic occurrence.

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73. Linda

    at

    Very beautifully written kara,I do agree with all you said. I just want to say anybody that has a child and this had happened to them I can’t believe that you would not want the zoo workers to do what ever they had to do to save your child’s life as sad as it is ,yes this gorilla may have been trying to protect the child but as a parent I would not want to wait to see.

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74. Eva

    at

    Well said! I just posted on Facebook saying the same thing. While my one child has never walked off from me or run, I know it can happen in a instant. I will never understand, when accidents happen, how we as parents can be so harsh to one another. I feel like I fail everyday as a parent. And believe me, I am sure the mother of that boy is feeling that same way. I think we all have. We need to uplift each other, not tear each other down. Perfection is not possible and anyone with children knows this.

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75. Martha

    at

    I love your comment… Thanks God for people like you!

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76. Heather Loppe

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    Kara, you have eloquently spoken for so many of us. The torment of this poor mom who already experienced a chilling terror watching the episode is inhumane, especially from those protesting the treatment of the animal here. Well done and I thank you.

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77. A. Arnold

    at

    I really do not believe the Zoo to be at all responsible (“and your child should never have been able to get inside to begin with”) Imagine the heartache they are now feeling being put in this lose / lose situation. That child climbed safety fences and jumped (Not fell) in the enclosure. So, if that child decided not to abide by the road rules and crossed a busy road full of trucks (to parallel an enclosure with a huge gorilla) on the RED do not walk sign and was hit, would we blame the local council for not building up barriers that hold children back until it’s safe to cross? Tragic. I pray the child learns that the rules of this world apply to everyone, including him, to keep everyone (and every thing) safe, not just him. Of course we have all ‘lost’ our children briefly, isn’t it just unthinkable that this poor gorilla paid the price in this instance…..it may well have been a truck driver grieving for the rest of his life if basic life rules are not instilled in our kids but ignored. And we wouldn’t have shot the truck driver.

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78. Amy

    at

    If even Jack Hanna agreed it was the best choice, well I’d say it was. It was a wild animal and I would not want to watch or take the chance of what this gorilla could of done. Would you? They are experts and made the call. The RIGHT call. Let’s put this in perspective. Although a beautiful God created animal, that child “trumps” the animal every time. I feel for the mom, people need to move on and leave her alone.

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79. Ginny Villers

    at

    Thank you for your well thought out and well written letter to a mom who is most likely feeling worse than she ever has in her entire life. I’m glad that all of my mistakes that I’ve made with my four children weren’t video taped, nor as public (and life-threatening) as this one, but we ALL make mistakes. Even the people that have made comments on this post about how they’ve never lost one of their children and how perfect their children are and stay right next to them.
    When my older three were little, there was a short while I had three that were three years old and under. It’s so amazingly difficult to keep them in line at all times. I’ve thought a lot about this situation and how it could have happened, and ultimately, I believe the fault lies with the zoo. There shouldn’t have been any way for a child that young to be able to get into the cage, in the first place. The whole situation is awful, but it is a miracle the little boy is safe and will be alive to talk about it, in the years to come.

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80. Wendy

    at

    As a mother of 5 I have a very hard time believing that no one has ever lost track of one of your kids. I mean come on they are mini escape artists at times. I will admit that I actually took the wrong child trick or treating one year. We went 2 blocks before the other mother and I figured out we had the wrong kids. But to bash this woman for something that could have happened to anyone of us..Death threats really people. Mistakes happen, so do accidents. I am sure she didn’t mean for him to run off, I am also sure she didnt think he would get into the enclosure. I would think that if it was meant to keep a 400 pound animal in that it would surely keep a 40 pound child out..but you never know what will happen. I feel horrible for the death of the animal..but does anyone on of you that are bashing on this poor woman stopped to think about what she is feeling..I am sure she isn’t proud and I am sure she is thinking some of the same things about herself. Are all of us so much better in our lives that we have never made mistakes. My 11 year old read a couple of articles and said “You know mom, these people are bullies” and she was right. So to all of you out there that have never made mistakes or whose children never got away from them and you knew where they were at all times think about what you post. To the mother I am so sorry for the way other mothers treat you, I am glad your child is safe..hold him tighter. As for me I am off to chase after my escape artists. I hope everyone has a nice day…Kara thank you for the lovely letter.

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81. Candace

    at

    I agree with the woman who wrote this. With all these people attacking this mother, just think if it was your child in there. And it could of been your child, nobody is perfect, and im sure many people out there have lost sight of their child at some point and time for a split second. I know for a fact if it was one of my babies I would rather my child live than the gorilla too, without hesitation. Even if it wasn’t my child and I was the one pulling that trigger. Yes, it’s a horrible outcome but it could’ve been ALOT worse being a 4yr olds life rather than a gorilla.

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82. Candace

    at

    Yes the gorilla was protecting the child but would you want to wait & take the chance that he begins to hurt him or slam him around if it was you baby, niece/nephew, or grandchild

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83. Andrea

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    I find the death threats & hatred towards this mother appalling. However, I do feel that negligence played a role in this incident. This was a tragedy & the zoo acted accordingly in order to save this child’s life. However, it came down to the death of an animal on the endangered species list. Someone is responsible & I feel that it is the mother of this child. I feel it is too apologetic to just say “accidents happen, it’s no one’s fault”. I do have empathy for this mother because I can imagine how this must feel for her. People are judging the ENTIRETY of her parenting abilities on this incident and/or assuming she’s an all around bad person. I don’t believe this is the case. But that DOES NOT change that she is responsible for her child, & that her child was able to get into an exhibit that has been around since 1978 without ANY similar incidents. I do feel that her mistake can be & should be forgiven… that what is important is that the child is ok. But I think it’s ridiculous to say that she isn’t responsible in any way. If I am driving a car & glance down for a split second, I could cause a wreck that could kill multiple people. This could also happen to any one of us, just as people are saying a kid getting away from a parent can happen to anyone. However, I would still be responsible for the accident.

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84. Holly

    at

    I don’t feel hatered toward her or wish harm on her, but I disagree with this article. She needs to be held responsible for this, bc she was negligent of her responsibilities to keep her children safe. She should have never had that many kids in a zoo by herself.
    I also totally understand why the animal had to be killed. At the end of the day human life is more important than any animal regardless of their species’ numbers. Killing him was the only way to guarantee the boys safety. I don’t believe he was trying to cause harm, nor do I believe he would have handed the boy over to the workers. Even tho he wasn’t trying to hurt the boy he also didn’t realize how fragile human kids are compared to gorilla kids.

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85. Linda Jeffers

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    Zoo enclosures are built to keep the animals in. In 35 years no animal ever escaped this enclosure. The zoo is not at fault.

    The child slipped away in an instant, absolutely. Happens to the best of us. But, that is entirely on the parents. If this child slipped away at the beach and drowned it wouldn’t be the lifeguard’s fault. If this child slipped away and fell into the Grand Canyon, it wouldn’t be the Park Services fault.

    The zoo had no choice. To save this child’s life the gorilla had to be killed. The gorilla was dragging this child around, banging his head–he was in the hospital for a concussion. The zoo did not hesitate to place the safety of that child as its highest priority.

    The parents accidentally lost track of their child. The zoo killed an endangered gorilla to save the child’s life. That’s all you get. The parent’s don’t get to sue the zoo. The parents should thank their lucky stars they haven’t been charged with child endangerment and neglect. But, the animal rights activists needed to step in when that gorilla first arrived at the zoo.

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86. Yehudis

    at

    Well said!! Any mom knows how easy it is for a child to slip away in a second. I am sure the mom feels horrible already…there’s no need to make it worse.

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87. Vicki

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    This has been my standard response to those crucifying the mother., it’s gotten so far out of hand…
    I guess I’m also a “worthless mother”? Cree has gotten away from me more than once, a few nearly cost her her life. I wasn’t negligent, she’s just that fast. Tbh, idk this woman’s story, but I know my circumstances, even as a helicopter mom on steroids, she can get away.
    Also, this zoo has a 37 year history of Inadequate safety barriers. We don’t know if dad (gasp, not a soul has thought to blame a dad) was in charge while she went to the bathroom, or changed another baby’s diaper.
    I’m not directing my anger at anyone in particular, just at the public in general crucifying this mom, and have only the shocking and sad video to go by. Cree even got out of the house before. Was I neglecting her? No, I was cooking her dinner, I could even see the door. She waited until my back was turned for less than five seconds. The “what ifs” nearly drove me to a nervous breakdown. She’s slipped out of my death grip while walking on a sidewalk, and headed straight for the street. I had her baby sister in tow, I couldn’t be two people, and thankfully, I pulled it off. My point is, they’re fast and quiet. I know only one perfect parent, and am thankful for His grace.

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88. PJ

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    What a beautiful letter to this mom. Well said and I certainly hope the mom reads it and that it can relieve her fears of what could have been. As for the gorilla; a very, very sad situation and one I wish had been avoidable. The Cincinnati Zoo would have never killed him if they felt it was avoidable…Never.
    Thank you Kara for a wonderful heartfelt letter.

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89. Debbie

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    I’m so glad you wrote this and I hope the mom sees it. As a mom and grandma, sometimes things just happen and a child gets into a situation they shouldn’t. Those of you who say it never happened to you, I’m glad. But it wasn’t because you were a better parent, you just got lucky. Kids dart into the street, they climb where they shouldn’t and this boy got into an enclosure he shouldn’t have been able to get into. I am sad the gorilla had to be put down, but so thankful that the little boy was ok. And that mom needs support, not condemnation. How sad our society shows more compassion for an animal than another human being.

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90. A.B.

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    In an effort to make the zoo experience more natural in appearance, to create a safari like experience, zoos have adopted a natural barrier approach. This allows us a better look at the animals and the natural barriers are designed to make sure the creature cannot excape. However, it is rather obvious at any zoo I’ve been in that an unwatched child could climb over the fence and fall into the exhibit, any exhibit that has a natural barrier as opposed to a glass wall.

    You have to be aware of that at all times while at the zoo. I’m amazed at people shocked that a child breached the barrier. It is a fence and bushes from our end, of course he could. The safety comes in the 15 foot moat with no way to climb onto the visitors side.

    I understand that losing your kid is something that happens to a lot of parents. Thankfully, it hasnt happened to me. I make my child’s safety the number one priority and sge undertands the risks of not paying attention at a busy place. And yes. She understood that even as young as three and four. She actually is amazed at other kids acting crazy, making unsafe choices and she wonders why they don’t get in trouble because they are ruining the experience for everyone else.

    Nevertheless, I understand not all kids understand how important it is to pay attention and stay by your parents in a place like the zoo. I know people enjoy taking pictures and it isn’t unreasonable to have your child hols your pocket while you do so. But according to a witness who provided video of the gorilla with the boy to WLWT this boy TOLD his mom he wanted to get in there so at that point 100% of your attention should be on that child.

    I do think this mother has suffered enough by seeing her boy being dragged around by a 400 pound animal that could have easily killed him. I can’t imagine the fear and I am so thankful he is okay.

    I just hope that everyone realizes that the zoo barriers are designed to allow us a maximum view and keep the animals in. If it becomes the zoos responsibility to keep people out then we will only be looking through glass from here on out.

    Reply

91. Janid

    at

    I watched an interview with Jack Hanna this morning who has studied gorillas for 35 years and he stated that the way the gorilla drug the child through the water was showing that he was very agitated. If they had thought for a minute that the gorilla was protecting the child and would not harm him, they never would have shot him. He also stated that the gorilla was already agitated and a tranquilizer dart would have made him jump and become even more agitated and he has no doubts that if the gorilla had not been shot that child would not be alive. A tranquilizer dart can take several minutes to work and they could not risk that in those minutes the gorilla would have killed the child. They had to make a very hard choice but if they had waited and the child had been killed then everyone who is not criticizing the mom would have been criticizing the zoo asking why they didn’t shoot him before the child was killed. A case of damned if you do and damned if you don’t. No child should ever be able to get through a barrier and into a wild animals enclosure. It only takes a split second for a child to leave your sight.

    Reply

92. James Bordicks

    at

    I wouldve agreed except for the simple fact that the child made his intentions known to his mother several times telling her he was going to go in the water. So the fact that she was given multiple warnings and still didnt pay extra attention to what her child was doing, instead on her phone, screams neglect! This isnt a case ofturning your back and the child disappearing in a second…. This is a case of a parent being forwarned several times and still neglecting to do her job as a parent and take preventative measures for herchilds safety! Im glad the child is safe but this parent should definately have consequences!

    Reply

93. Kathleen

    at

    I’m so happy you wrote this. The comments I have read directed towards this mother are heartbreaking. I made the mistake of commenting on a thread with thus same view and was attacked by other commenters. As a parent if three children, I can understand how chaotic it can be taking kids to public places. No, I’ve never list track if my kids at a zoo….but it doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen to me… Maybe this mom was at fault..but maybe it was a horribly tragic MISTAKE? A brief moment where she turned away and he ran off? Who are we all tobjudge? These commenters…were c they there? No…did they see this mother searching frantically in the crowd for her child? Maybe another parent or adult was keeping an eye on him? So many parts of the story we don’t and won’t know. I’m saddened that Harambe lost his life…but if it was your child..wouldn’t you hope that the same choice was made?

    Reply

94. Patrick

    at

    Kara,
    Honorable pursuit. In truth, I believe that your message was 90% for the world and 10% for this mother. That is, of course, how it should be. I’m sure that she is glad to hear it, if she’s possibly able currently, but as you can see by the many comments here, and worldwide, the REAL healing is elsewhere. Thanks for doing this.
    Patrick

    Reply

95. SG

    at

    Kudos to you! I hope you send this letter to her. I can’t believe some of the vitriolic crap that is being hurled at this woman. Yes, she is at fault but people are acting as if they have NEVER made a mistake as parents. That coupled with people placing more value on the life of the animal than that of the child disgusts me. Some have suggested the boy should have been shot since the gorilla is endangered and toddlers are not. A sick, sad world we live in.

    Reply

96. Suzanne Bourdon

    at

    Thank you Kara for taking the high road. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people (and gorillas). I am glad that I am not that child, that mother, that zoo official, etc, etc…. we could all spend a lifetime and a day trying to decide if the right decision was taken. It is just a heartbreaking story for everyone involved and sometimes tragic events are just that, tragic. There does not always have to be blame and punishment. Let’s try to be decent human beings and just take the appropriate steps to try to keep something like this from happening again. It will happen again, in some other place, to some other people, with some other outcome. The best we can do is learn from our mistakes and take measures to the best of our ability and knowledge. My heart goes out to any and all involved with no prejudice, just kindness.

    Reply

97. Bob

    at

    The gorilla couldn’t escape because the enclosure is 14 or so feet lower than the gangway. The kid jumped off a 14 or so foot wall. That said, the zoo tried to bait the gorilla away for 10 min before deciding to shoot. Tranquilization was not really an option as it takes up to 10 min and agitates the animal. There do not exists nets to hold gorillas.

    Reply

98. tricia parou

    at

    Death trumped tranquilization because it would have taken several minutes for the sedative to take effect. During that time, he would inmmediately react to the pain of the dart and that, combined with the stressful atmosphere, he would have lashed out aggressively at anything within his reach. Tranquilizing him would have killed that little boy, killing him was (sadly) the only thing to do.

    Reply

99. Terry

    at

    Thank you for that heartfelt comment. I can only hope that those involved in the gang war are not parents and have no understanding of the reality of the situation. Yes it is a sad thing that happened, but those who would choose the life of this animal over the child are the problem in this society, not the answer. No one knows that better than the individual that pulled the trigger.

    Reply

100. Lisa

     at

     Where was Dad? Why do moms get the brunt of the blame when children misbehave or accidents happen?

     Reply

101. Colleen

     at

     I hope the mom does read this, she deserves to hear from someone who is trying to offer her some peace. I’ve not watched the video, although I did read the account of someone who witnessed the event and I read Jack Hannah’s comment. Even without having read them, I’d be defending the mom. Is it sad that an animal had to be put down, definitely. Is it wrong that a child was able to climb into the enclosure, definitely. Is it wrong that people think it’s okay to vilify this
     poor woman, definitely. Is it a sad world we live in where people claim the child should have been left to die, definitely. Personally, I think it’s disgusting that this mom is being persecuted the way she is. But for
     anyone to say she’s negligent – wrong. Even if she
     never took her eyes off of him, it could have happened in a blink of an eye. Will people be more careful with their children in similar situations? I hope so. But I doubt it. Because accidents happen, they can have horrible outcomes. I’m relieved to know this little boy was saved, as I’m certain his mom is. It’s a shame more people don’t or can’t express the same emotion. Shame on them but kudos to you for speaking up.

     Reply

102. Bernadette

     at

     Beautiful and thoughtful letter.

     Reply

103. Annette

     at

     Beautifully written! You have so eloquently stated what I have felt.

     Reply

104. Billy Ballowe

     at

     To anyone who thinks that the child could not have been hurt of killed by the gorilla…my grandson’s arm was wrenched out of socket by his mother walking and holding his hand. A child that age has very little ability to be able to protect himself or herself in that type of situation. The young gorilla is much stronger than a child plus the adult gorilla cannot reason whether the child would be hurt in this circumstance.The situation was sad on many levels but there was little choice to be had.

     Reply

105. Sherry

     at

     Well said Kara. The reality of parenting is that children can get away from us in an instant. It happens. It is so easy for others to sit in judgement, but if it was them watching their child in that situation I’m positive they would want the safety of their child to be the first consideration. It’s easy to say that they would never have let their child get away, but it isn’t necessarily realistic. I have four children who are all grown now. I was a paranoid mother who never let my children out of my sight, but my little four year old son slipped away from me at Busch Gardens near the elephant habitat. I turned to ask my husband a quick question and in seconds my son was gone. Fortunately we found him fairly quickly and he was safe. My point is, it can happen to anyone, no matter how careful you are. I pray for this mom and her son in the face of all this hatred and cruelty. I pray for the person who had to make the call to put Harambe down and for the person who carried out the order. It is a tragic and sad situation, but thank God the child is still alive and safe.

     Reply

106. Valerie

     at

     The child was in the gorillas palm. Once the tranquilizer dart hit the gorilla a single squeeze could’ve crushed the little boys bones. Not to mention the wait for dart to take effect in tha time the gorilla would be more aggressive. Death trumped tranquilization because it was the right call for the boy. It is extremely unfortunate the majestic gorilla died. But there are more silver back gorillas there’s only one of the little boy.

     Reply

107. Virginia Vazquez

     at

     Well said and I too agree with your letter to her ….. We are all humans and mistakes happens. thank god that her child is safe

     Reply

108. Elaine

     at

     My son was 2 years old when someone let him out of the door of our church. He ran across 5 lanes of traffic before I realized he was gone, was I a bad mom? Maybe in the eyes of many people. He’s a happy 30 year old man now, thank goodness he survived my best at parenting. We all make mistakes, and it takes a split second for a child to disappear. I am an animal lover as well, but a human life is more important.

     Reply

109. Laura Wright

     at

     Love it. Your so right! I wrote a blog about this situation too. I collected stories from a bunch of other parents that looked away for just one second…it happens to the best of us and fortunately this child is okay! To the mom that commented that her 3 years has never been away from her side one single time….good for you! I doubt it….but good for you!

     Reply

     • Lorri

       at

       As a an often accused “helicopter” mother, I would have sworn my child would never leave my sight. My daughter was four years old, and her grandmother and I were shopping with her for an Easter dress. My little one had never tried to run away or hide in a store, and I always held her hand. Grandma and I were taking turns holding my daughter’s hand while we pulled dresses from the rack and held them up to her. Somehow, we both let go of her hands at the same time to reach for a dress. When we reached back down, she was gone. It happened that quickly. Just a matter of seconds. Grandma went one direction, and I ran the other. My daughter had evidently hidden under a rack, because we did not see her. I stooped down to look around a rack, and when I saw her on the other side of the display, a man was picking her up from behind, with both hands under her armpits. I yelled her name, and grabbed her arm, pulling her out of the man’s grip. He covered his face, and ran out of the store. Another man in a trench coat who was following him also covered his face and ran. Lucky… yes. Negligent… no. Blessed… definitely.

110. Diane Napoli

     at

     I believe the real moral failure here as a parent is teaching (by example) that its ok to have these animals in a zoo for our “viewing pleasure” This is big business, he was not a”injured in the wild” As long as people have no empathy for theses animals, then your statement “zoos are not going anywhere anytime soon”. is true. sadly

     Reply

111. Kelly Judge

     at

     As a mum and an avid animal lover, this event broke my heart. I am grateful the child came through the ordeal okay but heartbroken that a majestic, endangered silverback gorilla had to die through no fault of his own.
     I see both sides of this situation and understand that a very difficult choice had to be made by zoo staff, very quickly and under great duress, but what it boils down to is the fact that this situation should NEVER have occurred in the first place…
     there should be no way ANYONE within the general public has the access to be able to enter these animal enclosures, so I hold the zoo mainly responsible for the events on Saturday (and also last weeks incident with the lions in Chile).
     More so for a child to be able to breach an enclosure so quickly and easily just shocks me and is inexcusable.

     More importantly, these animals should not be penned for our entertainment. We should be educating our children (our future generations) from a young age on the dangers and plights of these wild animals by showing them how they behave naturally in the wild through accurate and explicit footage in documentaries (that’s what makes them so unique and amazing), not showing our kids the impassive, captive despondent animals that we keep in a preternatural enclosed environments, suppressing their natural instincts and behavour.
     Our children see these wild animals looking like domesticated pets being fed by humans in zoos and so see them as harmless….as responsible parents, we should teach our children the true primal nature of ‘wildlife’ and how dangerous they really are and why we cannot live together naturally in the same environment.

     I also acknowledge how the parents involved could have lost sight of their child for a split second but I also feel that the child was at an age where he should have been educated on the dangers involved with the animals and the zoo beforehand.

     I understand that a zoo’s role is conservation, education and research but surely this can be done in a santuary type environment more comparable to their natural environments which would not subject these poor animals to the constant flow of gawking, noisy humans and flashing cameras with whom they are supposed to have a natural fear of….or a natural appetite for.

     At least Harambe is now finally free of his prison… RIP. Harambe – Majestic Silverback.

     Reply

112. Karen Lynch

     at

     Very well written. Opened my eyes. It is a very sad situation all around. Of course the enclosures must be corrected. And so many things could have gone wrong with a tranquilizer . First and foremost my brain would have screamed Save My Child.

     Reply

113. Janet

     at

     This was beautifully written and no one knows what was happened if we’re my child or any one else child. Just like we don’t know the policy and procedures for the zoo of something like this happens. As Karen said stay strong and try to honestly try if you can to do what you can to keep any other child from climbing. As you can read you have many supporters.

     Reply

114. Linda

     at

     Beautiful, Kara! Thank you!

     Reply

115. Nikki

     at

     Kara,
     You did an amazing job at writing this! I agree completely, and hope the mother reads this. We all make mistakes. At least this mother was out doing something with her kids.

     Reply

116. Linda Sidowski

     at

     Thank you for writing this compassionate piece to the mother of the boy who fell in the gorilla enclosure. I was moved by your kindness and genuine concern.

     In an age where people feel they have the “right” to say anything to anyone at anytime, my heart has broken for all that this mother must be going through. The hateful, hurtful, judgmental posts were/are so mean-spirited. We need to help one another by being understanding and caring. Life is hard, and when something like this happens, we need to embrace and encourage one another.

     Thanks again.

     Reply

117. Kelly Judge

     at

     I see both sides of this situation and understand that a very difficult choice had to be made by zoo staff, very quickly and under great duress, but what it boils down to is the fact that this situation should NEVER have occurred in the first place…
     there should be no way ANYONE within the general public has the access to be able to enter these animal enclosures, so I hold the zoo mainly responsible for the events on Saturday (and also last weeks incident with the lions in Chile).
     More so for a child to be able to breach an enclosure so quickly and easily just shocks me and is inexcusable.
     More importantly, these animals should not be penned for our entertainment. We should be educating our children (our future generations) from a young age on the dangers and plights of these wild animals by showing them how they behave naturally in the wild through accurate and explicit footage in documentaries (that’s what makes them so unique and amazing), not showing our kids the impassive, captive despondent animals that we keep in a preternatural enclosed environments, suppressing their natural instincts and behavour.
     Our children see these wild animals looking like domesticated pets being fed by humans in zoos and so see them as harmless….as responsible parents, we should teach our children the true primal nature of ‘wildlife’ and how dangerous they really are and why we cannot live together naturally in the same environment.
     I also acknowledge how the parents involved could have lost sight of their child for a split second but I also feel that the child was at an age where he should have been educated on the dangers involved with the animals and the zoo beforehand.

     I understand that a zoo’s role is conservation, education and research but surely this can be done in a santuary type environment more comparable to their natural environments which would not subject these poor animals to the constant flow of gawking, noisy humans and flashing cameras with whom they are supposed to have a natural fear of….or a natural appetite for.
     At least Harambe is now finally free of his prison… RIP. Harambe – Majestic Silverback.

     Reply

118. Pah

     at

     A small child can fit through and into places a huge gorilla can’t. Does this enclosure work to keep in these large animals yes, does it work to keep put small children, no, but you know what so do many other things in the world we rely on parents and or guardians t keep a close eye on them. Saying that, in no way did this kids parents deserve the hate and death threats etc. As you said everyone makes mistakes, ALL parents do in some form.

     Reply

119. Kathy Carabellese

     at

     I agree whole-heartedly. i was sickened by some of the comments made by people about abuse and neglect and unfit mother. Shame on those people to judge a mom who was trying to have a nice day at the zoo with her son. People say she wasn’t hysterical like a typical mother would be. Hysteria might have caused more problems. She was trying to calm her son and the hopefully the gorilla. We don’t calm a situation by getting hysterical. Most of the comments were plain stupid and cruel. To the mom, there are those of us who back you up, many of us have had our child escape our grasp or our vision. Hang in there, You’re a great mom

     Reply

120. Judy

     at

     I once lost my daughter and her friend at a fireworks event on a beach. I stupidly told them to go rinse their feet – took eyes off them for split second while I folded blanket. Looked up it was dark and i couldn’t find them. I was s searching frantically when my husband called me to tell me they were with the police. Some nice women took her to the security and they had called him. It was stupid to let them walk away in the dark but hindsight is 20/20.

     Reply

121. Susan Cunningham

     at

     Thank you for being an instrument of peace and grace to this mom, and an example of humanity to others. It is incredibly sad how so many people in these times tend to view the life of an animal as more important than the life of a child, or the soul of this poor woman. I appreciate your being willing to take on criticism for showing love and compassion to someone who desperately needs it. Blessings to you.

     Reply

122. Theresa

     at

     This was a sad situation all around. I understand the staff was left with no choice but o kill this beautiful beast. I as a parent and a grand parent can’t understand the mother’s actions. Under the best situation yes a little one can get a few feet away. That being if what the witnesses voiced was true the child said he was going to do exactly what he did.Can’t wrap my mind what happened after that.

     Reply

123. April

     at

     This was a freak accident. Children can be freakishly fast and sneaky when they are determined to do something. The enclosure hasn’t had an incident in 38 years since it was built. That’s millions of children that have been there. Don’t shame the mother and don’t blame the zoo. It’s just an unfortunate accident.

     Reply

124. Nan

     at

     Thank you for saying what I wish I knew how to say for a few days now. Bad things happen. It doesn’t mean she’s a bad mom.This mom is probably beating herself up and didn’t need all the hate people have shown her. None of us are perfect.
     Thanks for showing us a way to send a little love and kindness to each other!
     Nan Melberg

     Reply

125. Kortnei

     at

     I am so sick of this holier than thou attitude. Our quickness to judge everyone and everything. To jump on the bandwagon of hate. This is a society that is constantly in everyone else’s business and offended by everything. No one lives their own life but, sadly this need to have our noses in everyone else’s business via,social media has also alienated us from knowing our neighbors, watching out for each others, being loyal to family and friends. Its taught us to stick our noses in our phones or iPads,and spew hate from a keyboard. Remember when our grandparents would say it takes a village to raise a child. This is true yet completely unheard of in today’s society. Where I’m going with that particular statement is…with all the people standing in the crowd watching the gorilla’s did not one person see this child scale the fence? Did someone see this little boy and turn their head as we do to everything in real life because we,are to damn busy looking for our next sensational scandal online in which to get enraged and offended and scream and point fingers about. God help America.

     Reply

126. Stacey

     at

     Thank you for communicating 90% of what needed to be said. This incident has made me so angry and disappointed in human behaviour, she doesn’t deserve the horrible comments that have been said.

     Reply

127. Stacy

     at

     It happens… A child is excited, inquisitive, they want to see more and they somehow step away. You look around and you think, ugh, again, and you call out for your child expecting him to be behind the next family’s stroller or crowded in with a cluster of children. It happens. Kids slip away, parent chase, corrale and have a constant eye on their kids… still it happens.
     But, let me ask you this? What if this was a school field trip where the adult to child ratio is 10 to 1 or even 5 to 1… sometimes a head count is needed to even determine if all the children have been accounted for. What then? Zoos are for families, they are for children. Small children should not in any way shape or form be able to lose themselves in their excitement and in any way shape or form be able to enter an animal habitat… I don’t care if we are talking about a bunny habitat or a lion habitat. It shouldn’t be a possibility.
     The fact that that animal is dead is 100% on the zoo. And quite honestly, if I were this parent, they would hear more from me than an I’m sorry. That zoo should be held fully responsible to any injuries that have occured to that child physically and emotionally, period.
     It is sad that an animal had to die, it is sad that they don’t have the ability to tranquilize animals on the spot in an emergency with any kind of immediate affect. But, when it comes right down to it, we are talking about an inocent child and innocent parents. Honestly, the fact that this poor family has to be further traumatized is ridiculous.

     Reply

128. Trish

     at

     Love this article. Thank you for being the one to shed light to those who don’t think before they speak. If this gorilla killed the little boy because they tranquilized , then everyone would be saying why didn’t they just shoot it. Yes, an endanger animal lost it life but a human life is not worth it? Of course the zoo didn’t want to shoot him but it was obviously the best choice at the time. Seriously if the out come was differently people would be out raged about something else. People just need something to talk about.

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129. Emilio

     at

     Thank you- the most sensible thing I’ve read about this whole ordeal.

     Reply

130. Tracey

     at

     I do understand what you had to say. But the reports coning out from people who were there are saying that the child told his mother several times he was going in. And it took more than an instant for this child to get through. I have been to this zoo many times. I do believe that once the child fell, this was the only choice. But this shouldn’t have gotten this far. She was not watching. Not my opinion. From words of people who were there.

     Reply

     • Amy H.

       at

       Tracey,
       So these people who were there paid enough attention at the moment it happened to be sure that the mother was not watching her child, but THEY did nothing to stop the child from climbing the fence? I’d blame them, then.

131. Qui

     at

     As a new mom I know that there have been moments where you gasp and thank God nothing happened in that brief moment. My son is nearly 2 and super fast and strong to my surprise. You can never imagine this happening to yourself….but countless parents who have had kids to drown in their pool thought the same, or just riding a bike and they fall with a helmet on and still die from injuries…..unexplainable things happen in a split second and no one can tell another parent how good or bad they are! Thank you for this letter. I believe that anyone who is a parent or raising kids on occasion think–wow that was a close call!!

     Reply

132. peggy

     at

     While I do feel bad that the mother is getting threats, I am wondering to myself why a child this young was not holding someone’s hand. My mother always had me and my brother by the hand in public places so we could not run around and act up. When I had my son, I always held his hand as well. Small children too easily walk off or touch things they should not………it is the parent’s responsibility to keep them close and keep an eye on them especially in areas like zoos and amusement parks.

     Reply

133. lynnette

     at

     I am an animal advocate and am deeply disturbed by all that transpired regarding this situation. Your words are kind and eloquent but we are a society quick to blame but also quick to make excuses.
     I am from a large family and have raised 4 children myself and yes occasionally a child wanders off or cuts themselves the ordinary mishaps.
     This was not an ordinary situation and this woman’s child had already voiced the desire to go into the gorillas safe zone…she should have been doubly aware and alert.
     While I do not believe in threatening another human being neither am I willing to give this woman a pass. Her son had to breach protected area and she was not doing her job as a responsible parent. I hate zoos or circuses and believe that if animals are to be confined that it be an animal sactuary.
     Due to the mothers irresponsible control of her son…and the actions of the zoo staff, a magnificent creature was lost. Rest in peace Harambe….

     I also believe the gorilla was protecting the child.

     Reply

134. Sally

     at

     Just an FYI. Jack Hanna, a world known wild animal expert and now works at the Columbus, OH Zoo, said that the Cincinati Zoo did the only thing possible in this situation. He said he has no doubt that the child would have been killed. Not saying the gorilla was meaning harm for the child. He was handling him as he would a baby of his own breed. A human baby can not take the same treatment as a baby gorilla.

     Reply

135. Mark

     at

     http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/latest-vigil-held-cincinnati-zoo-slain-gorilla-39484571

     Jack Hanna’s take on understanding the rationale of having to lay down the gorilla.

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136. Jen

     at

     The mother of this escaped child did not cause this gorillas death! This was a decision made by the zoo officials. She did not pull that trigger, she did not order it done. She in no way thought,”I know what I’ll do today. I’ll go to zoo and get a gorilla killed! Even more fun, let’s put our child in the enclosure and see how long he can live!” I do not feel anyone is being fair to this mother at all and my heart breaks for her.

     Reply

137. Lori

     at

     I do feel that the mother should take responsibility for losing her son. Yes, it could happen to any parent or caregiver, but she needs to acknowledge that the “buck stops” with her. None of us are perfect, but we need to recognize when we make mistakes, especially when those mistakes cause harm to others. She needs to apologize to the parents and children who witnessed the incident, and heard the kill shot as they were escorted out of the zoo. She should also apologize to the zoo for her son’s behavior, which caused the death of the gorilla. She needs to teach her son to make better choices, and give him the supervision that he clearly needs. She needs to set a better example for her son, so he does not end up with a rap sheet similar to his father ( He has been arrested several times- drugs, theft, etc).

     Reply

     • loreda

       at

       evently the zoo is not a safe place, if it was that child could not have got in, the family should go after the zoo , evently some of the mean people don’t have kids, if they did they would not be so mean to that family,

138. Jennifer Lane

     at

     Beautiful letter. I’ve felt appalled by the rush to judgment in condemnation of the mother. This could happen to anyone. I love your suggestion to turn this into a crusade for zoo safety.

     Reply

139. Jane

     at

     I find it truly amazing that within a few days of this tragic event for these parents that everyone is now an expert on child care, parenting, gorillas and zoo security. This was a deeply tragic ACCIDENT for all involved and is truly none of our business in the general public. If you were not in involved and did not witness exactly what happened in real time then back off these parents and go about the business of living your own life.

     Reply

140. Jacalyn

     at

     Finally, the voice of reason and compassion!

     Reply

141. Patrice

     at

     Unfortunately, we live in the day and age of pointing fingers, placing blame, and litigation. If you are going to argue that the parent can’t possibly watch 100% of the time and that things happen that can’t be foreseen, then you must also extend that to the Zoo. How long has that enclosure been there and how many other families have enjoyed the exhibit without incident?? If these parents want to say it is an accident, I am assuming they will NOT be suing the zoo. Right……

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142. Nancy

     at

     A simple piece of plexiglass around the fence so small children couldn’t squeeze through could have prevented the entire situation. The zoo is totally at fault and I’m sure the Lawyers are already lined up chomping at the bit to represent the family. Sad situation all the way around ,but before I judge the mother I should/would have to judge myself as well. For nobody is perfect.

     Reply

143. Sam

     at

     Kara. I’m so glad you posted this letter…because I too am tired of seeing all the hate thrown at this mother. You wrote it very well and brought up everything I’ve been saying. The biggest things to take away from all of this is that the 4 year old boy is alive, and that ACCIDENTS HAPPEN! I really hope the mother does read this letter and the comments because I’m sure she would find some peace from it. I thought about why didn’t they tranquilize the Gorilla but after reading how it may have taken too long and no one is sure how the wild animal would have reacted…I think they did what they thought sass best. The thing that bothers me the most is how a 4 year old actually got in! Can you even imagine the dreams that child is going to have…I guess I should say nightmares! Then you have people saying there shouldn’t even be zoos! I think that is sad! Zoos do a lot of great work with animals. Preservation, education and more. It’s amazing to take children to the zoo and see it through their eyes. Anyway, Kara…thanks for posting and may the parents and child find peace and may Harambe rest in peace.

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144. Leanna

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     I cannot imagine how this mother feels….to know in an instant her child was in imminent danger. How horrifying that had to have been to watch…especially as his mother. I am sure she feels some sense of guilt. But anyone who has young children, or has had young children, has to know how quick they are…in a blink of an eye they can disappear from your sight or be in danger. Not because you weren’t watching over them. Not because you don’t love them. Not because you don’t care. But because they are children who don’t sense danger in situations…that’s just how kids are. Your letter to her was beautifully written. I have no doubt many people have thought and felt the same as you…I applaude you for taking a step forward and writing it.

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145. Teri Myrick

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     I think that’s the best I’ve see and heard from the tragic accident. I think you are an awesome writer and I pray that you continue! I applaud your words of wisdom and comfort to the mother! T

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146. MeiYi

     at

     Exactly my sentiments! Thank you for voicing this out and being positive. We need more people like you to make the world a better place to live in. Let us all gather the love and blessings to everyone involved.

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147. Melissa

     at

     I have to say, my initial reaction was one of judgment. Then I had to look at myself – I have 4 kids and my youngest is an escape artist. He even got away from me once at the zoo – not because I wasn’t watching him. Another adult in our group was carrying him. A few minutes later, I was doing another head count of all the kids in the group and he was gone.

     I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, no matter how much media coverage there is, none of us will ever have enough information to justifiably lay blame anywhere. I’ve read several accounts of the events as bystanders witnessed them… They all differ slightly.

     This mother is probably replaying the day over and over in her head and blaming herself enough. The zoo – if they are honest with themselves – are also replaying the day and blaming themselves. There are multiple parties here and each can / should accept some of the responsibility. But it’s not our job to help them do that.

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148. Samantha

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     This was beautiful and so well written. As I sat here throughout the day, I too, like most of us, saw these horrible, hate filled comments toward this mother. I am baffled that there are so few people, embracing the life of this child or that any human being would weigh the life of an animal over that of a child. I absolutely can not fathom the horror this mother witnessed, that in itself is enough torment. That little boy should have never been able to enter the enclosure in the first place, and that is the zoo’s fault. Not to mention that a zoo is no place for an endangered animal, for the activists that argue the safety of the gorilla. It is so incredibly easy to lose sight of a child, in just an instant, they can slip away from even the most diligent of parents. I have yet to see a single parent comment on any of these threads, that would disagree with the decision of the zoo or that can not understand how quickly a crafty child can get away from us. It literally could have happened to anyone and my heart goes out to her and her family. I am glad that the boy is safe and unharmed, that is ultimately the most important detail in this entire story. I stand with you and I stand with the family of the little boy. I hope that the words of comfort from your article and others like it, are enough to soothe and cancel out the negativity. Excellent job and kudos to you for having the guts to stand up and speak out.

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149. Patrice

     at

     Thank you so much for your kind words of mercy and understanding to this mother! When my son was 3, he got away from me at the zoo. It wasn’t that I wasn’t watching him… I actually saw everything. But I was 8 months pregnant and he was just faster than me. Before I could catch him, he was inside the rhinoceros enclosure. I couldn’t believe how easy it was for him just as I’m sure this mom would never have expected her child to be able to get in to the gorilla habitat. It shouldn’t be possible. It was certainly a wake-up call for me, but should also be a wake-up call for zoos.

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150. Crystal

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     I never had hate towards the mother/parents or child. Of course there are a multitude of mixed emotions as well as questions going through my head. I think it was quite possibly a senseless death. I do feel as though he was trying to help the boy and keep him safe…but the fear of the child and the increasing emotions of the crowd brought along some possible fears to mind. He hadn’t been around young, so he wasn’t aware of how to fully bring them. He was just a teenager, just like a human teenager. He is quite possibly the reason the boy survived that fall because of his quickness to get to him after the fall. The boy could have very well drowned. But we can all give a million different scenarios…but it’s all in hindsight of what actually happened. So many “what ifs” that can be asked…but there is no guarantee of any outcome besides for the one that happened. I truly hope the boy’s parent, extended family and friends, do become an advocate for Harambe’s death and set standards for open air habitats barriers and scenarios. And that they don’t let the boy forget the entire incident so maybe he will fight to help the creatures so none have to die another senseless death. We all need to have empathy for the child, the mother, the family, friends, all the witnesses, the zoo workers who spent years caring for Harambe, the one(s) who had to carry out the action towards him, his handlers when he was first introduced into the world of human interaction, and all animals were which exist in this world. Harmony and peace is needed.

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151. Jeannie

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     I too agree. Everyone with children can relate. It is sad that an endangered animal had to lose his life, but it would have been a greater loss if the child had been lost. I also advocate for better enclosures that will better protect our animals as well as our children.

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152. Ray

     at

     I agree for the most part. They did the right thing killing the animal. The child’s safety should be the number one concern. And while I do agree that accidents happen, I don’t think that should excuse what happened. Last I heard there was posts of the parents being criminally charged. Hopefully this is true and she is charged the the fullest extent.

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153. Mimi

     at

     Very well said Kara,

     You said it loud and clear. I compleatly agree.

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154. Heaven

     at

     Tranqulizer dart can take up to 10 minutes to work and make the Gorilla Mir angry. Since when is the death of a gorilla more important than the death of a child. If the child had died you would be wondering why the gorilla wasn’t shot. There is no pleasing any of you. The gorilla died, it was awful, but I will always pick a human over any animal, so should you all. And for the mom, don’t listen to anyone that is condemning you. And to the little boy. You Amy be a handful, as are both of my children, but this wasn’t your fault either. Glad you are safe.

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155. Tina

     at

     If my child had ever mentioned going into an animals cage I would have immediately turned my full attention to my child and explained in great detail the dangers of doing so!!! I would not have said “no you are not” and turned my attention away. There is nothing as important as the safety of our children and I do not care what you say the Mother was negligent. If the child said he was going to run into a busy highway would she have said no and turned away?? I doubt it!! Seems to me the child was doing anything to get the Mothers attention and the Mother failed him. If the child had not told his Mother what he was going to do ahead of time and just did it that may be a different story but he announced it to her and she still failed to pay attention to him!!!

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156. Jo

     at

     Well said Kara – I too feel very sorry for all parties.
     The crazy thing is, most of the pen warriors would still have their pens in hand if the reverse scenario had happened and the boy had been killed, only then, they would have been baying for someone else’s blood! Initially I only saw the short version of the video & also wondered why they had been so quick to shoot this magnificent creature – once I had seen the longer version, where he dragged the child like a rag doll effortlessly through the water, I got a realistic view of the full magnitude of the event – had he not been in water he may well have sustained much greater injuries or worse.
     My first reaction was anger towards the lack of adult supervision, but, with reflection I was able to remember the time my 2yr son sidestepped my daughter as we were leaving our house & ran straight across the main road through our town, which miraculously, for that time of day was empty – it’s a moment I will never ever forget & I am eternally grateful no vehicles were around, that would have changed my life forever…
     We’re human – we make mistakes, we have regrets, we need to embrace empathy, tolerance and forgiveness.

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157. Tina

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     Yes, it is sad that that the Gorilla was shot, but if I were the mother and saw my child being drug through the water (even if that is what primates do with their young) , I would be totally losing it. Children do get away from us in a blink of an eye. I have had it happen to me personally. I was scared to death. Was I neglecting my child? NO!! For heavens sake NO!! People can be so cruel! They can be so heartless! We sit and judge. We can think oh if I were her my child would have never gotten over the fence or gotten away. Honestly, you don’t know what can happen. Every one of my boys are different in attitude. My oldest was my go go go child. He is also the one who took off on me. I could not tell you how many times I would sit down, to have to get straight back up because he was into something or climbing something or trying to ride the dog or cat. My list could go on. He is now 18 and will tell you himself he was a handful, but he grew up to be a blessing. Yes it is sad that the Gorilla had to be shot, but if that child had been killed that would have been even sadder. Could you imagine the horror, the fright, the “I want to get to my baby” that mother must have felt? I sure can!

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158. Jessica

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     Let’s look at this from another angle. What about all the bystanders? Kara your blog was beautifully written, kids do slip away easily. I know that feeling of panic when you turn your head for 2 minutes to get that something they asked for that fell to the bottom of your purse then once you find it they’re out of your sight; and your almost out of breath even if it’s 45 seconds later that you find him or her. But I know if I was at a public pool and a two year old fell in by the steps where the life guard generally isn’t watching and I would probably instinctively help or yell for someone nearby to do so. Why the heck didn’t someone pull that kid down!? I don’t care if some parent was gonna deck me for “parenting” their kid, I’m grabbing that kid and ripping him off that enclosure. Safer zoo conditions?? SMH Do you want the zoo to be realistically affordable? I imAgine the distance between the ground and fence on the side of the gorilla was much different to ensure he would stay enclosed. Seriously how far do we go to fight arrogance on everyone’s part?

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     • Tavia Weatherly

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       My attention goes to the same place as yours. This was a horrific event all the way around. Our society is so scared to get involved or just doesn’t care. Common sense and general humanity is what is going extinct. One of the 20 plus people watching the gorillas could of with scooped the boy up or scream for the attention of the distracted parent. .

159. Cathie

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     Thank you Kara I feel the same way. Unless you are a perfect parent (there is no such thing) your kids can get away from you in a heart beat. I think.it was a shame that the gorilla had to be shot, but they had to take care of the child. I hope that the mom of the boy reads your wonderful letter to her. Take care

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160. Kathleen

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     To all the mothers who have never had their child get out of there site for a minute, great job! Unfortunately, not everyone can say that, most mothers have had their child slip out of their site even if only for a few seconds. Accidents happen everyday, look at all the child drownings every year that happen, they are considered tragedies and most feel terrible for the families loss. You hardly ever hear hatred towards the mother when an accident like that happens. This was also a tragedy,the toddler quickly crawled under the bushes and fell in with the gorilla. The mother watched feeling helpless; she was not the one who made the decision to kill the gorilla. The zoo should have a secure fence all around the exhibit that would prevent anyone from ever falling in.

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161. Jill

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     Interesting perspective, but I just can’t feel sorry for the parents..their boy is still alive which is a blessing….things could have gone SO much worse for them.

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162. Karen

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     Thank you ! Thank you ! Thank you ! I’m crushed by the hatred and bitterness amongst us. You wrote this so beautifully and I back you up 100 percent!

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163. Rita Shearstonee

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     You did nothing wrong, all of us parents at least once have loss sight of our kids . But I would of jumped in the pit to get his attention away from my kid. . And yes I’m the kind who would give up my life to save my child.

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164. Char

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     I have seen some say “the voice of reason finally” and I sooo agree with them and you. A child can get away from a parent in the blink of an eye. Ask John Walsh whose son, Adam got away from his wife.This was a male which arent maternal. They got the females into their night enclosure, had the male went in, it would have been more dangerous to the boy. Had they tranquilized the gorilla, it would have agitated him more and really been a danger to the boy. Unfortunately, this was the only best case scenario to get the boy safely out and away from him. Believe me, they did not want to shoot it, he was a very rare species.

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165. Marti

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     Even the best parent makes mistakes, some are just unfortunate enough to have it be this tragedy-in the public eye. Can you not imagine, her fault or not, how wretched this woman feels and how long she’ll blame herself? No wonder our society, mothers in particular, feel such guilt regardless if their parental success or not when in reality we pay more and closer attention to our children than any other generation in the past. Where is your compassion??? Because I’m sorry, I believe that any parent who could even fathom neglecting, let alone endangering the life of their child is the rare exception rather than the rule!

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166. Patrice

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     Imagine a gorilla being shot by a dart and not knowing where it came from while holding your child. Will it lash out at the child for hurting it? That chance is why they decided to shoot it. If I were the zookeeper in charge of that call, I would have made the same one. And I would have been really sad about it, but it was the only option for the safety of the 4 year old child. And it REALLY sucks. But I am glad that boy is safe. I hope the zoo changes their enclosure security. Chicken wire isn’t expensive… just sayin!

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167. Shirley

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     I too agree with the author of this articale, Being a mom is alot of work and yes accidents can happen. I had it happen to me. We was camping and went down to a swimming pond and had a 2 1/2 year old, a 6 year old and a 8 year old. The two year old was up on the beach area, playing with toys and running up a hill and playing with a tree sapling, we thought it was safe to work with the 6 year old and the 8 year old on their swimming, teaching them to swim, we turned our backs for only moments and my baby was gone, My oldest son screamed he is floating in the pond. My husband knew CPR because he was a licenced fire fighter, nevertheless, we took our eyes off him for just minutes. My husband had him brought back too, before the ambulance had arrived on scene, but it goes to show, it only takes just split seconds for a small child to disappear. Hence why we have so many small children abducted . Please, if your a young parent, dont under estimate your little ones. It happends to the best of parents.

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168. Susan

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     This was very well written. My first reaction to seeing the footage was sadness, then anger at the zoo people for shooting the gorilla, then I realized if it was my child or grand child, I wouldn’t have wanted them to wait to see what was going to happen or wait for a tranquilizer to settle him. Then when I saw even more footage and saw that huge gorilla yanking that child through the water like a rag doll, I was even more on board with them shooting him to save the child. I am still really sad he had to be killed. It was a tragic event that could’ve ended up much more tragic with a dead gorilla and a dead child. Any parent that judges this mother needs to get off their high horse and look back at all of the times they turned their back for a moment and realize how lucky they are, instead of “what a bad parent” she was.

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169. Adell

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     It’s so very hard. But WHAT IF???? What if they had NOT euthanased the Gorilla? What if he had mauled or killed the child? I realise everyone would still be pointing the finger at the mother. But what an awful way to die, and what an awful spectacle it would have been. How can anyone say in all honesty the Gorilla was protecting the child? That’s a ridiculous statement. You can’t get inside the head or brain of the animal. For goodness sakes, the child is safe. The mother is glad her child is safe. So am I. I had 3 kids and think I was a great mother. But sometimes I wonder how they survived childhood.

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170. Carmen

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     You say accidents happen we all make mistakes because we are human…. Why is it when ever we have accidents or make human mistakes an animal has to die. Not just the gorilla but any animal. We also must remember just because we are human doesn’t make us better or right. Say what you want it was a senseless ending for a majestic animal. To me this is another good reason to get rid of zoos , circuses , and marine parks. None of them are able to replace an animals natural habitat. Totally unnecessary.

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     • IdahoLaura

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       Many animals are in zoos because of being injured, because their “natural habitat” is disappearing AND because where gorillas are, they are being poached into extinction.

       Google gorilla extinction and see what is happening to them, elephants and other species and learn something before commenting without knowing the real situation. Have you donated money to organizations that are trying to keep them viable and living in the wilderness? Most people don’t think about them. Zoos help support those in the wild.

171. Renee

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     I agree with you 100%! For the mom that always held their childs’ hand, that’s wonderful. But we all know that you are not perfect and there has been at least one time in their lives that you turned your head, or took your eyes off your child for one second, so don’t pretend that you are. As for the other comment about dragging the boy, that may be how a silver back does his own, but if it was your child, would you want to wait to see what he does next? I love animals as much as anyone, but I would not want to wait and see. Now if those parents were sitting on a bench, playing games on their cell phones, then yes, they were negligent. But if not, it was clearly an accident, a mistake ALL humans make. No one is perfect, and that is why we are human!

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     • IdahoLaura

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       Many animals are in zoos because of being injured, because their “natural habitat” is disappearing AND because where gorillas are, they are being poached into extinction.

       Google gorilla extinction and see what is happening to them, elephants and other species and learn something before commenting without knowing the real situation. Have you donated money to organizations that are trying to keep them viable and living in the wilderness? Most people don’t think about them. Zoos help support those in the wild.

172. DJ

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     Zoos educate, bring awareness to the fact that animals natural habitats are being destroyed and provide a haven to animals who would not make it in the wild. While I do not believe this mother should be receiving hate mail, I do believe she should be held responsible for her part in the situation. When he said he wanted to go into the exhibit she should have held his hand instead of choosing to take a picture. I have been to the Cincinnati Zoo many times. It is safe. In 38 years they had never had a breach. This child was determined to do something he told his mother he was going to do. She should have listened to him. It is a zoo with wild animals you can not afford to lose track of your kids there. I have raised 6 children, 2 high energy with a natural tendency for risky behavior. I get it. Kids are fast. You have to hang on to them. Period. This poor child will be forever traumatized & the gorilla was doing what gorillas do. Now he is dead. no winners here. Sad all the way around.

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173. Jean

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     I am a military wife, I know literally hundreds of moms, besides myself. I don’t know ONE that hasn’t had a child “disappear” briefly. Seems more people reacting to this have “never” lost sight of their child. I think that must be a falsehood…they only didn’t lose sight of their child and have it end in tragedy, or no one else caught them losing sight. If there was even the slightest chance a person could that effortlessly breach the enclosure…the negligence is on the zoo.

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174. Enrique

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     People don’t learn. Seaworld and its many “accidents” have been lessons reminding us that animals and the endangered ones belong in sanctuaries or protected reserves not zoos. Why should a gorilla which is in his own “habitat” pay for a human mistake? Tranquilizers take too much time? The news stories say the child spent about 10 minutes with the gorilla unharmed. If you ask me after seeing the video, the child is probably more hurt from the fall than from the gorilla’s handling. So long for another endangered gorilla.
     Besides … What makes us humans better or to think we own other species?

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175. Jaymi

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     One million times over so I believe the parent is at fault here and should be held liable for the death of an animal that is endangered already. She can meet me face to face and I will still feel that way.

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176. Donna

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     I know I will do whatever it takes to protect my child. I’d kill whatever I thought was going to hurt my babies. That’s what mothers do …protect their young God gave us that instinct I’m sorry the animal had to die but man, humans need to leave the wild in the wild.

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177. dawn

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     What a beautiful letter. At last someone who speaks some common sense. your children are so lucky to have such a lovely wise mother like yourself/

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178. Lelia

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     Thank you for writing this <3

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179. Michael

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     I am the father of four children, and I can say that I HAVE lost sight of my kids in public. In one instance, my oldest daughter walked away to dance with the mascot at a local minor league baseball game, in the other I noticed my second daughter was missing as she walked up on stage to see the “Kool Aid Man” at a local event. I screwed up, but here is what I am NOT hearing. IT WAS MY FAULT. It was not the fault of the baseball stadium and its design, nor was it the fault of the special event that enticed my Jessica to go see Kool Aid Man. I was not as vigilant as I needed to be with my kids in public. MY fault. PERIOD. There are SO many more questions about this mother. We have heard that she had ten kids with her that day. Her kids. family kids, school kids, why so many? Was there ANY chance she was on her phone at the time. Guess what, if she decides to sue the Zoo for this, that will be an issue. How many other adults were present? What were they doing at the time the boy wandered away? I have volunteered for multiple school trips for my kiddos over the years (After the two aforementioned incidents.) Typically, I had about five kiddos to watch over and supervise. We went on trips to the Grand Canyon, Native American Reservations, Amtrak trips, trips to historic caves and campgrounds. I made it my ULTIMATE responsibility to watch the kids in my charge. There was no checking my Facebook, checking my mail, NOTHING that took my eyes off my group. Did this mom do that? Until we know more, the only thing she should be an “advocate” for is diligent parenting in public, aggressive monitoring on field trips, and putting your phone in your purse or pocket and leaving it there. If you are using it as a camera, that will work on Airplane mode. Don’t be so quick to back her play until ALL of the facts are in

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     • DJ

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       I agree! 100% Knowing your limits is the first step to a safe trip anywhere! without truly knowing the full story I can feel bad that this situation happened but clearly there were issues with the mom’s choices. Maybe we need get all the facts before encouraging her to become an advocate for zoo safety.

180. June

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     I couldn’t agree more with this letter…Very well said and written…None of us are perfect parents and accidents do happen…I am a huge animal lover but my children come before anything or anyone…

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181. Bob

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     The parent owns a lot of the blame. She was negligent. I know when I was little and I ran off my mother would have had my tail. Kids today aren’t diciplined but medicated and set in front of tvs or cell phones as babysitters. It’s been years since I’ve been able to go to a store and not see at least a half a dozen kids acting like hooligans and parents trying to bribe them with toys or candy if they be good, which never works. Actual parenting is rare these days. Everyone just wants to be buddy buddy with their kids.
     As far as zoo’s are unnecessary…….. when was the last time anyone here gave money to a research facility or conservation effor for animals? Exactly. Zoo’s serve as an anti-out of sight out of mind scenario.
     Now I’m not saying that she holds all the blame but her hands aren’t clean either.

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182. Patrice

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     This is written with 100% truth. This mom or person the child was with did not tell the child to do this so he would die. My heart goes out to each of the people involved, the little boy, his family, the zoo keepers, and the decision makers that made the decision.

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183. Phil

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     Well written. Let love win. Show mercy. The death of the gorilla is sad, but human life is priceless.

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184. JLopine

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     Doesn`t this give pause to the reasons we still feel the need to have zoos that take these animals from their natural environment, and put them into an enclosure (that in no way duplicate nature, for our convenience and entertainment)…petting zoos with domesticated animals like barnyard animals are fascinating for children. Animals that cannot be returned to the wild should be sent to sanctuaries where they can live out their lives in environments conducive to their natural environment. We need to leave wild species in their countries of origin and natural habitat.

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185. Terry Quinn

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     Thank you so much for writing this. I have been so angry at the lynch mob. It is inexcusable that people can be so mean and nasty to this poor woman.
     I pray none of them is ever faced with losing their child. There is nothing like the loss of your child. It changes your life forever to a heart ache that cannot be quenched.
     Yes it is sad an animal died. I love animals. But in the wilderness it is survival of the fittest and animals die daily at the hands of other animals. We don’t get too upset about that. But let a mom make a simple mistake of not watching her child for a second and a tragedy happens at the hands of man and everyone is all in an uproar.
     They are taking it all out on the mom. I pray for her. She didn’t deserve all this. I wonder how anyone of the bullies in the lynch mom would like to have the whole world come down on them for a mistake that they made? There is a truth in the universe that we reap what we sow.
     I feel like I want to hug this mom. I have raised nine children, four by birth and five adopted and I have one son that was a master at escaping me. We did lose him in a crowd at the zoo when he pulled his hand out of mine and disappeared into a large crowd of people and someone scooped him up and took him to the main office. It was terrifying to say the least and I didn’t make any mistake. My son left my hand and ran into a crowd in a split second.
     Where is the grace people? We are human.
     Calling for this mom to be prosecuted or put to death instead of the gorilla is just downright evil. You who played a part in this behavior are far worse off then the mom. For your actions are evil and hers were a mistake.
     God bless this mom please and give her grace to walk through this valley and triumph over all the evil that is being spewed out on her. Show her that YOU love her God and you will make good out of all this bullying that is going on.
     While you are at it God, please bless all of the bullies who are self righteous and think they are right about lynching this mom. Show them your grace and love too.
     Thank YOU for saving her little boy. In Jesus Name amen!

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186. Emily

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     Ok, I agree that their shouldn’t be so much hate on the mother, but for those of you blaming the safety of the enclosure, you have obviously never been to the Cincinnati zoo. The enclosure is very safe considering that their is a drop that is at least fifteen feet between the people and the exhibit, and honestly the drop probably hurt the child more then the gorilla. So please stop blaming the zoo because most people, including children should be able to see a 15+ ft drop and know better. Also, they had to shoot the poor creature because a tranquilizer would have made the gorilla angry and in the several minutes it would have taken to go into effect the gorilla could have hurt or killed the kid. So I don’t think the mother should get all this hate but I don’t think people should shift the blame on the zoo either.

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187. Kevin P

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     I agree with most of what you have said except for no blame being directed at the mother. I have 7 kids myself and yes I have lost 1 on occasions. I have also worked in a zoo for nearly 10 years before moving into my current field of at risk/disabled child protection. I know the protocols and thoughts behind what happened and even know personally the guy who made the decision and it is killing him. I also know that most situations are much different in regards to the child. When your young child slips off when you are watching him/her it is regrettable but when said child says to you I want to go swimming with the gorillas you don’t say that’s nice dear and go back to drinking your latte and gossiping with your friends. That is neglect. Yes barriers are in place but we all know the resourcefulness of children and you watch them and LISTEN to what they say because they are very literal in what they speak. This is a tragedy that could have been avoided by just a little more vigilance on the mothers behalf. And for her to be attempting to sue the zoo for her own lack of care is just ridiculous. As far as Harambe and the child is concerned, yes he was protecting the child just as he would an infant gorilla but we aren’t built like gorillas and the “protection” in his agitated state would likely have killed the child where an infant gorilla would be unharmed. Blame where blame belongs, the only error made was by the mother.

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188. Sandy

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     Thank you for showing compassion to that mom. Unfortunately compassion seems to be lacking in today’s society. I personally am sick of those who claim they have never taken their eyes off of their children in public and claim to be perfect parents. I have never met a parent who hasn’t made mistakes with their children and I just wish they would stop attacking this poor woman.

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189. Dawn

     at

     I love your article. I also have a question to ask those whom have decided it is their job to place themselves ar such superiority over other mothers. When did “mom shaming” become the game of the day. I don’t care what happened that day. Other than this, a horrific accident happened. Somehow a child was able to get over and into the protective area of the gorilla cage /enclosure. And I can promise you this, as a mom that just recently lost her child to death. I would have personally pulled the trigger to save my child’s life from the illness that quickly and unexpectedly took her from us. Same way I would have pulled the trigger to shoot the gorilla to save my child. And then if you were to send me HATE mail, I would give you the address to the closest zoo and let you have your Child go live with the gorilla. People this mom is hurting right now. She will forever live with this guilt. Yes her child lived and trust me I am so happy he did. I don’t want any parent to walk this grief road but this one action will haunt her forever and at unexpected times. So just leave her alone. Or better yet” put yourself in her shoes.

     Reply

190. Sheri

     at

     I was just speaking to my husband about this very thing! I said exactly what you said, except as I read it the baby already had been thrown around and had multiple injuries so the zoo personnel thought it best to be quick. I am a HUGE animal lover and I am deeply saddened by this tragedy, but I’m sorry human life trumps animal life every time!
     This mother is human, and she didn’t just let her child run wild! Zoos are packed and as a mother of a child that got lost at 2 different zoos , one on a school field trip, and one with her aunt…it can happen in a blink of the eye! Did I lay blame to the teacher or my sister, no! Kids wonder it’s part of parenting. I would just like to add that Jesus stated those who are not guilty cast the first stone. NOBODY could cast a stone…everyone messes up, but it’s okay because that’s how we learn.
     Thank you for your open letter, I truly hope the mother reads it!

     Reply

191. Nikki.l.Del

     at

     I would like to say that is a beautiful letter and so true. As I look on face book today of many posting and bashing this mother. It blows my mind that half of these women bashing this mother acting like they are so perfect and saying hold your kids hand. How about to those that want to put there two cents in and put this mother down maybe you women should say nothing to those who do not even have custody of there own children. So quick to bash

     Reply

192. Deborah

     at

     This is not the first time a child has fallen into a Gorilla enclosure. I recall something similar years ago and in that incident the gorilla was female and carried the child to the door where the animals entered and exited their outside pen.

     http://cw33.com/2016/05/30/watch-mama-gorilla-saves-3-year-old-boy-who-fell-into-pit-in-1996/

     Reply

193. Shawn

     at

     Kara, thank you for writing what so many of us would like to say to mom and dad of the boy.

     No parent can be perfect. It is not possible. Even if you have only one child to supervise it takes less than half a second for an exuberant child to pull away and place themselves in danger. Add in another child or two and the ability to be in perfect control is impossible. Any experienced parent who says otherwise has white washed their memories. Luckily for most of us our children survive these lapses of control and we tend to forget these moments because… there was nothing memorable that came out of these moments. Its called “good enough parenting”. On a system of averages our parenting is good enough so that we raise physically and mentally healthy children to adulthood despite momentary lapses of control or judgement.

     Mom of the little boy: forgive yourself for whatever infraction you are probably kicking yourself for (I know. We have all been there and we are our own worst critics) I hope you are able to help your son deal with the trauma he has experienced.

     And to the rest of the negative judgemental mob that is out there get a grip. Who the hell are you to pass judgment. There is no perfection when it comes to parenting. Get from behind your computer and treat this family as you would want to be treated if unforseen circumstances resulted in a tragedy or near tragedy to you or someone you loved.

     This family had the right to trust that their child could absolutely not breach the enclosure. A half second of inattention should not have been enough for a child to breach the enclosure. Maybe such an incident has never occurred at this zoo but they learned a costly heart breaking lesson. No animal enclosure should have any space that is accessible and big enough for a small head to fit through. Enclosures have to be examined for the ability for any child or mentally unstable adult to get through, over or under. Hopefully the zoo will survey all of their animal enclosures and prevent any similar devastating incidents.

     Reply

194. Nikole Matinzo

     at

     I am so happy that you wrote this. This is exactly how I feel… there are people who understand ? please do not give up being a wonderful strong woman and most importantly MOMMY!! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

     Reply

195. James

     at

     I’ve read all the comments, here is the run down, tranquilizers vs shooting, you dart an animal and it takes a few minutes to take effect. By this time the animal would have killed the child. Now about zoos, say what you will. Endangered species make it to zoos because that is the only place where they are truly safe. Natural reserves still have poaching and animal trafficking problems. As for the mother, the punishment she is facing is devastation. I was a cop and find no fault other than being human. So haters shut up, because maybe you should be found guilty of voluntary manslaughhter if she ends up commuting suicide or even manslaughhter in the 2nd degree. Why don’t you figure out why animals are endangered anyway. They didn’t do it to themselves. I know more about endangered species than most of you. I’ve worked with all kinds. Back off the mother and let her try to move forward. Your attacks are sickening, and some could be considered verbal assualts.

     Reply

196. Fab

     at

     Wow!so true ppl r so judgemental! If that was my kid my motherly instinct would have reached for anything to knock that haraumbe out lol!

     Reply

197. Kelli

     at

     Wow. People really are crazy. I enjoyed your article, because it is sensible, and kind. I have 3 boys. We travel & explore on a regular basis. I’ve never had an accident with them, except ONE broken leg while on a ski trip. It’s not because I’m a perfect mother. I’m only human, just as this mother. Maybe she made a mistake. I’ve made a few, no matter how careful I have tried to be. It’s a terrible thing that happened and the only way it could be worse is if that little boy had been seriously hurt or killed.
     Accidents happen fast. Really, really fast. Sometimes they have irreversible consequences – this is a sad one. It was actually the zoos responsibility to protect the animal, btw. A four year old child, parent or not, should NOT have been able to get into a gorilla enclosure. Thank the Lord, there was a solution on hand to save him.

     Reply

198. Beka

     at

     Ok I may not be a mother but I know for sure that it’s not easy to keep your eyes on your children every second. And to the people that are bashing this poor woman you all should be ashamed of yourself how dare you pass judgement knowing that no body is perfect.

     Reply

199. keith

     at

     You are 100% correct. .It is a sad situation .But he childs life is always a first priority.Plus it’s not like this happens enugh for them to be fully prepared .So they acted in the quickest way they could .And I also agree Harambe was protecting him I find it a shame the child managed to be able to get I there at all..Which should not be possible..And I also do not see why they do not have a tranquilizer strong enough to act quickly .

     Reply

200. Melinda

     at

     Such Truth To Your Words… I Think Just As You Stated About Being Scared To Opeen It To Read… I Know I Would Have Been After All The Lashing Out, Tongue Slashing, Ridicule, Hateful Hateful, Ugly Rude Things Said To This Lady, This Mom, This Mother…

     This Is The Most Well Written, Most Respectful , & Compassionate Response I’ve Read Thus Far.. I Pray That She Can Find Piece Within Herself And I Also Pray For The Ones Lashing Out Never Has To Go Through The Ordel That She Has Had To….

     Reply

201. Deb

     at

     Every Zoo has stated that they did the right thing. Public safety first. And that the dart would have more than likely agitated him even more. Le t it go already. It go was a horrible accident. For the gorilla and the child.

     Reply

202. Joey's Mom

     at

     I lost a child 40 years ago. Thank you for your kind words for this mom. I’m ever so thankful she doesn’t have to go through life with the guilt and horror that I’ve lived through and will till my dying day.

     Reply

203. Kasey

     at

     Very well said. As an animal lover, I’m saddened by the death of the gorilla. However, how can the life of an animal compare to that of a child? What has happened to our society that we value the life of a gorilla over that of a human being?! Who are we to judge this mother for letting go of her child for a split second? What mother hasn’t lost sight of her child and felt that sickening feeling of pure panic? Any mother who says she hasn’t, either hasn’t been a mom long enough for it to happen to her or is a liar! This poor mother has just experienced a horrible tragedy, one that could’ve ended so differently. She could’ve very easily lost her child! Shouldn’t we be rejoicing the fact that this child wasn’t harmed and this mother isn’t now planning a funeral? Yes, this was preventable, but most accidents are! The blame doesn’t fall solely on this mother. The zoo is also at fault, but on the end, the child is alive. That’s what should matter most! I hope this mother can rise above the comments of a warped society and embrace the love and life of her child who most likely escaped death.

     Reply

     • Jerry

       at

       It is great the child survived–can’t imagine what that mother was going through when she found out her child was in there. However, I wonder how a child could break through to a gorilla enclosure? Why did it not happen more often? When it comes to animals, I also think we are losing many more to habitat loss than a zoo keeper shooting 1. With world population growth and urban sprawl, I think many of these endangered animals will be gone in a few decades anyway, as forests are cut down for housing developments, etc. Perhaps zoos can just have statues of animals to show future generations what use to live on the planet.

204. Emily

     at

     I keep reading the news stories. I honestly think that the zoo is using the death of this gorilla to avoid a lawsuit. A small child should not have been able to get through a fence. Everyone keeps blaming the mother…but maybe the designers of the gorilla’s habitat should have focused more on function tham form….

     Reply

205. Patrice

     at

     I was actually one (or the) one who mentioned leashing your child. And what I meant by that was that it is sad that in today’s society, people feel that the practice is inhumane and look down upon parents who do this. It’s sad because I completely understand the need to leash a child. It does take only a split second…

     And I completely agree with the question of how the child managed to get to the point where he could fall in the enclosure in the first place. And as a parent, I would demand answers. Perhaps the gorilla couldn’t have scaled the wall.. but that doesn’t mean someone can’t fall in.. obviously.

     Accidents happen. And for everyone that screams they are “Pro-life” how is this any different? They chose to save the child. Noone knows what the gorilla was doing.. but even if he was protecting him, the chances were weighed if he could survive the gorilla’s “protective behavior”.

     I am truly sorry for your loss.

     Reply

206. Cynthia

     at

     What if that was my child or my grandchild or better than than that I ask this question? Would you want a gorilla dragging your love one through water or even handling your love one without you being able to save your love one or picture no one respond to help? A innocent life was saved and yes the gorilla life was taking but just mentally walk a mile in the parents situation. From my understanding the father was right with the mother, yet many people blame mom. I feel people should show more kindness to the fact that a child life didn’t become a tragedy. My heart goes out to the little boy and his family. What if they used a tranquilizer and the gorilla harm the child? 400 lbs animal with a innocent injured child may never want to go to another zoo or leave his parent side. I just pray for complete recovery.

     Reply

207. Diane

     at

     I think your letter spoke volumes of love,mercy, and understanding. Too many times in this world we speak from a place of total reaction and judgement without time for pause. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all take time to consider the position others are in and what they might be facing before we rushed to judgement? Wouldn’t that be an amazing place to live in? We can only pray for such a place. In the meantime I hope we can all learn from your letter about understanding and compassion for our fellow man. I for one will be more conscious of my words because of your letter. God bless you Kara

     Reply

208. Theresa S

     at

     Well written. This was a tragic accident. Accidents happen people. I am an animal lover too but come on people, a child’s life was at risk. My heart is warmed to know that someone with their priorities in order saved that child’s life!!!!

     Reply

209. Melina

     at

     Very well written! Thank you for writing and posting this! I agree!

     Reply

210. kitty

     at

     As a mother of two grown girls, a 10 yr old granddaughter and currently a nanny, I know kids are sometimes not obedient, and can try to break free from us. I know my children and if I felt they wouldn’t obey, I would bring someone to help me or just not go. The scary thing is I see parents everywhere that are not watching their children, or they think Target is a playground. They are shopping and not watching their children, or talking to someone while their kids are running through the store. It baffles me. I would never let my kids misbehave like this. I would leave and let them know that until they behave, they are not coming back. I even saw two moms chatting, with their backs turned partly, while their 4 kids where running on a raised wall that was around the pond. Really horrible parenting to not tell their children to get down because they will hurt themselves or even better, how about not destroying property?
     I read that this mother was arguing with their child about climbing the wall to the cage? That would be when I said, we are going home. Not, let me take a picture and keep your hand in my pocket! That’s not good parenting, that convenience. I’m not saying people should threaten this Mom, but she should be held accountable for the actions of her child, when damage is done. But maybe I’m old fashioned in the thought that parents should be held accountable for their children while they are in their care.

     Reply

211. Jott

     at

     Beautifully written Ms. Kara. In reading about this story from the press and the comments full of hate, I’m convinced that alot comes from being racist. Would the mother get hate mail and threats had she been white? Definitely not! We live in a world where the unexpected is to be expected. I am sorry the gorilla was put down, but it was to save a kid! Ehat if it had been yours? To threaten this woman is crazy! Focus more on where you will spend eternity and less on trying to get your voice heard on something that had to be done. Remember who’s in control? God isand He said in His word that everything has a season.

     Reply

212. Hisham

     at

     Goes to show no matter how old people are, bullies will always exist!!!

     Reply

213. Dee Street

     at

     I was not there the day this happened nor do I know what was happening right before the child slipped away. I do mourn the loss of such a beautiful creature as an avid animal lover. I also mourn the loss of compassion and support among us “higher beings” as a human race. This world is always looking for someone to hate, someone to blame. Its sad. Congrats to those of you who have been luckier on your moral high ground. God gives us these situations not to punish but to see how those involved and those around respond. What if he came back after your last comment? Could you look him in the eye? And if you dont belive in a God, then how about ridding the world of just your corner of hatred? I pray none of us are judged so harshly for our mistakes when we meet our maker!

     Reply

214. Rita

     at

     I would totally agree with you but for the fact that witnesses said that the boy kept saying he was going in and the mother ignored him. At this point I think that it is best to just be grateful that the child is alive & well and mourn the loss of a majestic animal. The zoo did what they thought was best to save the child and hatred toward anyone (including the mother) is uncalled for. I hope she does read your letter – I’m sure she’s feeling pretty badly about the whole thing.

     Reply

215. Vince

     at

     Hi Kara,

     We are all at fault to think we can cage in or tie up animals — whether we’re talking of gorillas, crocodiles, birds or dogs. It may be one thing to corral animals for livestock purposes. In the end, it is how we treat them and how we treat our relationships with them that makes us humans and not, well, also animals..

     If we confine them so we can eventually eat them or benefit from their meat, milk or eggs, we have the responsibility to treat them as nobly as we would treat them as beings who sacrifice their lives for our well-being. There is much that animal-rights activists can say about that. Nevertheless, the economics dictate that artificial shelters are preferable over natural pasture lands or wide farms where such farm animals can be free to graze and run around.

     On the other hand, confining or caging animals so we can gawk at them or photograph them is another matter. Hence, when it comes to gorillas, we just need to watch Jurassic Park and realize how we have not totally resolved the issues of human-animal relationships, especially when it comes to entertainment issues. Our responsibility resides not merely in determining the right technology or economic value of managing zoos and ocean parks but in respecting the original design of Nature and the balance that must be maintained to preserve the rights of humans and the coming generations, as well as the rights of animals and their future. We cannot visualize a future without animals, tame or wild.

     Animals will always be animals. Humans will always be humans. And since we hardly know what being human means, how do we expect to know what being an animal means. Accidents will happen. Some seem to lean toward preserving the gorilla’s life instead of the child’s; while others naturally favor the child’s. That in itself tells us how different we humans are from each other. Was the gorilla trying to protect the child? Was it going to kill the child if he had been left alone? Who knows? We may never know as we see or experience other such incomprehensible situations in life.

     What we know is that the human-animal relationship has been corrupted from its former innocent state. We have become enemies of animals as well as of the environment. Whose fault was it? Do we remember at all? We have also become enemies of other humans whom we consider dangerous to our interests. We know who is at fault in this case. Why do we keep fences from our neighbors? Why do we buy guns? Why do we go to war?

     Grieve if we must because a gorilla has died. Rejoice — as we should — if we choose to because a child has been spared. But to confuse our emotions and even reverse them in order to suit our unnatural or erratic human passions would prove to be inimical to the order that we all seek and work for in society. Injecting anger, hatred and confusion into the matter will only make learning our hard-earned lessons only more difficult.

     Your letter has helped accomplish such a healing and learning process to a high degree. Thanks.

     vince

     Reply

216. Mickie

     at

     I ask you to consider one thing. The mother trying to justify what happened by saying I only took my eyes off him for one minute so I could take a photo is like trying to justify a fatal head-on collision by saying I only took my eyes off the road for one minute so I could send a text! Both are tragic accidents, but texting while driving is a crime. What she did, though a tragic accident, should also be a crime. It could happen to anyone you say, well per eye witness accounts, while she was taking a photo, her child managed to take his hand out of his mom’s back pocket, get at least ten feet away from her, “flop” over a fence railing and crawl three feet through the grass and over the ledge before she called out his name the first time. Other people stood there and watched and made no move to stop the child. Once inside the enclosure, the gorilla sees something new in his space and begins to pull the child through the moat. The zoo personnel decided that since attempting to tranquilize the animal would take additional time to accomplish and put the child at risk of probable death, the only means of immediate rescue was the death of the gorilla. An accident? Yes. But it should have never happened. Mom knew her child was especially enamored with the gorillas and had decided against taking him into the gorilla house, going instead to the outdoor overlook. She should have had her hands on her child the whole time. A four-year old’s hand in her back pocket is just not adequate supervision at that age. Sorry, I believe she is responsible.

     Reply

     • Beth

       at

       This mother is apparently the only one on earth who has ever taken a photo or two at a family outing. Well, there are actually two, because I sure did. I also took my eyes off my kids for several seconds every time I needed to go to the bathroom at home…shhhhh don’t tell. All you who have worked out this “never ever ever ever take your eyes off your kids for even a second” are just so amazingly wonderful parents. I’m jealous.

217. Kenny O

     at

     I agree with everything you said, 100%!! To all the people who think tranquilizer needed to be used instead of killing it… It would take 3 mins for the tranquilizer to take effect on a #400 animal. If it was your kid, would you seriously want them to take the chance that it would not get aggressive during those three mins. If it’s my child, I would take no chance at all, you pull the trigger every time. You don’t take chances with the life of your child. Tragic for the gorilla, sad actually, but necessary!

     Reply

218. LaRonica Birmingham

     at

     Thank you for taking the time write such a thoughtful and warm letter. I am sure she needed it. People do not realize I am sure she is beating herself up and really shouldn’t. Like you stated we are human and humans should trump animals in a situation like that. I hated that it had to end in such a way but in today’s world no matter what you do if it goes (Public) there will be negative and positive comments. Thanks for showing that family some love. Wish more people could have a heart and their own mind. Let’s end the mob mentality Please …Thanks

     Reply

219. Awnryprincess

     at

     Something this story has brought to light that is honestly irrelevant in relation to the events that occurred is how self righteous and how ugly some people can be. It isn’t limited to animal rights activists or those who ae against the mom… it is equally represented among all. I don’t understand how it occurred, yet I was not there when the situation occurred. I raised 5 boys and yes it is easy to turn for a split second and one into something. Myself – in such a situation – with a child of that age – I’d have had a hand on them – so I knew where they were at but that is me. It takes a split second for things to change. There is clearly a curious and determined child at the middle of this situation. This child not only got out of mom’s radar – but was missed by how many bystanders??? The zoo hasn’t had such an issue for 38 years so why believe it wasn’t secure? Unfortunately, this little one showed them it ws and there needs to be some serious discussions and actions for which to eliminate future incidents. The gorilla – maybe he was really trying to protect the little boy, maybe he was playing with him trying to get him to calm down, maybe he was a little irritated about having a screaming child drop in his home like that… who knows. The gorilla was doing what gorillas do regardless of what the reasoning was – and that’s understandable. HOWEVER – what the gorilla was doing was in fact endangering the child’s life and well being – intentional or not. Seeing small clips – I didn’t understand why the decision made was made as it was. Seeing the uncut video – certainly made it more clear. As a mother myself – my heart gasped seeing that little one dragged through the water like that where he could have drowned, incurred a serious head injury, etc. Animals don’t grasp the how strong they are to a person. Animals don’t grasp that their behavior even if well intentioned may harm a human being – they don’t have that thought process as you and I. Maybe they drag their young to protect them and they are better suited to handle being handled in such conditions – but a human child is not. Tranquilizers would have taken time to take effect – so do you risk shooting the gorilla now and possibly making him mad if he was not already irritated and upset with situation? What do they do when they are mad? Would a little boy have any chance of survival against a now angry 400 lb gorilla– reality – not really. I as a grown adult would not have much chance if it were me. So the decision was made. Should animals be in the wild – yeah that is where they are best able to live grow etc… however the gorilla was endangered – so clearly leaving some animals in the wild is not in their best interest if we don’t want to see them disappear completely. We as humans have the capacity to understand the seriousness of their survival and have found ways to try and help keep the animals safe in a habitat for which they can still move about as before although not without within limited confines. People enjoying going to see animals at the zoo – not everyone can travel to see animals in their natural habitat and even then could we survive it… I have learned a lot from my trips to the zoo as have my children and many others. There is an admiration and yet a respect for the animal life that is out there. I hate that the gorilla was shot and killed. I would’ve been just as upset had this little boy been killed – and even more so had he been killed because he was tranquilized when it was known the risk of harm would be greater if tranquilized. I wish the mother would have made different choices and if there with multiple children – would have had another adult with her in order to help her attend all children – maybe that wasn’t possible. I’m sure she is rethinking every decision she made that day including the decision to even go to the zoo. Rest assured she is probably beating herself up far worse than anyone else can do. I wasn’t there – I don’t know all the facts. I don’t know the totality of the situation. If she was truly negligent and just not paying the child no mind at all – ok there is something that may need to be looked at. I don’t really feel this was the situation… it sounds to me this was mother whom took her children to the zoo, whom turned for a split second to attend the other children – how many times have parents taken eyes off one child to ensure the other children were there and doing as needed if you say you haven’t then you haven’t been watching your own children very closely – it happens. And as a parent I understand when situations like these happen they happen quick. Mom probably turned back around and realized little one was not there – so your first thought isn’t that our child got through the exhibit and fell in – thus your attention is not there – and thus you are looking around you trying to locate your child and then starting to panic – THAT right there is the extra time needed for the child to breech and fall… One bystander stated she saw the little boy and tried to reach for him but even she was unable to stop him – tells me again how quickly this happened. This situation though does not garner some of the hate spewed comments I read and honestly – reading some of the things I have read people write and their reactions to this situation – I question them as parents and think they need to be looked at closely too – is this what they teach their own children is appropriate response and behavior to something that upsets them or that they feel is wrong?

     Reply

220. Kylee

     at

     I’m also tired of hearing about the “lack of parenting by the stupid _____.” Come on people. Who has done a 100% perfect job of parenting? I mean, yes, this was definitely a mistake, and we ALL have made mistakes. Doesn’t even matter the degree of the mistake or accident or whatever we want to call it, the point is that it happens and we are all human.

     Reply

221. neveratimetobeunkind

     at

     This story is so sad. This article is spot on. Unfortunately, it has become common, for mothers in particular, to judge. The term “mommy wars” is become a common issue. No matter what you do, someone is going to find something wrong…
     My firstborn was born with a rare genetic disorder. He died at 10 1/2 mo old. We had no clue this was going to happen. The doctors assured us that it would be like being struck by lightning twice for another child to be affected….we got struck again with our second. We became a human interest story by the local news. Our goal was to reinforce that the most important thing to celebrate and to focus is family, never take a day for granted. You see, in October 2015, the doctors told us our beautiful little girl was probably celebrating her last holiday season. She died in my arms Feb, 2016.
     Would you believe I was criticized for having another baby? I had no business reproducing if my first child was ill and how dare I have another child. People went on about how I should be sterilized and was irresponsible.
     So, kudos to the mommies out ther who NEVER lost their child(ren). But….before you pat yourself on the back too much, understand that any one of your mistakes would probably fall under harsh scrutiny from others who would NEVER make the mistakes you made.
     By the way, I ignored the haters. My third child is perfectly fine. Until YOU are the one in the situation, you cannot say what should or should not have been done. This mom needs support, not hate. She is probably beating herself up enough over this.
     I apologize for the long post, but in short, what is done is done. Learn from it and move on. Nobody is perfect.

     Reply

     • A Humble Mom

       at

       Thank you for sharing your difficult story. Prayers for your heart as you will always yearn for and grieve your precious babies! Bless you for pressing on with courage and I am so happy you have a beautiful Rainbow here on Earth until your family will be together in Heaven. <3 What you said is so very true. Nobody is perfect…no matter how much they may think they are. I wish that, as moms, we could just love, support and encourage each other!

222. Vince

     at

     Hi Kara,

     We are all at fault to think we can cage in or tie up animals — whether we’re talking of gorillas, crocodiles, birds or dogs. It may be one thing to corral animals for livestock purposes. In the end, it is how we treat them and how we treat our relationships with them that makes us humans and not, well, also animals.

     If we confine them so we can eventually eat them or benefit from their meat, milk or eggs, we have the responsibility to treat them as nobly as we would treat them as beings who sacrifice their lives for our well-being. There is much that animal-rights activists can say about that. Nevertheless, the economics dictate that artificial shelters are preferable over natural pasture lands or wide farms where such farm animals can be free to graze and run around.

     On the other hand, confining or caging animals so we can gawk at them or photograph them is another matter. Hence, when it comes to gorillas, we just need to watch Jurassic Park and realize how we have not totally resolved the issues of human-animal relationships, especially when it comes to entertainment issues. Our responsibility resides not merely in determining the right technology or economic value of managing zoos and ocean parks but in respecting the original design of Nature and the balance that must be maintained to preserve the rights of humans and the coming generations, as well as the rights of animals and their future. We cannot visualize a future without animals, tame or wild.

     Animals will always be animals. Humans will always be humans. And since we hardly know what being human means, how do we expect to know what being an animal means. Accidents will happen. Some people seem to lean toward preserving the gorilla’s life instead of the child’s; while others naturally favor the child’s. That in itself tells us how different we humans are from each other. Was the gorilla trying to protect the child? Was it going to kill the child eventually? Who knows? We may never know as we see or experience other such incomprehensible situations in life.

     What we know is that the human-animal relationship has been corrupted from its former innocent state. We have become virtual enemies of many animals as well as of the environment. Whose fault was it? Do we remember at all? We have also become enemies of other humans whom we consider dangerous to our interests. We know who is at fault in this case. Why do we keep fences from our neighbors? Why do we buy guns? Why do we go to war?

     Grieve if we must because a gorilla has died. Rejoice — as we should — if we choose to because a child has been spared. But to confuse our emotions and even reverse them in order to suit our unnatural or erratic human passions would prove to be inimical to the order that we all seek and work for in society. Injecting anger, hatred and confusion into the matter will only make learning our hard-earned lessons more difficult.

     Your well-written letter has helped accomplish such a healing and learning process to such a high degree. Thanks.

     vince

     Reply

223. Mike R

     at

     I don’t care about this and neither does anyone else. The only reason the mom and the zoo care is because it happens to them if not it would be like the rest of us having something to talk about until a new subject comes along. There’s 1 main ideas that I got from the writing and one is turning this into something positive by having her creating awareness and her doing anything possible for things to change, I ‘m not that optimistic that she would do that. At the end of the day threats come from people that has nothing better to do. People with kids are the only responsinles of their children actions good or bad). I do believe her actions or lack off cause a situation that had consequences and she should share some type of punishment (the gorilla did).

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224. Roane Workman

     at

     Clearly, the Gorilla was protecting the boy. I care for my two year old, twin grandaughters. As aware and protective as I am, these girls are into EVERYTHING!!!!!!! I raised seven children of my own. The stories I could tell. However, I know I did not have to monitor my children nearly as much as these twins. It is nuts!! Noone knows what this little boy is like. Noone knows the Mother. The tragedy can hopefully result in improvement for EVERYONE involved. The little boy seemed to be communicating with the Gorilla after being dragged. However, the staff had to react very quickly, knowing the character of the Gorilla better than we do. I hope they send the body to a Taxidermist, so at least, the body of the Gorilla can be preserved, for educational purposes. Lighten up, all you judges. Keeping a Gorilla in a habitat, is creating a challenge from the get go.

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225. Rachel

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     That was very kind. I hope she reads it and appreciates that someone took up for her. This is my zoo. I have a pass and go regularly. I have a 4 year old son and I feel this could have easily happened to me. I believe the real problem is the zoo. They have open enclosures and I don’t think that’s safe. The enclosures are meant to keep animals in but it doesn’t keep people out. I have been to nicer zoos, Columbus Ohio for instance. They have glass around many of the animals, the Bears, the gorillas. You can be closer to them but everyone is safe. The people and the animals. What bothers me most is that the child was able to get in. I understand why they shot the gorilla. I don’t like it, but I understand. But in the news last week, a man jumped into the lion cage in a South American zoo and 2 lions were killed. It happens a lot. I think the zoos need to start better protecting their animals. You need a better plan than killing the animal if a crazy adult or brave toddler are able to jump the fence, Design the enclosures to keep the people out.

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226. Rachel

     at

     Well said. Most of us never have to pay the ultimate price for that moment of inattention, but it could have happened to any one of us. And you can be sure it did happen to at least one mom at that exact moment. While this mother was holding her little boy tight and thanking whatever power she holds dear for sparing her child’s life, somewhere in this world, a mother was holding her lifeless baby in her arms, knowing a grief that most of us will never have to experience. The mommy-shaming has GOT to stop. It is hard enough raising a child in this world without having to do it while the Better Mommy Board sits in judgment. And you know what? If it HAD been her fault, if she actively encouraged him to stand on the railing and wave at the gorrillas, she would still need our compassion and understanding to learn better skills and make better choices. The only thing our condemnation would achieve is to make other moms who are struggling even more reluctant to ask for help, for fear of losing custody of their kids. So let’s try to help one another be better moms and know that each generation will get better and better. Isn’t that what we really want for our kids?

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227. ursusferrum

     at

     The author of this letter is right in the fact that life happens, and that there should never have been a way for that kid to get in the habitat to begin with. She is also correct in the fact that is easier to pass judgment when one is not actually faced with a life and death situation like that. The fact remains, however, that a life was taken that day, and that life matters. If the situation was different in that, let’s say, the mother lost track of the child and the toddler wandered into the road and was hit by a car, and hypothetically the ensuing accident also took the life of a motorist. I guarantee that someone is going to be held responsible for the injury/loss of life. In the case of Harambe perhaps the zoo itself was negligent in meeting building codes for the habitat, or perhaps the contractor who built it is at fault. Still, quite possibly, the whole thing still lies upon the parents of the child. Who can really say? I say that all who were involved should, from this point on, be championing the cause of silver-back gorilla conservation efforts.

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228. MaLinda Manis

     at

     I never lost my children when they were little. When we visited an event or somewhere such as a zoo when they were that age, they were in a stroller, when they got out of it, they were hand in hand with myself/husband. Did we make parenting mistakes? Of course, everyone does…I don’t feel hate towards this Mother, I do however have a lot of frustration towards the media when they do not provide all of the details when covering any story. I still think there are many that would clear up a lot in regards to this story. There had not been an incident in over 35 years, the enclosure was maneuvered by the child after getting past 4 barriers and other preventative measures which have proved successful prior to this incident. My question is this for anyone…if this was at an amusement park and the same child climbed a fence which guarded against access to a roller coaster or another ride or feature which is dangerous when entering an area not meant for visitors, then what? Open to positive feedback and constructive conversation.

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229. Sarah

     at

     This is well written, thank you for this. I’ve been arguing with people on my facebook to show some mercy, but for some reason people feel this need to be angry at others for making mistakes claiming “They would never make them.” That’s amazing, I had no idea we all were perfect parents 100% of the time.

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230. sammie meyer

     at

     i agree that a child being in that environment would be scary for everyone but, we have to remember that this was an endangered species who didn’t intend to harm this child, but actually protect it. the child and mother was fine and in turn was responsible for killing an innocent animal. i understand the child or mother didn’t intend for this to happen but come on.. I’ve lost my children before and they did nothing stupid such as this. killing that innocent animal because of humans safety was a completely ignorant thing to do. just so selfish to kill this animal because of someones stupidity. i know this mom didn’t intend for this to happen but she is responsible for it, like it or not, that is her child who she is responsible for.

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231. jonathan

     at

     well written – the right words at the right time

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232. A Humble Mom

     at

     Thank you for a beautifully written, compassionate and measured response to a gut wrenching situation. I used to be an arrogant/judgy Mama…I had 2 very easy, compliant, polite and amazing kids, so thought I knew it all. Then God gave me a taste of humble pie with baby #3 who was a far cry from the others!

     Child #3 was one who took every opportunity to escape and even learned quickly how to undo every leash/wristrap, trick, contraption etc. that I tried. I had to keep her in a stroller far longer than I would have liked, but even then, she would wiggle out and run! Paying for items at a store always nearly gave me anxiety attacks as I tried to put the stroller between me and the register to keep an eye on her. She still would manage to escape sometimes and I was a hyper-vigilant mom!

     I learned quickly that every child is different and that I needed to save my judgements as I am sure people were judging me without having a single clue how hard I worked to keep that wild one corralled! It was not easy and I had many failings in spite of my superhero attempts.

     Parenting is hard. For the perfect moms on here with perfect children, kudos to you. If I had stopped at 2 kids I guess I would be among you. lol But I wouldn’t trade my wild one for the world, and one of the greatest lessons she taught me is a lesson that all the “Perfect” moms who have never and “will never” lose sight of their child have missed…Humility. I am so blessed to have learned that from my beautiful and compassionate wild child. 🙂

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233. Vicky

     at

     can people please stop making these ridiculous comments about using a net or sedating the animal. A net?! Seriously? The gorilla was holding the boy (or very close to him) most of the time so the boy would likely have also got caught in the net. Can you imagine how a wild animal of 400llbs would react to this?! Also the zoo have explained about sedation. Even if they had fired 2-3 darts it takes a minute or so to get through blood stream. In that 1+ minute the gorilla would have been very angry and distressed. Discuss the fault of the parents if need be but please stop making silly suggestions about how to deal with the gorilla. The zoo staff would not have made this decision lightly and I am sure it greatly distressed them. Uneducated speculation about what. They could have done is pointless.

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234. Connie

     at

     You totally changed my point of view on the mom. The decision to kill the animal wasn’t hers. My blame is on the one who made the ultimate decision to kill. I would like to know why a tranquilizer gun wasn’t used. Well said. Hopefully others join your point of view.

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235. Natasha

     at

     I applaud your compassion and you are spot on regarding society’s impossible standards for parents. That said – perhaps it’s also wise to extend that compassion to the trained experts who work with those animals every day and had to make the I’m sure heartbreaking decision to put the animal down. If the mother is deserving of compassion and the benefit of the doubt – so are the animal experts who had to make that choice and who CERTAINLY know more about that gorilla that any of us do. I am unable to post a link to this – but a zoologist named Ellie Moore wrote a Facebook post about this recently about exactly WHY the animal safety zoologists made the decision they made. It’s crystal clear. Look her up – her post will convince you that nobody heartlessly murdered that animal. They made an incredibly difficult decision but they made the RIGHT one – and they too are being viciously attacked for it. And just like nobody probably feels as bad as the mom for what happened to that kid – nobody feels as bad as the animal experts at that zoo – because they knew and LOVED that gorilla in a way you and I couldn’t possibly imagine. I feel JUST as sorry for them as I do for the mother. Compassion is deserved by ALL involved.

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     • Kara Carrero

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       I 100% agree. This post in particular was just meant to be a letter to the mom which is why she is the focus.

236. Ken

     at

     Well written, as a father I am not getting into how many times my son’s have evaded me. I just want to put my two cents in. I have a hard time understanding why adults standing by watching this unfold didn’t snatch the boy up. Do we live in a society now where people are afraid to look out for others children. If my child is about to walk into the street and I am not paying attention I sure hope someone would grab him. I was not there and not sure of the details but an article I read said they watched the boy go under the railing. I pray for the health of this child and for his family I would hate to be in the center of this.

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237. G Y Gurnsey

     at

     Beautifully said and so lovely to hear positivity admist all the finger pointers and ranters! We are all human, and to be hunan is to err…. Even the most vigilant of us. I’d like to see one parent who child has not been injured, lost, and / or damaged property because we don’t have eyes in the back of our heads etc,. Thank you for being a voice of reason, humanity, and compassion! I believe the management of the zoo who loaned the gorgeous gorilla said that it was the only choice when a human life is in danger. The tranquilizer would not work fast enough and the animal would be more dangerous in an agitated semi-conscious state, plus, I imagine that he could have fallen asleep on top of the child… Crushing him…

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238. Jean Larson

     at

     Jeff Corwin, well-known conservationist in Boston who was interviewed about this incident, said it can take up to 15 minutes for a tranquilizer to work. That’s IF they are successful at shooting the animal with a tranquilizer. I learned from a nature program a while back that a male often gets more aggressive after being shot with a tranquilizer, until it takes full effect. It was not a difficult call for the Cincinnati Zoo. Jeff Corwin watched the video of the gorilla with the little boy and said it showed obvious signs of stress and agitation. He said there was no option of tranquilizing the animal in that situation.
     I think your open letter is lovely and reasonable and compassionate.
     I don’t understand why people are so quick to judge the little boy’s mother. I haven’t even seen any information that would indicate that she was NOT watching him. So many assumptions made. So little value placed on the life of an innocent little boy. So much sympathy for a wild animal who would kill any of us on a whim if given the chance. It makes me sad to see all the unkind comments about this mother. Thank you for reaching out to this mom to counteract all that. I hope she reads it and takes it to heart!

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239. Natasha

     at

     Beautifully written. I hope the mom gets to read this. Bless your heart xxx

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240. Natasha

     at

     Wow Kara! I jus wanted to commend you on what an amazing mind and heart you have. I completely feel the same as you. I genuinely thank you for speaking up and reaching out to not only that mother. But to everyone that reads your letter. I think it will make people hopefully rethink their ignorance and instead have more understanding and compassion for the whole senario instead of being blinded by judgement and opinion. We would live in a beautiful, peaceful world if everyone would just take the time to think deeper and be more open minded. I appreciate how you viewed this and you should feel really great about yourself !

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241. Krista O'Connell

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     I would agree with most of this IF I hadn’t read the quotes from the mother about God protecting her son and keeping him safe until the authorities arrived. She appears to take no responsibility for this and there was no mention about being sad about the stupid loss of life.

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242. Bonnie

     at

     I’ve read a couple of posts/articles now about the fact that children can get away from mom for an instant. One post was from someone who is very dear to me. So it saddens me to argue with that theory. But I have to. You, as young moms can not risk and do not have the luxury of ever allowing that to happen!!! It’s absolutely too dangerous to let your precious children out of your sight for even a nano second! There is too often a way in which they can be harmed and there are ways to prevent it!
     My own children are grown now, and never once did I lose either of them for even a split second. Keep them in a stroller, a grocery cart or hold tightly to their little hands, but NEVER allow them out of your sight! If you think this kind of thing happens and it’s normal, leave them with someone who doesn’t agree! Or change your thoughts. Your children should NEVER be out of your sight!!!! There could be someone watching, just around the corner to do harm to them!

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243. Pauline

     at

     the truly sad thing about this story what ever happened the outcome would be horrible what if they hadn’t shoot the gorilla and it killed the child then people would be blaming someone for not doing more. The only thing we can learn from this is not to blame, accidents happen everyday, what people need to do is reflect on what happened, why it happened and how can they better the situation, this is for all that are involved. Sending threats to the family doesn’t help the situation, you don’t know her, you don’t truly know what happened, people are too quick to judge.

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244. Lene

     at

     I agree that no parent is perfect and that mistakes were made and it can easily happen to any one of us. The question is: What is this mother going to do about this? If this had happened to me, if I was this mom, I would already be making plans to raise funds to help this zoo get their gorilla breeding program back on track. I would pledge my life and dedicate my sons saved life to creating awareness on endangered animals to honour the fallen gorilla. This would be the least she can do to try and rectify the mistake that she had made.

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245. Eric Salsburg

     at

     Ultimately, the sole responsibility for the death of this magnificent animal lies with the ones who took him out of his natural environment and made him live in a cage! Zoos are an outrage and are abusive and unnatural for animals, no matter how much they try to re-create their natural habitat.

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     • Leigh

       at

       He was born in captivity. Zoos have not taken wild caught gorillas in decades.

246. Susan

     at

     I honestly think it’s the zoos fault for not keeping the public or their animals safe…

     Reply

247. M

     at

     The “if you had your child on a leash it wouldn’t have happened” part bugs me sooo much. I have an adventurous runner child (now nearly 8 & thankfully, less prone to bolting) who at the age of 2 had already figured out how to unbuckle carseat & stroller straps & get out of the harness/leash things… nothing could keep my child contained & while we did use a harness/leash on him, it was more of a slow him down & give me enough warning when the leash went slack to know he was bolting in hopes that I could catch him before he was able to take off. So no, having the child in a harness/leash wouldn’t necessarily have prevented the situation from occurring.

     This still is blaming the mom, not as badly & viciously as others but still blaming none the less to say if she had done xyz then it wouldn’t have happened. I never took my kids out unless I had at least one other adult with me when my runner was at their most challenging stage & even with 2 attentive & vigilant adults my runner got away from us a few times. Even security locks & baricading our front door wasn’t enough to keep my runner safely inside our home when the impulse for adventuring struck. All the “if she had only done xyz” just shows how privileged one is to have never spent years in an arms race to keep their child safe from the fearless curiosity & awe inspiring ingenuity of an escape artist toddler.

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248. Kaz

     at

     Animals like this belong in the wild – not in zoo’s. It’s about time we as humans understood that we are not the only creatures living on this planet. Every creature here has a right to exist in their own natural habitat.

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     • Deena

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       I so agree with you Kaz. Unfortunately poaching and greed have all but obliterated their natural habitat and our zoos have become sanctuaries to preserve endangered species and provide education to avoid extinction.

     • Bette

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       I understand your sentiment. It’s not an ideal situation at all. But given the loss of natural habitat, vulnerability to poachers, and the dwindling numbers in the wild, some might argue that a zoo with a breeding program is better than extinction. But you’re right, it is truly an ethical dilemma.

249. Deena Walker

     at

     What people don’t seem to understand is this gorilla was classified as critically endangered. If your kid went into a store and broke a valuable piece of merchandise odds are you would be charged for that merchandise. Unfortunately this was not merchandise and money won’t bring him back. Apparently the little boy kept whining about going into the enclosure. Why didn’t the parents remove him? It’s very difficult for me to believe this was the first time he showed any kind of willful behavior. Instead he found his way into the enclosure and a magnificent creature was destroyed because of the inattentiveness of his parents. This is a very sad situation but it doesn’t alleviate the fact there should indeed be charges filed with serious penalties to follow. JMO

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250. Cher

     at

     My biggest question is why wasn’t that little boy watched closer AFTER showing such interest in going into the enclosure? Kids are KNOWN to do these things but as parents/guardians, we are supposed to watch them. If he fell in, it would be a different story. He went in because he wasn’t being watched properly. I get that kids take off and things happen, this shouldn’t have. Not in such a public place.

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     • Susan

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       I agree. I have 3 kids and they were never allowed to climb on railings at zoos or anywhere for that matter. And when the little boy repeated that he was going in the water should have made the mom grab onto him or have her husband, if he were there help out. And, she should apologize. Having said that, I am by no means a perfect mom. And my kids had their share of nearly escaping in public restrooms. What I find sad is that in the comments of an article which mentiones blame and mob mentality, one mom who stated that she always had her hands on her child was attacked viciously. By those same moms coming together for another child. Hypocritical.

251. Mary Molenkamp

     at

     Kara, I totally agree with you, she is a mother and if something happens to own kids we react and we want to get them back safe, also SHE did not ask for the gorilla to be ahot that was not her chose and of course it is very sad that the gorilla is dead there is nothing she can do about it, and just as you said things happen NO ONE is perfect and I am just happy that her child is safe and R.I.P. for gorilla

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252. Brenda

     at

     I have read many of the comments, and find that most of all people are angry and upset by the needless death of a great creature. Something i have to say though is in the situation what would you do? I too am upset by the fact the child was able to get in the enclosure. We are all to blame, the decision maker who killed a beautiful animal, the parents who may not have been so vigilant. The on lookers that watched the whole incident. The two that did suffer is the poor child who fell and the gorilla who did what is natural to him. If we as humans are not going to allow the animal to be its natural self then maybe we should not be keeping them on show and taking money for it. After all is it not the responsibility of such attractions to ensure something like this does not happen. As a mum, i remember a time when my daughter about 3 at the time, was sat on the edge looking at the rhinos. I nearly lost my grip and she could have fallen in. Please note it can happen. As to death threats well hasn’t there been enough needless killing to do with this already. May none of us have to experience this kind of thing again.

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253. Dee

     at

     To mother of this boy, don’t blame yourself. Don’t let this incident haunt you for the rest of your life. I totally understand that you did your best taking care of your boy, must have been a stressful. And some people are pointing fingers at you. They are so lucky it’s not them. After the rain, there is always the sun shine. This incident must had happen for a reason. Maybe it was a good idea for the gorilla to die anyways. Wow, the gorilla is alive but locked up in a cage. Must be such a sad and lonely life. I’d rather die than be in prison and have creatures visiting me everyday. I’m amazed animals don’t go crazy but I’m sure we will. And we think we are animal lovers because we created the zoo? Think again animal lovers. We are just trying to satisfy ourselves. Every human is to blame, not just one or two.

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254. Sharon

     at

     Thank you for this. You have so eloquently said exactly how I was feeling about this entire incident and the vilification of this mother.
     I tried to write about it on my own blog, my thoughts and feelings about how this mother is being treated. It’s a terrible tragedy, a senseless killing but it could so easily have been anyone of us and if it was my child I’d seen being dragged around like that, I would have done WHATEVER it took to save her.

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255. Christy Thackerson

     at

     Thank you for a very well-written letter to the mother of this child. I sincerely hope she reads it and that she does make something positive come out of it. As to the people saying that the gorilla was protecting the boy, perhaps he was. In gorilla fashion. As a gorilla protects a gorilla baby. But the boy is not a gorilla. He is a human child. Please look at the entire video footage and not just the edited versions. The child was being drug by his arm through water that has a concrete bottom. He could have sustained a head injury. He could have drowned. He could still develop pneumonia from having had water get into his airways. He was scared to death and he was screaming bloody murder. On top of that the people at the top of the enclosure were yelling. A wild animal, while capable of offering a certain amount of tenderness toward humans, is still a wild animal capable of resorting to his natural, self-preserving instincts at any time he feels threatened or agitated. The boy WAS in danger. Not might have been–WAS. While everyone who weighs in on this story may mean well, we are NOT zoologists. We are NOT biologists. We are NOT animal behavioralists. And we are NOT the keepers and carergivers who had a relationship with Harambe. The people who shot this animal did not do it lightly or without forethought. The zoo has been contacted by and validated by none other than JANE GOODALL (THE expert in gorilla behavior), and JACK HANNA, among others. We, the people need to pray, and do whatever else we can to bring changes to the circumstances that allowed this sad, tragic event to occur.

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256. Lisa

     at

     There are many conclusions and observations that can be made from this tragedy, but one that stands out to me is that a lot of people hate mothers. And I mean HATE..with self-righteous, vitriolic, seething, scorched earth rage. Where is the fault? It’s always the mother, of course. God help the imperfect mother, for all the ills of the universe will most surely be laid at her feet.

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257. Heather BishopDavis

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     In my opinion this should not have happened. The zoo, the parent and any of the others standing there checking out this animal should have been prevented if the enclosure was built better. If this child could get in there then the zoo is responsible for this awful killing of an endangered species. I have read all these posts and believe that everyone is at fault. Yes I’m a parent of 2 and a grandmother of one and have gone thru situations where my son has walked off. But if you were watching your child this would have saved a silver back! A 4 year old is very curious and love to explore so telling him to hold on to your back pocket was a big mistake as you take pictures of whatever was more important than watching your child! I wish you peace for what has happened to your family but I also think this was an accident that should have never happened. RIP beautiful silver back.

     Reply

258. Lisa C

     at

     Compassion is a wonderful thing. Compassion for everyone involved in this story — mother, child, gorilla, zoo staff, fellow zoo goers.

     Thanks for your article, Kara.

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259. T

     at

     Throughout reading all the comments that I have seen on Facebook as well as reading this article, I’m astounded at how so many people can say that “It’s the way kids are” or “They can slip away in a moments notice”. As a mother of 3, I am confused honestly by these statements. My oldest daughter is 26, my middle daughter is 18 and my youngest is going to be 13 soon. In 26 years, I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt that I had never “Lost my child” before or had the “Run off”.

     Did they hide in the clothing racks at a store? Nope. Not once. Did they take off down the street or me not know where they were? Not on your life. How is this you might ask. Even go so far as to say that I’m full of myself.

     The truth of the matter is I didn’t take things for granted. From a very young age I taught my children that they had to stay close to me. When they were in the store with me they either were in their stroller or grocery cart until they were unable to be in them. If they were walking around or once they were too big for those, I made sure they held my hand.

     We did something that it seems that parents don’t do with their children anymore. I TALKED to them. There was no baby coo coo gitchy gitchy talk. They asked why, I gave them a very detailed age appropriate answer. They knew that when I gave them a certain look that they needed to stop. Those looks didn’t happen very often either. Not once did I ever have to spank my children either.

     Does that make me a perfect parent and every other parent horrible? Nope. Not on your life. As much as I wish I were, no one is perfect. We all have our flaws. Are all children horrible little creatures except mine? No they aren’t My kids aren’t perfect by any means either. As I said, we all have our flaws. But at some point parents need to become the adults in the situation. Stop trying to be the children’s best friend and take responsibility for their actions as well as our own.

     The moment that child said that he was wanting to climb into the exhibit with the gorilla, that was a perfect moment for the mother to have a nice lengthy discussion with him about why he shouldn’t do that or reinforcing why it shouldn’t be done if she had already had this talk before.

     Reply

     • Meredith

       at

       Dear T: Thanks for letting everyone know what an awesome parent you are and how obedient your kids are! It really added so much depth to the conversation! Moreover, your inherently judgmental “confusion” regarding other’s parents’ apparent lack of “awesome-ness” was totally the point of this blog post ~ kudos to you for really getting it.

     • Meredith

       at

       Dear T: Thank so much for sharing what an awesome parent you are! Moreover, your inherently judgmental “confusion” regarding other parents’ apparent lack of “awesome-ness” is exactly the kind of empathetic response the author was trying to illicit. Kudos to you!

     • Meredith

       at

       Dear T: Thank you so much for sharing how awesome of a parent you are! And you inherently judgmental “confusion” regarding how a parent could let their child slip away is EXACTLY the type of empathetic response that the author was trying to illicit. Kudos to you!

       Sarcasm aside, I’m really glad your kids never slipped away. But that just makes you lucky. And whether you intended it this way or not, your comment was condescending (all you have to do is “TALK” to your kids, explain things, and give them one of THOSE looks ~ and it’ll work! And above all, just start being the adult, for god’s sake). We do all of these things…and we lost track of a kid once in a public place. If you’re still confused, let me know. I’m happy to “explain things” to you.

260. Lynda Chick

     at

     Thank you for writing exactly what I was feeling. Also, thank you so much for sharing you proactive point of view about making this tragedy an opportunity for growth and awareness. I love all of your suggestions and I hope mom does read this article and does some of the things you suggested. Maybe, one day, the baby will also take a proactive role as well. You are brave and articulate. I appreciate you expressing your thoughts and feelings in a way that so many of us (I should hope) would like, towards this mother. You are an inspiration to myself and others.

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261. Anna Rust

     at

     If children didn’t “slip away” there would be no need for a “Code Adam” in the major stores in Florida (maybe everywhere, not sure). From someone who has had children on a leash at times trying to do a good job, losing one of them has happened to me (Code Adam called in Wal-Mart and found her right away), and it can happen to you.

     Reply

262. Ann

     at

     This was very well written. I have not seen many articles in support of the mother and I do respect the message you are trying to send.
     However, as a mother of 3, I can say without a doubt that I’ve never “lost” my child. My children are my everything and their safety iis always priority. While I a know we cannot control everything they do, there are measures to take when in public. Strap your kids in a stroller, use a child leash, hold their hand or carry them. As parents, we are responsible for our children’s actions.

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263. JLT

     at

     I love all these comments from “experts” who say the animal should have been tranquilized.

     If it was your child, with an animal known to kill humans standing over your child, would you want someone to shoot it with a dart, and wait 20 minutes for it to fall asleep?

     Tranquilizers aren’t instant. They aren’t even 100% effective. It takes up to 30 minutes for one to work. Often animals after being tranquilized become agressive, they have just been shot with a dart after all, and are now in pain.

     The only way to guarantee that the child was safe was to kill the gorilla. A gorilla is not a cuddly animal, they are a wild, sometimes aggressive animal. If they waited, the child could have been hurt once the gorilla was tired of playing with the child, if they tranquilized the gorilla it could have acted out once it was hurt by the dart. All other options put the child at risk.

     The gorilla was “protecting” the child? Because you’re all animal behavior experts right? What I see in the video is an animal defending it’s proptery. That gorilla found something new and was defending it. If the gorilla really was protecting the child, what was he protecting it from? What about when someone tries to take this gorilla’s child from him? Is that gorilla just going to be like “he you go take it I’m done”. You can’t be sure.

     Silverback gorillas kill their own kind. A silverback gorilla will intentionally kill babies that are not his. When trying to dominate another silverback, they will attack the other males females, and kill their babies. You really want to take a chance that this silverback in a zoo is somehow a pacifist gorilla? No way.

     No one had more invested into that gorilla than the zoo, and if there was any other acceptable alternative that guarantees the child’s safety then they would have done it. They did was was needed.

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264. hfostermurphy

     at

     The duality of this is interesting. I don’t know about the parent involved, but parents in general who care for their children do all they can to protect them. Likewise, zoos, in genera, do all they can the protect their animals and the patrons who provide the revenue for these places to continue. There’s a difference between maliciousness and misfortune, Whatever the details of the situation, the mother didn’t send her child in to get the gorilla killed, the zookeepers didn’t create an environment for a child to infiltrate. It was a unfortunate event, not a malicious one. Instead of sweeping up our torches and rakes (as is the current fad) we should use this time to mourn, and above all, learn.

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     • Ray stone

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       Bingo. I concur 100%

265. Weeza

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     Very well said. But let me ask you people something. If it was your child in there with that gorilla would you be so quick to say save the gorilla or save my child? Can you honestly say that you NEVER had your child sneak off from your presence at one point in their lives? There’s not a parent who can say that. I’m not saying killing the gorilla was the right thing but there was a child who was hurt and a gorilla who was confused. No one knows what it was thinking or what it was going to do. Some say it was protecting the child but the video shows it dragging him around at one point. Pointing fingers and threats doesn’t change anything. Personally I believe the child’s safety was more important but everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

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266. Alynn Farmer

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     Than you for writing this letter. You summed up many things that have been bothering me since this whole incident happened. The biggest thing that irks about the comments I have read–even in response to your post–is that most, if not all, of us were NOT THERE. We didn’t witness the situation personally but some of us feel we have the right to direct some truly vitriolic comments toward human beings we don’t know. It’s so easy to pass judgment from your keyboard isn’t it. To those of you perfect, sanctimonious individuals who have NEVER (that’s a pretty significant word) lost one of your children or made a bad decision, I hope the day doesn’t come that you do err…because, after all, you are only human….and that you aren’t plunked down in the midst of a social media firestorm. But if it ever happens to you, rest assured, I will reserve my judgmental comments until I know all the facts…unless I am there to witness your fall from grace.

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267. Jill Murphy

     at

     Beautifully said. As moms, we do or find ourselves in all kinds of moments that a split second can make such a difference. Moms are not perfect – you can be the best mom in the world and mistakes and accidents can still happen. Thank you for showing this mom grace. We need more of that in the world. It is far to easy to judge than be compassionate in stories like this.

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268. Jen S.

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     Thank you for sharing! I agree with you. My heart aches for this mom. I can’t even imagine the terror that she felt. The hateful comments are just uncalled for. Prayers for this family. And thanks to the zoo for their quick actions–yes, it’s sad that the gorilla had to be killed, I’m sure this was very hard on them too! Just a terrible freak accident.

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269. Dorothy Carey

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     Yes children can slip away from you in a blink of an eye, but I have seen over the years parents not using their brains, we were at the Grand Canyon and a mother thought it was so cute that her toddler could walk and balance so well on this wall, well.on the other side of the wall was a drop off 100s feet down, I been in stores where parents let their small kids go off in the toy department alone, I seen parents on their cell phones not paying any attention what so ever where their small kids are at in stores or even when they take them to the park. Yes we are not perfect and children can slip away but ITS OUR JOB AS PARENTS TO AT LEAST DO OUR BEST.

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270. Darlene Dykstra

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     Very well written.Compassionate and sensitive. Thank you for responding to this grieving family so sweetly. For those who cast the finger of blame, may the Lord open your eyes and heart to understanding, and learn compassion and mercy for other humans like yourselves. I’m sure the family is going through enough grief and many “if onlys”–and they don’t need others to add to their burden. May the Lord strengthen and comfort this family and make His presence known in a tangible way.

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271. Cana White

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     Thank you for putting your heart and truth out there for this mother. May we all have this compassion in all we do and less judgement on others.

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272. Penny Zle

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     Do I think it was right to kill? I really don’t know. All I can say is this – if my child were the one who fell, I would want any and all means used to get him back safely and unharmed. You see – animals are not humans (and YES, I am an animal lover – I have SIX dogs and a cat). They couldn’t very well try to talk reason into the animal or call in a hostage negotiator now could they? Even the sweetest dogs, cats horses cows, ferrets, hamsters, etc etc can have a moment and do something out of character. Just remember that before bashing anyone, be it the parents or the zoo staff. Please.

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273. Alynn Farmer

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     Very well said I support the mom as well as I have lost my son, who almost got on with lemur monkeys. Thought i lost my daughter in sears , she ended up with grandma and didnt tell me. I for one was very paranoid about kidnappings and such. Be proud and hold the little bot close and give him a hug from me. The gorilla was an unfortunate loss of life how ever people nefore animals always!!!!

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274. Shannon

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     I hope this letter placates the mother so that she doesn’t sue the zoo. At the end of the day, she is lucky her child is alive. But I have a horrible feeling she will sue for medical costs, and “pain and suffering”. Both from the incident itself and the after effects. Which would be abhorrent.

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275. Cindy DeNise

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     Due to a witness account this boy had stated to his mother several times that he wanted to get into the water with the gorillas – with that being said WHY would a parent not take the boys hand & maybe leave the area? Instead – a statement made by the mom in fact – she put the boys hand in her back pocket and turned to take a picture!! Did she not feel when he pulled his hand away? Why would a person not pay more attention to that child instead of taking a picture? For that reason I feel that she was very negligent!! Also it took the boy several minutes to get through the barriers so it wasn’t ‘in an instant’. This senseless incident DID NOT HAVE TO HAPPEN had the mom been paying more attention to this child that had told her what he wanted to do!!

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276. Rain

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     Beautifully written. We are all human and have made mistakes, and children do run off from even the most caring and attentive moms! I agree that there should not have even been a way for such a little one to have got in there in the first place. I wish people would be as enraged about abortion or sex trafficking and the murder and torture of children as they are of an ape- maybe then the world would be a better place as we get our priorities straight. Don’t get me wrong, I feel sad for the animal too, but I agree that our first instinct as humans should be that we are glad the child is safe, feel compassion for the mother and then shed a tear for the animal.

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277. Stacey

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     To the perfect moms who never let go of their child’s hand for a second-what about if you have 3 children? I don’t know about you, but everyone I know has only 2 hands. And don’t say the one child can hold the other child’s hand in a line-they can easily let go. And what about if one of the children trips and scrapes their knee-how do you clean their knee and apply a bandaid while still holding both children’s hands? NO ONE is perfect, get off your high horse.

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278. Cindy DeNise

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     Due to a witness account this boy had stated to his mother SEVERAL times that he wanted to get into the water with the gorillas – with that being said WHY wouldn’t that parent pay MORE attention to that child? Instead – a statement made by the mom herself – she put the boys hand in her back pocket and turned to take a picture!! Did she not feel when he pulled his hand away? Why would a person not pay more attention to that child instead of taking a picture? For that reason I feel that she was very negligent!! Also it took the boy several minutes to get through the barriers so it wasn’t ‘in an instant’. This senseless incident DID NOT HAVE TO HAPPEN had the mom been paying more attention to this child that had told her what he wanted to do!! So unfortunately the gorilla paid with his life for her negligence. People don’t seem to have COMMON SENSE any more, that’s all it would have taken on the parents part.

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     • Jeanne

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       I totally agree Cindy DeNise! I can’t believe some of these comments I’m reading! So much disregard for what was lost in this incident that NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED!!!!

279. Tran Le

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     I just want to ask some questions: Who will take responsibility for the death of Harambe? He was deserved to be killed?

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280. Moo goer

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     Yes the poor gorilla it is a tragedy what happened but all in all the zoo staff valued human life over any other and I completely agree with their decision. What if the boy was fatally hurt? What then? Seems to me too many people have too much time on their hands and we do not value one another enough over a gorilla as majestic as he was? I’m sorry but that’s just wrong. I hope you haters see the other side someday

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281. Karen

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     I’m so glad I read this. I too was one who judged the mom. I don’t know why, because my son was a Houdini.
     Im sure many of us moms like to think we are perfect, but in fact we are far from it. I too mourn the loss of this beautiful animal. However, I wonder what the views would be if the child were to have died. The blame would have been on the zoo and the animal. Excellent point in how you describe the enclosure as something to keep a 400lb Gorilla in, and yet a young child can get in.

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     • Laura

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       Have any of you been to this zoo?? This enclosure is 38 years old has NEVER been breached before , I live here , I visit this zoo at least monthly , the child did not slip in, accidentally fall , or flop in , there are 4 barriers he breached , first a railing waist high on an adult with mesh fencing under it to prevent a child from crawling beneath , per witnesses the child flipped over this railing , then there is a hedge of bushes that he crawled underneath , then a wooden fence at a 45 degree angle to climb over , beyond that another mesh fence to climb over AND then rocks at the edge of the water moat , the moat is a 15 ft straight drop off that runs the length of the exhibit and is about 12 ft wide across . It took longer than a second and a willful child to cross all of the above barriers but I agree the right decision was made , I just like the details to be correct , this isn’t an unsafe exhibit , our zoo is wonderful , the child didn’t follow the rules as children will do and for some reason no one was able to get him before he got into the moat

282. Julie

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     Very well written Kara! Sad for ALL parties involved.

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283. Crystal

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     Well written. I was shocked how many people (parents) thought the child’s life didn’t matter. I wish the comments and protests I’ve seen were for strong safety measures to prevent another tragedy. Instead we spread hate and angry instead of solutions.

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284. Loretta ebsary

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     So beautifully written kudos.
     I am the mother of an ADD kid and because I didn’t want my child doped up he was still very active. NO ONE knows the whole story and there was too many times my son darted away. We believe we are good parents we are perfect but truth be known we are aren’t .

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285. Salina F

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     To all those who thought the animal should have been tranquilized instead of killed, you would have not said this, if it were your chlld.

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286. Dd

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     The “animal” lived n a SAFE zoo enclosure for 16yrs prior to this “accident”!!!!the zoo should have updated the enclosure n yes the PARENTS should ‘ve listened to the kid when said he was gonna swim w/the gorillas and. addressed the situation then not turn your attention to another child…n I’ve taken my 5 children all under the age of 7 to the zoo n even w/their curiosity at peak levels didn’t have an “accident” of this magnitude…..many ppl not just one are responsible for this

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287. Rachael

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     Thank you, Kara! Sadly, America has lost sight of the value of human life. Although a majestic animal worthy of the sadness his loss brings, a child’s life is more important. I imagine that mischievous little boy, who wanted to go swim with the gorillas, is now suffering from trauma that will take years to over come. Now is not the time to ridicule his family. Now is the time to come together as fellow humans, put ourselves in their shoes, and say, quite honestly, that it could have happened to any one of us. I pray for this little boy, that he doesn’t suffer from this terrifying incident. I pray for his mother that she will not relive this moment for too long, thinking of the what if’s and should of’s and if only’s. The professionals knew this particular animal’s personality and behavior and did everything they could have to get him to leave the habitat with the rest of the gorilla’s. If in their professional opinion, they could not save him, then he was not redeemable. That little boy, Isaiah, walked away from the incident with a concussion. That knock on the head could have killed him. The value of human life is what is at issue here. We should be more vigilant to protect it. I’m glad Isaiah is safe. I’m sorry Harambe is dead. I stand by the decision the zoologist had to make to resolve the situation.

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288. Lisa

     at

     I totally understand what she was saying in the article. I have 2 kids that are adults now. When they were small I had them in a body harness. when we walked through a store or anywhere we went. Overprotective? Maybe but my kids are alive & well. That being said maybe we should get rid of zoo’s and just have sanctuaries for the animals and let them live their life out in peace and not being gawked at so a human life or a animal life isn’t taken senselessly.

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289. Ed

     at

     I see both sides of this issue, I have no idea what the mother was doing, not sure if she was paying attention or on her phone, the zoo should have not killed the gorilla, if it was a matter of aggression from being tranquilized the same thing would have happened if they didn’t do a kill shot. The gorilla was not trying to hurt the child, he only dragged the child because people were screaming and acting what he determined as aggressive, screaming sounds like aggression noises to gorillas. In short the zoo did not do the right thing, but the mother clearly wasn’t paying attention. It would take some time for her son to get over the enclosure, you would think she would have seen that. Every party is at fault here.

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290. Daniel

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     Large wild animals can flip out especially with tranquilizer darts. That zoo had waaaay too many access points into the animal zone. The zoo should be shut down.

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291. Trey

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     Thank you for the voice of reason in the cacophany of angry shouts. For those who say the gorilla was protecting the child…there is no way for us to know what that gorilla was thinking. This is a wild animal whose behavior can turn in an instant. Wild animals are ultimately unpredictable, whether in a zoo or in the wild. Children are also unpredictable, and can get into predicaments in spite of our best efforts. Just because you have not “lost” your child YET, doesn’t mean that it can’t or won’t happen. Whether it’s in the grocery store or whatever the location, it can happen to anyone, no matter how prepared we think we are. I never “lost” any of my children either, and they are now grown, but that doesn’t give me the right to feel superior and point a finger. Life turns on a dime and not every situation has a perfect solution. Kids and animals alike are unpredictable, and in this case the zoo officials did what they though they had to. No matter how it happened, this child was not a fault, and anyone who would place the welfare of an animal over that of an innocent child needs to have their head examined.

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292. C T

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     Your letter is lovely. I am a mother of two and am astonished at the hate and abuse directed at this mother. Every parent has lost sight of their child for a moment. It could happen to anyone and it was just the particular set of circumstances in this instance which led to it becoming a tragedy.

     I am also a former zoo keeper and would like to defend the zoos decision to shoot the gorilla. Every keeper understands that this is the reality of a situation like this. Tranquilization is simply too dangerous. If you have ever witnessed an animal being tranquillised you will know it is not like the anal documentaries- dart, cut to animal asleep. It can take many minutes for it to take effect. It is difficult to judge the dose and often more than one dart is required. Animals always react in anger and pain when darted which would have been very dangerous. Darts can bounce out of the animal, or be pulled out, and the medication they carry is extremely dangerous for humans and could easily kill a child. Dart guns are also harder to fire with accuracy according to the vet I worked closely with.

     Many people have suggested that a keeper should have entered the enclosure and removed the child since the gorilla was hand raised. Many people believe that hand raised animals are tame. This is not true, they are generally actually more dangerous as they continue to have a wild nature but no longer fear humans. You cannot expect an animal like a gorilla to be domesticated or tamed. The zoo did in fact try to recall the gorilla but it failed.

     A net would also not be a viable option against a large gorilla for reasons that are simply too obvious for me to spell out.

     Many people, after witnessing a few seconds of the incident, have suddenly decided they are experts in primate behaviour and say that the gorilla was protecting the boy. I have to say that this was not my impression, but nobody is better placed to judge than the keepers who know the animal well and were actually present and witnessing the behaviour. It will have killed the keepers to make this decision. We get very attached to our animals. But human life does have to come first and they certainly made the right decision.

     I think that the authorities should take a careful look at their safety regulations. A 4 year old should not have been able to access the enclosure. I don’t blame the zoo as they will have complied to regulations, but clearly in this instance these were not rigorous enough. This incident was a very unfortunate accident and my heart goes out to the keepers, child and family who must now deal with the aftermath.

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293. b

     at

     “the gorilla was protecting him! he didn’t deserve to die! he was keeping him safe”
     “how could they kill him like that with out tranquilizing him?”

     I’m fairly certain none of these people saying things like that are gorillas therefore these people know what the gorilla was thinking. I will also take this time to point out that if you were 4 years old and suddenly in a gorilla enclosure face to face with a 400lb gorilla – you would be frightened for your life and bargaining with God, the Gorilla, or anyone who would listen. I’m pretty sure that kid was sitting there terrified. If you are not aware that every animal on this earth should be respected and given adequate personal space, then it seems as though among other things, you haven’t had a gorilla breathing down your neck. In other words, if your that guy/gal who can confidently say “I would have truly begged whoever made that call not to kill the gorilla who’s territory I/my child fell into even though I was absolutely terrified and he had the power to kill me first.” – then where were you the day people were falling into gorilla pits? Life happens, death happens. Who told some of these people that it’s always just and fair? It’s a tragic thing. The gorilla didn’t deserve to die, but neither did the child -__- I loveeeee animals but zoo’s are seriously the worst things…

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294. Michelle

     at

     Two years ago my 3 children, ages 4 and 2, nmy 12 year old dog and I were in the backyard playing. The kids said they were ready to go in, so just as every day I told them I to head in while I got the lid on the sand table. My twin daughters took their brother and went to the door and seconds later I heard horrifying screams from all three. As I rushed to see what happened, my eyes could not believe what they were seeing. My 12 year old dog who had never been aggressive in his life had grabbed my baby by the cheek. I got my son away from him and before I could stand up and get in the house, my dog grabbed his ear and tried to pull him away from me.
     This was an incredible accident that happened in the safety of my own home, with a dog that was loved on and cared for. We did what we had to do and put our dog down. No way in the world would I trust him to be in the same yard or house as my children after attacking one.

     I really wonder if people are thinking about these things. There is no telling how may times this lady had been at the zoo with her child, how many times before he said he was going to go swimming, how many times….

     Accidents happen everyday, in a split second and it can be anywhere. The safety of your own home, the park. The zoo, ANYWHERE!!!! Please let this mother grieve and get over this guilt she is feeling the way she knows how. Stop writing mean messages, you were not there, you have no idea what happened in those seconds, very few do.

     Please just stop being mean, she feels horrific and guilty the way it happened she doesn’t need people who were not there to judge her. Pour out support for her. Put yourselves in her shoes. Just stop being mean!!!!

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295. Diane

     at

     I’m not surprised at all the comments. I AM surprised at how many people think they’re an expert in gorilla behavior. Seriously? I live in Cincinnati. I’ve been to the zoo. That doesn’t make me an expert in this sad decision that the true animal professionals had to make. If you’re a mom of more than one kid, c’mon! You know what it’s like to keep track of them. I agree with the author here on many counts. Let’s learn how to show mercy and try to empathize with everyone who had to make a split second decision to save the life of a child. Let’s stop being judgmental jerks for just a little while.

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296. Jorge

     at

     Full disclosure here:
     1) I do no have children
     2) Admittedly, I was totally incensed a couple of days ago when I first caught wind of this story for this senseless death/killing/murder.
     Let me first say that all the hatred and vitriol directed at the mother is totally inappropriate and does nothing to address the issue. Moreover, I find it immoral that those to consider themselves animal advocates would show such disdain for the human members of the same animal kingdom.
     However, after 48 hours, I still struggle with the chain of events at the Cincinnati Zoo.
     I’m left with the following:
     Critical mistakes were made all around, but in the end there is only one true victim in this tragedy and that was Harambe. He did not choose to live in captivity but in the grand game of “whose life is more important” Harambe unfortunately drew the short straw. And sadly that will be the case 100% of the time regardless of the circumstances or the level of negligence. We keep these great beasts in zoos for scientific purposes but ultimately for our own enjoyment and amusement but when mistakes are made nothing trumps the wants and needs of the alpha creature.
     I sincerely hope that the boy’s family decides not to seek litigation because in my opinion it would tarnish the image of the mother as being a sympathetic figure in this tragedy.
     Unfortunately, we live in a litigious society whose mechanism for justice is based on assigning blame. And in my humble opinion blame begins with the mother as her failure to secure her child set off the chain of events which led to Harambe’s death. These facts cannot be debated. But I hope we can come up with a much more radical solution: Blame no one and mourn the death of Harambe and use this tragic example as a cautionary tale ~ one that won’t be repeated anytime soon. I truly hope that’s the route we collectively take.

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297. Erin Webster

     at

     I think they were also saying because it was a male gorilla that caused more concern for the safety of the child. I absolutely love this animal and I’m so saddened that they had to kill it, but at the same time if it was my child I wouldn’t want to take the chance

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298. A concerned mother

     at

     It’s a frickin GORILLA.
     Come on people, look at yourselves.
     Are not HUMAN lives worth more than a frickin gorilla?
     A Human child’s life should be worth more to all of us.
     It’s so sad how humanity will turn on one of their own just over the death of a gorilla.

     To the author, I’m glad you are giving encouragement to the poor mother. I know she must be depressed and frightened now.

     To the mother of the boy. No matter what the haters say, saving your son was more important. Yes, there have been instances where kids have fallen in gorilla enclousers and been saved by the animal….and yes it seems like it happened to your boy…but what so many people are forgetting due to hate is that, even though it was a zoo animal, it was still wild at heart. No matter how tame it may be. Animals are unpredictable.
     Whoever made the call felt like it was the best and safest way to rescue your child. Remember, it’s not the millions of outraged people who would probably piss their pants of they ever faced a gorilla, that knew the animal so well. It was the zookeeper. They knew truely how the aimal was. Not just how it looked.

     No matter what the haters say, dear mother of the child, your child is safe. Focus on that instead of the hate. Teach your child not to be sad or afraid because of what happened. Teach him respect to the ones who made the decision to save him. And always love him, no matter what.

     Kids make mistakes. That’s part of the learning process. Its part of life.

     Be thankful that your child is still alive. Because of they hadn’t of made that call, people could very well be mourning the death of a child instead.

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     • Sally

       at

       THANK YOU!!! I agree.

299. Mike

     at

     The truth is that none of the people that are throwing threats and negative comments will ever know exactly how they would deal with that situation. They all say they would have done it different, like using more than one tranq. but when it’s your own child in there, when you don’t know if your kid will be alive in the next hour, no one can say for sure what they will do.. Personally I think that no single person can be blamed. Kids can disappear in an instant. But how can the zoo be safe if a 5 year old can get through barriers so easily?? My heart goes to that family and the man that pulled the trigger

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300. Mother, Grandmother, Great-Grandmother and devote believer in Utilitarianism

     at

     The boy will grow up and write a best seller, “I was The Kid in the Gorilla Cage.” We will all buy it, just to see if his memory of that day corresponds with ours. I hope this child does something worthy with the life that was granted him.

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301. Dawn

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     The thing that bothers me the most is how the mother seems to show absolutely no remorse or concern for the gorilla’s fate.

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     • Gordon Gekko

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       Maybe it’s because she’s too busy fending off all the hate mail, death threats (seriously, people?) and criticism from all the “perfect parents” all over the internet to stop long enough and assess everything that happened. I’m sure she’s still also just simply overwhelmed with relief that her son is alive and basically well.
       Thanks for providing just one more senseless internet comment…………

302. Jodi

     at

     I agree with your statement entirely! Initially I had the same blaming attitude towards the mother, however, after a few moments I realize this happens to so many people, even my mother. People lose their children all the time because children are curious. Additionally, it is easy to place blame on one singular person but it could not have happened if we as a society did not cage these majestic animals and pay to see them as entertainment. So in my opinion you and I are just as at fault for supporting zoos as a part of our society. I am not saying zoos are entirely bad, however, they are not entirely good either.

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303. Notaperfectparent

     at

     All I can say to all of this is initially I was like everyone else and thought the parent was to blame, then I recalled a situation where my husband and I were at a park with my daughter when she was around this age and we took our eyes off of her for one minute and she was gone out of our sight. Thankfully she was just in one of the big tubes things that they have at parks right in front of us but we couldn’t see her. Anyway the point is we are all human and yes we make mistakes and as hard as we try to watch our children closely there is not 1 parent out there that can honestly say that this could never happen to them. Now onto the part about having to put the animal down instead of tranquilizing it. Darting does not take affect immediately, if you put too much meds in the dart you run the risk of killing the animal anyways. If this male gorilla was just protecting this child and you did not shoot it how would you have retrieved the child from him. What is the suggestion, just send a handler in to retrieve the child “are you crazy” this animal was already in protective mode if you sent someone in to get something he was protecting it could have been a whole lot worse for more than 1 person now. I hate the fact that he was put down, but the reality of it is we are talking about a human life and an animal life. We as humans have to know in our hearts that saving the life of an innocent child was worth more than saving this gorilla.

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304. Ellen

     at

     I am a biologist. The zoo did the right thing by putting him down to save the child. Nonetheless, this lack parental oversight may contribute to the extinction of this species on the planet. That gorilla was critically endangered and the anchor of a breeding program. There is no amount of human punishment, money, or science that can compensate for his loss.

     I am grateful that the child survived with only minor injuries. Imagine if he had broached a tiger enclosure! I am especially grateful that this mishap did not result in human deaths–for instance, a child running into traffic and causing a car accident.

     But the consequence here are far reaching for the entire world. As conservationist Jeff Corwin said, “The zoo is not your babysitter.”

     Perhaps we should ban all children from zoos.

     Reply

305. Saeed

     at

     This has been written perfectly and all comes from my heart although I’m not a mom but father of a little girl.
     I love animals too however no matter what happened to the gorilla I’m so happy that you still have your son alive.
     I can never imagine what would I do if it had happened to my daughter.

     It’s always easy to judge the others

     Reply

306. Mark

     at

     A wild life prison is to keep the animal in, which it did. A humans brain is to keep us out so we don’t get harmed. The “zoo” is not at fault with their enclosure. Take some responsibility people. We shouldn’t have these “zoo’s” in the first place, but if you are going to visit one then take precautions.

     Reply

307. Anne Quade

     at

     Kara so well written, my heart goes out to this mother as well. My husband and I were confused as well why the gorilla wasn’t tranquilized. I have two children who have slipped away from me even though I have my watchful eye on them. I pray the media leaves her alone soon! She didn’t make the decision for the zoo.

     Reply

308. Shelly

     at

     This was very well written. I’ve read so many posts about so many “perfect” parents. Woo hoo to them. I for one am not perfect nor will I ever be. I did see on the news a lady who witnessed what happened and from what she said was that this mother had other children she was tending to also. I wasn’t there…..and many of these perfect parents were not there also…they base their opinions on partial news clips, feed off of one another’s thoughts and words to only add their words to it just to make the hateful responses bigger. Anyone who wasn’t there should not be making judgemental accusations against this mother. It’s a shame there isn’t more compassionate people in this world. People thrive on negativity instead of being positive. I realize that we all have the freedom of speech….but people need to open their minds and hearts and quit being one of these people who follow in footsteps of hateful people behind a keyboard and decide that there’s enough hatred in this world and you are not making things better in this world in fact your making it worse. Where is the love??? For the ones who are so perfect that their child “never” left their side….well I sure hope that continues and you don’t ever experience losing your child if even for a split second. Because I’d hate that you’d lose your title of being the “perfect parent”. So with that being said….why not turning this around to something positive…..in turn, I am saddened such a beautiful creature was killed….and also I do understand why they are in zoos. These are endangered species and with them being in places like these do help protect them from being out in the wild. … in defense of the zoo…. I’m sure that they really know this animal more than anyone else in just the publics eyes….they might of seen some behaviors from him that no one else has seen. We only see what we see for a few minutes. What I do question is that the barriers of the animals could be made better and stronger and safer….I really do think that the zoo will do whatever they can to fix those barriers. I end this with sending love to this mothet…and I apologize to her on behalf of all the hateful people….I will pray for your family and that you will overcome this although I know it might be hard.

     Reply

309. Gmom

     at

     At first I was blaming the mother for not keeping
     An eye on her child but my mother reminded me of the scenario that happened to us when my oldest was 4 yrs old. We were & are quick to judge this mother until the ball is in our side. If it would have been your child? We all would have wanted the gorrilla dead! I know I would. And we can’t say “that would have never happened to ME!” If you have a small child? YES? Anything can happen!

     Reply

310. Daylene

     at

     I get that accidents happen. I’m not perfect. I lost my 2 and a half year old daughter in a crowd at the Christmas carnival right next to the water. It took a split second while I was returning my sons friend to his family to make sure he was safe. She could have been taken, she could have drowned, but this is where other members of society need to step in and help out. Here we keep an eye out for others. Someone noticed My daughter they then saw I was searching and put two and two together. Others complete strangers also started to help find her. If these witnesses heard the boy saying these things and saw what was happening, why didn’t they step in? In fear of offending someone? This incident could have been a lot worse it could have been both the boy and this innocent animal who lost their lives. If someone had have stood in this wouldn’t have happened. I don’t care how many death stares I get, or tongue lashings I’m going to step in and support the child to make better and informed decisions, even if it meant grabbing his t shirt as he slipped into the enclosure. Maybe this is just because I’m an Australian and we do keep an eye and ear out for others.

     Reply

311. Peggy Melchionna

     at

     As a major animal lover as well as a mother of 3, I went through all the usual reactions whrn I heard the story, is the child ok, why did they have to kill the gorilla, who was supposed to be watching this child, etc. Its easy to pass judgement when it’s not you. The bottom line is I could be outraged at the killing for the rest of my life, but if that was my child, I would’ve wanted the fastest, most effective thing done to get my child to safety unharmed. And yes, we have all lost track of our child at one time of another. My daughter hid under a clothes rack in Target, it was the longest, most horrifying 3 minutes of my life. I can still remember it like it was yesterday, and she’s 21 now. Its a tragedy for sure, and there’s certainly blame, but its not our place to condemn this woman. There’s enough hate in the world. She’s not perfect, are you?

     Reply

312. Doug

     at

     Thank you for this. I do hope that she sees your letter. It is very well written and well thought out.

     While there was no Gorilla involved, I had my own lost child incident once. We were Elitch Gardens for my Daughter’s birthday. I think she was 7 and our twin boys were probably just under 5. We stayed together as a family, and about every 50-100 feet I would look back and count the kids 1,2,3. Well, at one point after turning a corner, I looked back. One, two…”Honey, where is David?” I went back the way we had turned and ran about 200 feet. No David. Went the direction as if we had not turned. No David. For 20 minutes, I had no idea where my child was. I asked the park staff if they could announce something. They said no. I finally went up to the exit, thinking that if someone were to try to leave with him I would stop them. It turns out, some nice teenage girls had found him and brought him to the guard there. I honestly never felt like he was in any danger, but we were lucky. We went out for Dinner that night and I remember thinking about how my Daughter’s birthday almost turned tragic. That was my worst 20 minutes ever as a parent, and the kids are now 21 and 19. Things happen. You can’t be prepared for everything. And I saw shame on these people hiding behind a keyboard and their self righteous indignation. Unless you have been there, shut up. And if you have been there, you would not think the way these posts are coming out.

     Reply

     • Ray stone

       at

       Many don’t realize that even Mary and Joseph, the parents of Jesus, lost him at the advanced age of twelve for THREE DAYS as they returned home from a feast held at Jerusalem. Oh my! Poor parents?! God gave custodianship over His Son to negligent parents? I think not. (Based upon our culture however, both Mary and Joseph would be behind bars, and Jesus would be in child protective services! )To error is human. The toddler was delivered from harm. A rare, endangered, captive primate was put down. Unfortunate. The zoo safety loopholes were fixed immediately. Good. Enough said. Let us learn from it all and move on and quit the witch hunt and parent bashing. And to all those self-righteous mothers who have watched over their children “perfectly” well God bless you. You did better than Mary.

313. Christa

     at

     Very nice! When I looked at the images My heart almost stopped, this was a horrible accident. What concerns me is that animal life is almost worth more than human life in many of the peoples comments! That is outrageous and just crazy! We are not the same although some people react like animals! Human life is still worth more !

     Reply

314. Martha Lawson

     at

     This letter to the mom is well written and I hope will give her hope.. We should not be judging the zoo or the parent here because it is not our place to do so, none of us were there and second hand accounts are often misleading. the fact is human life trumps animal life any day.

     Reply

315. Nancy Rubinstein

     at

     My sister has 4 children, and 2 are mobile and handicapped. She used a child harness on one of them (the fastest one). People harassed her for treating the child ‘like an animal’. She said it was really horrible going out in public areas sometimes.

     Reply

316. Brian

     at

     What is it with people these days placing blame on everyone, but themselves. So now it’s the zoo’s fault that someone’s child would not listen and climbed into the gorilla cage??? I completely understand that accidents happen, but it’s the circumstances as to why the mother is solely to blame. First of, if you were able to read he now deleted post about the incident, she showed no remorse whatsoever for role. She thanked God for her child’s safety as we all should, however she not once apologized or showed a single ounce of empathy for the murdered animal who also happens to be one of God’s creations. Secondly, witnesses heard the child tell the mother he was going to go into cage. She did reply to him that he was not to enter the cage, but the point here is she now knew her child wanted to enter the cage. On top of that, others had yelled at the boy in an attempt to persuade the child from furthering into the cage thus provding more proof that the boy may simply not listen which comes back on poor parenting. Sure, all our children our mischievous at times, but if your child is climbing into gorilla cages after repeatedly being told not to, then you aren’t doing your job as a parent. If it weren’t for these surrounding circumstances I would chalk this up as a tragic accident, but due to these circumstances and the fact the mother shows no remorse I don’t see how any responsible individual cannot place blame towards the mother. And to address those defending her by saying you don’t know how easily a kid can get away in a split second especially with 4 kids all I can say is this. If you can’t keep track of 4 kids then you shouldn’t have had 4 kids. And personally saying that kids can get away in a second is not an excuse. Of course they can, but responsible parents do everything they can to prevent that especially if our kids tell us something like they want to climb into a gorilla cage!!! Obviously it’s great news the child is ok, however the mother should be banned from all zoos at the least.

     Reply

317. Gena

     at

     Thank you for grace.
     For the rest of you: you do NOT know what was going on in the mind of that gorilla. We only assume what he thought.
     A swat to an arm from an insect that was out of the sight line of a child would have been enough time to have a child “get away” from you.
     Perhaps the zoo learned that more safety measures are needed.
     It was tragic and what is done is done.
     Time to take a step back and have all parties reevaluate next steps moving forward.

     Reply

318. Brent

     at

     Though tragic this animal lost it’s life, this boy’s life was definitely worth sparing. The zoo is ultimately responsible for their facility, safety of visitors, policies on such issues, and answering the media about this incident. And to all the ‘PERFECT’ and judgmental parents who are lashing out against this mother…I pray for your sake that this kind of situation never arises for one of your kids! The arrogance in this country simply amazes me. Oh, and if you are NOT a parent and are posting hate comments about this, you have NO VOICE in the matter because you don’t have any point of reference.

     Reply

319. Vera

     at

     I am truly sorry this beautiful majestic animal had to be killed ….it is heart wrenching BUT the onus is on the zoo. When we are at places like the zoo we let our kids run up ahead to see the animals…we would expect that ever precaution would be in place to keep the public safe..but this wasn’t the case…that little guy should never have been able to slip into that area…are the parents to blame…NO….It is so easy to put the blame on the Mom but anyone with a 3 year old child knows that you can’t continuously hold onto them especially where animals are…he was doing what every 3 year would do run to see… like I said I am heart broken about what happened but they had to get that little guy out..had it turned out differently and the gorilla killed the little guy everyone would have been up in arms as to why they didn’t do more…it is a sad situation all around…

     Reply

320. Jen

     at

     Great article. I have struggled with such mixed emotions regarding this matter. Your perspective helped so much.
     Thank you for the courage to write and publish it.

     Reply

321. Dawn Ogden

     at

     I think people subconsciously want the mother to have been negligent, because then we can sleep at night confident that this kind of thing would never happen to us. We do it all the time. We hear that someone was in a wreck and ask if alcohol was involved. It was? Whew! I don’t drink and drive, ergo, I’ll never be in an accident. They were thrown thru the windshield because they weren’t seat belted? Whew! I always wear my seat belt, so I’m safe from disaster. It’s a false logic. Not that taking safety precautions is bad, but we WANT (subconsciously) for other people’s misfortunes to be because of their own negligence, so that we can feel safer. I have a friend who wound up a paraplegic thru absolutely no fault of her own or her parents. It was very unsettling to me, because I had to face that bad things CAN happen, even if you take every precaution in the world.

     Reply

322. Michelle S

     at

     hmmm, just curious how many of u are from cincinnati and have been to the zoo? I have many times. The Gorilla,exhibit is one of my favorites. For someone to get into the Gorilla area they would need to climb over a small fence and walk a few feet to the edge before falling off…so….as a mother of,2 and having lost sight of my daughter once..just once…I can understand losing them for a moment..but this would take more than a moment to accomplish and surely other adults saw this happening right? so how,are we to blame ( and we all know she will sue the zoo) just the zoo? I never felt my kids were ever in danger visiting this exhibit? The cincinnati Zoo is a wonderful and safe,place,for everyone.just got to follow the rules! To the mother of the little boy…I am sooo happy he is ok, the video was horrifying and i cant i agine what u were feeling…prayers for,your son

     Reply

323. Tina

     at

     beautiful reaction to such a sad and tragic event. As a mom I know how easily things happen and in the end the child is alive and safe which is truly what is most important. I also love animals and hate the idea that this happened, however to all those that BELIEVE they know what was going through the gorilla’s mind ……… Seriously? No animal, not even a beloved pet can be 100% trustworthy 100% of the time. No one knows what could have happened with tranquilizing vs killing the gorilla. Everyone needs to stop assuming, blaming and hating! The child could easily have been killed just by the rough treatment whether the gorilla intended to harm or not. A proactive approach would be to ensure this NEVER EVER happens again. If a child can get in could a gorilla not get out?

     Reply

324. Me

     at

     Why this was an open enclosure for this to even happen baffles me. However, bottom line…. the child’s safety comes first not the animal. I love animals but you have to put things into perspective. People are trying to tell the experts and an innocent mother how to do their job. She was distracted by her other children. She did not make a mistake the only mistake I see here was for the gorilla to have been accessible by anyone other than zoo personnel. Kids lives come first though before any animal.

     Reply

325. Vince Wylde

     at

     Really, people. This simply doesn’t require pitchforks and torches. And the things that actually CALL for the pitchforks and torches? Most of you are ignoring. Time to re-order our priorities. Sucks bad that an endangered species was put down in a split decision. But all the angst and hatred isn’t going to change the result. Neither will sending someone to the gas chamber over it. It’s over kill. It’s mob rules. We need to stop giving in to the lowest common denominator.; All of us.

     Reply

326. Pat Stressel

     at

     Thank you, thank you, thank you!! You put into words so perfectly what I wanted to say. I have 3 children and it is only by the grace of God that they are alive and healthy today. There were many times, in an instant, something could have turned out differently than it did. If you are not a mother then you can not criticize and if you are and say you have never lost track, if only for a moment, of your child, then you are not being honest. My prayers are with this mother and all those filled with hate trying to place blame. It was an accident with a tragic ending.

     Reply

327. Steve Mitchell

     at

     This is an excellent letter. I am AMAZED at the number of perfect parents out there!! How did you all get that way? Did you have a book that told you exactly what to do? I know I have taken my daughter places without my wife. I have been fortunate enough that she never wandered off more than a few feet away. I only have one living child and I can’t imagine how I would feel if something like this happened-I might be tempted to crawl in there myself to save her! This was an unfortunate accident that could have had several different outcomes. The bottom line is, it is over, the gorilla died, which is unfortunate, and the child was saved, which is fortunate. Was the gorilla protecting the child? We don’t know. Would the gorilla have hurt the child, even while protecting it? We don’t know. We know what the outcome was and that is the way it will be. You cannot put liability on a mother because her child got out of her sight. Hate is a horrible thing and I’m sorry that this woman, and ESPECIALLY her child, has been exposed to it in such a manner. Everyone is an expert until it happens to them.

     Reply

328. Don Comstock

     at

     Kara, thank you for writing this. I too, was critical of the mother, thinking that she should have been more attentive. You have given me a dose of reality. My son disappeared in the blink of an eye at a water park when he was small, and it was not because we weren’t paying attention, but because it was crowded and he was not the only child with us. Yes, we found him right away and he was fine. It is tough to keep track of multiple kids at one time, and they take advantage of when we are looking thw other way.

     I have watched the videos and perceived that the gorilla was just taking care of the boy as he would his own offspring. But I do not know gorilla behavior. I also do not know the reaction of gorillas when tranquilized. The professionals that deal with these creatures on a daily basis, and more specifically, with that very gorilla, made a decision, and the result of that decision was that the boy is safe.

     Thank you again, Kara. I have a new perspective. And to you, Mom, if you read this, you are not to blame. You had one hell of a day and do not need the feedback you are getting. As Kara said, just make some good come of it, and treasure the son you still have.

     Don

     Reply

     • bcislandergirl

       at

       amen sisters! I wish you and your family peace MOM.. your only mistake was being human 🙂

329. Barb

     at

     Couldnt have said it better. I tried to make the point that we don’t know her and that we don’t know the circumstance. Could happen to anyone. Whether she is a totally responsible parent who had a temporery distraction or a careless mom I am not in the position to judge. It could happen to the most responsible parent. We dont know her. Parents are the first line of defense and education of children. But even the most dilegent of parents can be and are distracted. You can also wonder with all the people who watched the event who could have stepped in (second line of defense) to stop the child. Did anyone try to stop the child who witnessed the event or did they sit and watch or take videos and pictures. Again, we dont know and we were not there. And the hole or whatever the child got through. Today people are aftaid to step in and help others in emergencies. I can not imagine what she is going through. I am happy the child is safe. But there for the grace of God go I. This can happen to anyone.

     Reply

330. Mykel

     at

     Nice letter to Mom…I am certain that all those haters tapping away furiously on their keyboards would have a bit different perspective if their own 3 year old was on the other side of the glass. As a mom of 5 sons, I totally get it…again thanks for caring enough to offer your empathy and understanding to this family!

     Reply

331. Sue

     at

     I understand what the zoo had to do but it was a result of a mother not watching her child in a crowded public place. If she had other kids she should have had adult help. Where would that family be if he had been kidnapped? That is what happens when you take your hands and eyes off your children. I am so glad her son came out of this ok but this could have ended badly. There are signs all over the place and this had never happened there before. because of her something will be changed like putting them in glass cases or some thing where they are not in there own natural habitat. I hope she does not sue because of her negligence. I do blame her.

     Reply

     • Beth

       at

       Seriously? Now a mom who has two kids can’t go anywhere alone without another adult? Ridiculous.

       However, I’m sure YOU had dozens of adults at the ready whenever you wanted to take your kids on an outing., or to the store, or to pick up the dry cleaning, or wherever. Adult help for multiple children all the time.

       Everyone else is not that lucky.

332. Joseph Harrison

     at

     100% Of The Responsibility Falls On The Zoo, If They Would Have Had Safeguards Set In Place The Child Could Never Have Fallen Into The Enclosure To Start With, And None Of This Would Have Ever Happened. When People Go To A Place Like A Zoo Where There Is Wild Animals You Expect To Be Safeguarded From Exposure To The Wild Animals That Can And Probably Would Kill You, After All Who Would Go To A Place Where They Feel Like There Life Is In Danger. What Was Wrong With Steel Bars With 6″ Gaps So A Person Could Look Through The Gaps And See The Silverbacks With No Chance Of Falling Through. The Zoo Wanted The People To Have A Thrilling Experience Of Realizing That There Is Only 15 Feet Between Themselves And A 400 Pound Beast. So They Would Be Excited And Come Back For More. Excitement Before Safety. 100% Zoo’s Fault.

     Reply

333. Lindalee Johnson

     at

     I fully support your letter to the mom. I too sent a couple of FB responses to some of the folks who said nasty things about this mom. I have triplet boys…now 17, but when they were 3 and 4, a days outing was so challenging. It’s easy to sit back and criticize the mom and the zoo keepers. But really no one could absolutely be sure what the gorilla what have done with the boy. I just wish folks would have more compassion for people, and animals.

     It was a great letter you wrote!

     Reply

334. Mia

     at

     While I agree there wasn’t anything else the zoo could have done to get this child out of there, this should have never EVER happened in the first place. The child did not just fall in as many have stated, the child had to climb over a steel railing, over wire, and get through 4 feet of brush before coming to the moat. There were several people, according to a witness, that had seen this child climb through and did NOTHING to stop him. Several articles state the child told his mother he wanted to go in with the apes and she said no but did NOTHING to stop him. I am glad the child is safe. But this is a killing that should have NEVER happened had someone stopped that child. The mother is very lucky that no one abducted that child because she did not pay close attention to him when he said he wanted in with the apes. Did she think he was just joking? Yes kids can be escape artists but if you have too many kids to handle by yourself in a place that has so many interesting things going on that will grasp a child’s interest, you either put them all in strollers, use kiddie leashes, or have someone there with you to help keep control of your child. While there is nothing that can be done now about it, there is one thing that I have not read from this mother. She has never accepted responsibility for her child getting into the enclosure. She blames the zoo, she blames everyone else but herself. She has never even expressed sympathy for the death of Harambe. As I said I know there isn’t anything different the zoo could have done but it is something that could have been prevented if the mother or the onlookers had stopped this boy in the first place.

     Reply

335. Barb

     at

     Christine, “the parent (mainly her)” Are you kidding me? Why on earth are you laying the blame on the Mother, what about the Father? This mentality slays me. The man has just as much responsibility as the woman. I wish the world would catch up.

     Reply

336. Shana K.

     at

     While I have some sympathy for the mom it is VERY hard to have complete sympathy or even understanding. Several witnesses told the authorities that they heard the child tell her he wanted to go in there and play in the water and she said No but that she was also on her cell phone the entire time instead of watching her children. Again told by several witnesses to the authorities The red flag should have gone up the moment he said he wanted to play in the water and her eyes never should have left him. I have 5 children and when we go out anyplace including the zoo I know where all of my children are at every moment. I am not buried in my cell phone. I paying attention to them and what they are doing so they do not get hurt. While I fully agree the zoo has some responsibility in this incident I am sorry but so does the mother. If she can’t handle 3 kids in public then she should not go out with them alone.

     Reply

337. Michelle

     at

     This is a merciful blog..yes tranquilizers too long to work..plus heavy gorilla could fall and smother child..sad event but could happen to anyone..zoo should make it more child proof

     Reply

338. Danielle Jean-Louis

     at

     This was written so well , thank you so much.. I am a parent of an almost 2 year old and before I had a child of my own I never understood how quick they are. Yes they can be at your side one second (YES SECOND) and the next some where else. It is DEFINITELY NOT the mothers fault and like your story, I too hope that she can carry on with her life like it was prior to this event but sadly due to the haters and people who have no idea what it is like to be a mother I know this will be challenging for her. I wish I could personally message her so Dear Mother of the little boy, if you are reading this, please don’t let the haters affect you. I know it is difficult and having young children without this over your head is hard enough but please from the bottom of my heart know that this wasnt your fault. You are an amazing mother xx

     Reply

339. Michelle

     at

     Sad event..mercy to mom..glad child lived zoo did right thing..tranquilizers would take too long or heavy animal could fall on top and smother kid. ..mercy to all

     Reply

340. Susan

     at

     Thank you Kara for your heartfelt letter. As an avid animal lover myself, it is insane to say that ANYTHING trumps saving the life of a precious child. Those who hate will be dealt with. Mama, please forgive yourself and move on with that precious child of yours. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. (((HUGS)))

     Reply

341. Nikky

     at

     Well written. The decision to kill this beautiful creature was not made by this family. It was made by the people who knew this gorilla the best. I’m not sure if I agree with their decision. Maybe if the bystanders would have remained calm then the gorilla wouldn’t have been a little more predictable. It was clear on the videos that he was not comfortable with all the human screaming from above. People need to remain calm in any crazy situation. I blame them more than anyone. The gorilla looked like he was protecting the child. Who knows what would have happened if someone tried to approach the gorilla to save the child. It only takes a second to crush that little boy’s body even if the gorilla was trying to protect him. He’s much more fragile than a baby gorilla. In the end it was the experts who needed to make the call. I’m not an expert. I can not judge the decision. It’s sad. This family is not to blame. Everyone loves to balme someone. This family will live with this forever. They don’t need hatred.

     Reply

342. Paul

     at

     The zoo has protocol for how to handle this. Is there a possibility a tranq would have worked? Of course.But you cant risk it.

     It is ignorant to say that you cannot blame the parent. The child had gone on about how he was going to climb in the enclosure before he actually did. If someone is telling you they are going to do something and then they do because you failed to stop them you are at fault. So do not blame the zoo’s enclosures when it was the parent’s responsibility.

     Reply

343. Kathrine

     at

     Thank you!! Thank you for being a mother that stands behind mothers!! It’s a shame more do not. It’s sad that we have come to beating each other up over MISTAKES. I wish more people would understand that we need to stop it. The hurtful words people say is completely not ok. You are part of the PROBLEM not the solution. Be the people we need to be…..forgive…..help each other….try to understand. Stop using social media to hurt people. It’s a sad situation but instead of placing blame be the people that create a solution so it doesn’t happen to someone else. That is a true person…..so easy to blame. A lot harder to create a solution. Easy to judge ; interesting we do it without the real facts.

     Reply

     • bridget

       at

       everyone has their opinions on what happened , but im sure if the ones saying it was the wrong call , would not be saying that if it was their child who slipped away in a instant and was in there with the gorilla !! am i saddened he is gone yes but more happy that the child is safe !! and to the mother i hope u are able to just oerlook all the rude comments , and live ur life with ur son and family may god bless u .

344. Mom of 8

     at

     I think the parents should be help responsible for their child actions..this animal did not need to die, but as a parent of 8 children I would have held tightly to a child that wonders off..don’t get me wrong, I lost my 1 year old at a Lowes store I know how kids get away from you in an instant, but if we know are kids are this way protect them form harm and getting lost, what if a stranger took him ,

     Reply

345. Lisa

     at

     I almost never comment on any situation like this, but I had to say that I agree with your support of the mother in this situation. I have felt that the negative remarks, insults, etc. directed at the mother/zookeepers have been completely insane. Yes, a gorilla is a majestic and endangered animal, but the fact that a child’s life was in danger trumps any other thought about this situation. A decision was made quickly to save a child’s life…period. How the child ended up in the enclosure is not the issue…he did and a decision had to be made. The after effects of this will be improvements in the enclosure to prevent this from happening in the future…bad things happen folks…get a grip!! Any one who is a mother understands how quickly children can do things!! Bottom line is, the sanctity of HUMAN life was the number one priority…all of this criticism of the outcome in unnecessary and quite frankly ignorant.

     Reply

346. Katharine

     at

     The fact is that no one knows the history of this gorilla except the zoo staff. I commend the zoo staff for taking the measures they felt necessary to save the life of a child. Yes it is fun to go to the zoo and look at animals, all the while knowing you have a separation between you and the animal….but what if it were you in that enclosure? Have you ever been drug through water? It is horrible and you know you will surely die. Have you ever invested thousands of dollars on an animal, only to have to make the decision to kill it? Have you ever been put in a position to decide in a split second whose life is more important? Endangered species or not, it is a wild animal and they are unpredictable. Yes, it appears the animal was protecting the child-but are you familiar with the animal? Do you know what this particular animal was capable of? It’s history? What if this was not the animal protecting the child-what if it was the animal protecting it’s prey? What if you were the one who had to decide in a split second to attempt sedation on the animal or kill the animal to save the child? Just as humans have adverse affects from drugs, so do animals. I have seen a human on sedatives have the opposite reaction expected.
     The fact is you don’t take a chance with a child’s life. I commend the zoo staff for making the diffixult decision to kill the wild animal. Endangered or not-it isn’t a ‘tarzan’ situation, it isn’t a trained animal, it was a wild animal, yes in captivity so it was familiar with some humans, but you don’t know what it thought of humans. It is sad that an animal we as humans kept locked up had to die, but had this animal been in the wild and the situation happened in the wild, the same result would have come to pass, and no one would be upset about the death of the animal.
     To the parents, I am so very sorry you felt such fear and have to endure this horrible situation publicly. You set out to have a fun day with your family and it ended horribly. I too have a son who is four. He is a typical boy who climbs and is curious. I could have easily been in your situation and your story has made me cry thinking about that. Little boys are fearless and get into many situations we as parents don’t like to see and would love to be able to prevent, but the fact is, it is their nature to be fearless and explore and we as parents want our little boys to explore so they can grow to be good men and make good choices having learned from some of their bad choices while they were little and we parents could still kiss away their problems.
     For those who say they have never been what the world behind their computer screens would see as irresponsible with their child, I confidently call you a liar. For that to be possible your child would have had no scratches, no tears, no sadness….you and your child would have to be Gods of some sort.
     We are humans and we are on the top of theo of chain for a reason. We have the ability to make this world great or destroy it. We help make this world great by having children…we help by making zoos to save species and teach others to respect animals. But despite our efforts to save animals and educate others, when it is between a child’s life and an animal, the human child must win at any and all costs so we can continue to learn about our world and educate others.
     It is a sad situation all around, but if it were my child that had fallen and I had a gun near me I would have saved my child and not thought twice about the animal that could have injured or killed him with a simple flick of the hand.
     All lives are important, but none are more important than the human’s because we have the ability to save all others.

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347. MaryAnne

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     Well said. Thank you!

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348. Kirsty Spraggon

     at

     It disgusts me how quick people are to judge. How mob like the mentality is to get vicious and cruel, to say things like the mother should have been put down.

     Of course it’s tragic, of course it may have been preventable but to say her child’s life isan’t worth it or that she should be dead. Wtf!

     I don’t have kids but with 7 nieces and nephews and one of 5 myself you know how quickly accidents happen and that kids do slip away.

     I love that you are sharing some compassion to out weigh the backlash and hatefulness this woman has endured. That’s the tragedy, how society responds just sickens me.

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349. Heather

     at

     This is a nice letter, but I think you gave into media pressure a tad by saying the mother was negligent if just for a second. I think we are going to pay for coddling our children way too much. A child who is kept on a leash every time he is taken to a river is not being taught to respect the river. Once that leash is gone (because all protections WILL eventually be removed) that child will plunge into the river! Children who don’t take risks don’t learn caution. A 6 year old who never climbs trees will be a 16 year old who speeds around s-curves. An 8 year old who is never allowed to walk to the corner store with a handful of change will be an 18 year old who maxes out the credit card he gets his first week of college. We have to stop sheltering kids 24/7 then blaming parents when they lunge for a second of freedom. Every single person who is blaming this mother is MORE at fault than for helping create this crazy child-unfriendly society in which we are stuck raising our kids.

     It is wrong to say to a mother of a 5 year old that she should keep him in arm’s reach every second. He should be running up to squirrels and butterflies and the little interactive exhibits they have all over zoos. That way the parents can slowly teach him right from wrong. Can correct him if he starts to climb or crawl under. But with this society we live in now where everyone is so judgy if a kid is more than 2 feet from his parents we have zero opportunity to teach them properly.

     Don’t even get me started on the breakdown of the village.

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350. jawdroppedattheignorance

     at

     I lost my daughter at Disney Land for about 5 minutes. It was horrifying. We were walking side by side out of a restaurant in a crowd of people. I had my hands full. She turned to look at something. Next thing I know (seconds later) I am outside the restaurant realizing she is not right beside me. I take off running into the restaurant, frantically looking everywhere, yelling her name. Luckily an employee saw her and saw me, and was able to guide me to her. I am always very careful at amusement parks, but it just happened. Without warning, without neglect. Most parents I know have stories that are the same. Funny thing is, dogs get loose when people are walking them, but animal lovers make excuses for that. I have 5 cats that I love, but sometimes they escape my house. If a dog hops a fence and attacks a human, the “animal rights activist” that owns the dog, would fault the human for defending themselves. It’s just sad. People abort babies every day, I cry for that!

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351. Owen

     at

     Alright. I’ve messed up plenty of times in my life. One time I asked my father what he thought about this idea: I could build a device that would transmit an erroneous speed to the radar gun that the police use. It would register either a ridiculously low or fast speed, and therefor would be discredited. My father told me, “If I’m stopped for speeding it’s because I was speeding and then I must pay a fine.” Well, someone screwed up. Ok. It happens to everyone. What happens next? Ideally, you Own Up to it, then you try to make amends — whatever that looks like. If you just make excuses — that’s not cool.

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352. Patty

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     Beautifully written.
     I might only address one thing that wasn’t discussed here.
     I read that the mother (by herself) was there with 4 children. It is very difficult for one adult to monitor multiple children in a situation such as this. I don’t know her personal situation, the amount of friends she has, etc… but before we take multiple children to a theme park, etc, it might be a good idea to really think about how many children you can feasibly watch. Not only are you, as an adult, watching the children, but you are also viewing the exhibits yourself – wanting to take photos of the animals, take photos of your kids, perhaps talk with another park patron, even if brief comments. All times where your attention is severely divided. It’s easy to get distracted. Take those factors into consideration when planning a visit to a zoo or a theme park.

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353. Bonnie Bauman

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     I appreciate your letter Kara, and through it your attempt to empathize with the mother of the child who fell into the gorilla enclosure. I also have empathy for her, for everyone involved in this tragic situation. And I don’t think she should be publicly shamed for the incident or villianized. But all that said, I do think it’s understandable to question what she could have done differently as the adult responsible for the child.

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354. Amberlyn

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     First of all none of us were there. We have no idea what happened or how it could have been prevented. We do not know the situation so we can not judge.
     Second the zoo did the right thing by putting the animal down. If a dog attacked your child you would expect the owner to put them down. A human life will always be more important than an animals.
     Third and probably most important. Terrible things happen in this world everyday. The killing of a gorilla, no matter how sad, should not even make the news as worse things happen daily. If you truly want to make the world a better place. Find someway to serve and bless the lives of those around you. Maybe foster a child with no home, volunteer at a food Kitchen, donate money to starving children in africa. There are any number of venues you can pursue that would make this world better. Stop persecuting and judging others that only makes the world worse.

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355. Ron Gardner

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     “I, and the rest of the world, will never fully understand why death trumped tranquilization.”

     I don’t get the impression from that statement that you do understand why that decision was made, nor was it a difficult one to make. Tranquilizers do not work instantaneously. The boy was in the grip of a gorilla.
     One may assume, as some already have, that the gorilla was protecting the child. It’s nice to have that armchair quarterback perspective with someone else’s child in there. Still, there could be no way those in charge could take that risk, and I’m sure they would be equally lambasted if they had.

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356. Kathy

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     I am shocked so many parents are admitting to losing their children. I have a 2 and 4 year old with multiple severe food allergies. I have to watch them like a hawk wherever we go. I never let them out of my sight. If I do not feel I can watch them at all time I forgo going to that place. If you can not watch your children at a zoo at all time to prevent them from crawling into a gorilla cage, you should not be at the zoo! I haven’t taken my kids in a year. I haven’t been to many places in a year because of this. Also, the boy told him mom he was going into the gorilla cage – I mean come on, have a conversation with your kid about the gorilla being dangerous and tell him why that is not an option. I think the parenting was lacking all around, and I think it’s a shame a beautiful animal had to die because this lady wasn’t a good parent. When this happened I asked my son if he would want to go on a cage with a gorilla – he said no because they are dangerous.

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357. M4

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     No Animal can be compared to the life of any human being good or Bad. period.

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358. None of your business

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     Well hopefully this mother doesn’t now sue the zoo …. I think they have paid in the worst sort of way! If she does then she deserves the anger that she’s getting from others. Get on with her life and hopefully that kid learned a hard lesson too on disobeying authority.

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     • Sakura

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       Why some people are focusing on the subject of suing the zoo. Why don’t people just be happy for the child’s life and as for the mother, hope that she will learn from this incident and pays more attention to her kids from now on. The zoo is not responsible for this. If she is going to sue the zoo, that proves to us that she is not a decent person. Just thanks God and move on. Of course, we are very sad for the gorilla.

359. Lori Dutton

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     As a parent of 5 grown children and now 5 young grandchildren. I could looked back at at least a handful of times where something dreadful could of happened to one of ours in that flash of time. I don’t know an honest parent who had not had that moment when you can’t even figure out how the child go here or there so quickly. Or something could have happened while you were being human and had a moment of not seeing the danger or looking away. My heart hurt for all the attacks on this poor mom, just trying to bless her child with a great day at the zoo.

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360. Laula Labrie

     at

     When I first read this story, I was mad…. furious… that such a beautiful animal be killed, Then I sat back and thought , OMG what if it were my child???? what would I have done? Tranquilizers take too much time, should I also jump in??? I dont know but the child was saved and now it is up to the Zoo to make sure that this NEVER happens again. We cant keep killing off all our beautiful creatures, It is bad enough that we take them out of their natural habitat and keep them in a zoo, if you do that then its your responsibility to protect them….. and to protect the people that go see them. I am very saddened when I see a dead animal on the side of the road. We are taking away their land and homes, we should be able to take care of them better than that.

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361. Joshua

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     Let anyone who has never lost their child cast the first ridiculing comment , cause their isn’t a single person that can say that! I for one know that they made the hard choice based on the life of a 4 year old and it couldn’t have been easy! We are humans , not gorillas , we don’t know what was going through the animals head ! Bottom line is that everyone pointing fingers and they aren’t as innocent as they are making themselves out to be because I garuntee that if they where in her shoes they would be be thinking a whole heck of a little differently!

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362. Margie Gandy

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     Perfectly Written

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363. Mary Leyerle

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     I agree! It was a tragic accident. As parents, we have all made what, for the grace of God, could have been a critical mistake. You can point fingers and blame until kingdom come but the end result is the child is safe. I don’t believe this one action makes him a demon seed or his parents horrible people. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT folks. Be glad it wasn’t you or your child, because bad stuff happens to good people all the time. It is called Life and it insists on happening. I applaud the writer of this blog for her compassion and understanding.!

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364. B

     at

     The people making horrible comments about the mother and the child are probably the same exact people who would call CPS on me for leaving my kid in the car for 30 seconds while I go 100 feet away to take my other kid into school. They would claim that their concern was for my child. Really, their concern is being judgemental and hateful. Unfortunately the internet has given people like this a safe haven.

     Many things went wrong at the zoo and it resulted in a very sad loss of life but to then turn around and threaten the life of the mother or say her child’s life wasn’t worth at least as much as the gorilla’s is completely insane. This is why we live in a world where the majority of people in our country are adamant we keep refugees of war away while they drown by the hundreds as they try to escape but throw a fit when a gorilla dies.

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365. Tammie

     at

     Bottom line is this is a wild animal. You can’t read it’s mind and predict how it is going to react. The video shows him dragging the child as the people above were yelling and screaming, which agitated the animal, this is when the dragging started. As zoo are places that deal with lots of small children, one should not have been able to get into the enclosure to begin with. They say at home to crawl around your floors to see what a child can get into. Same thing should be in place at the zoo, There should have been no way for a child to get into the enclosure. Children can take off in a instance, before you even have time to react. Unless you were there you have no idea if the parent was being neglectful or not. What I read was the the child had its hand in the moms pocket, and then gone. Mom probably thought that the child just let go for a second. The place was probably busy. Even with the gorilla trying to protect the child, he could of killed the child. It’s sad that it happened but the zoo had seconds to make the decision on what to do, they had to do what they knew would work and save the child. They know the animal. Either way people would have been in a up roar if they had tranquilized the gorilla and he ended up killing the child. They did what they knew would work the fastest to get child out the safest way possible. My daughter disappeared once in a store with 3 adults watching her. She was going around the checkout and we were watching her come around, in a matter of seconds she turned the other way and disappeared. With 3 adults watching, but what we didn’t see in those seconds was she climbed into a closed bike carrier that you tow behind on a bike. After a couple frantic mins of looking for her out of the corner of my eye I saw her move inside it. When this happened we were in no way being neglectful, we were watching for her to come around and she went the other way. A decision had to be made on how to get the child out the safest possible way. They had no way of knowing for sure if by even shooting the gorilla the child would be okay.

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366. Stop the persecution.

     at

     Leave this mother and her child alone. Everyone feels they have to write and say something to the mother when she would rather not hear from anyone as she is indeed saddened by the death of Harambe. Even the kindest words written only continues to open up unnecessary dialogue. . I suggest that everyone go put their child in the enclosure and then personally make the decision how you are going to get you child out making the decision. Then live with the consequences of your choice afterwards. I bet things would be different when it personally concerns your child.

     I for one can tell you I want my child!

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367. Tammie

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     I’m so on the fence with this one. The zoo is at fault for not having the enclosure FULLY enclosed so that a child couldn’t fit through and the parents are at fault for not keeping a better eye on the child. One, two, three, six children, I don’t care how many you have, you don’t “lose” your child! I raised 6 children by myself and NEVER “lost” a child! We went everywhere together…Dr appointments, parks, pools, grocery store, etc, but I NEVER LOST A CHILD and NEVER put my children in harms way! When you don’t watch your child, YOU are putting it in harms way. Sadly, this ALL could’ve been avoided and I sure hope that the zoo builds better enclosures in the NEAR FUTURE! So glad the child will recover physically, but will he mentally? Has anyone thought about how this will effect that child for years to come?

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     • Beth

       at

       Did you ever put your kids in the car? Yes? Then you put them in harm’s way every time. Car accidents are one of the leading causes of death and injury to children, so stop being so holier than thou.

368. Amrinder

     at

     We all parent differently as we all have different experiences and children. What works for one may not work for another…so let’s not criticize each other. This situation was unfortunate and there is already a lot of guilt and blame to go around. I only pray that all zoos check and recheck their animal enclosures so this tragedy never happens again. Let us ALL learn from this unfortunate tragedy and pay more attention to our little ones when out in public or at home. Stay blessed.

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369. Susan

     at

     I love this! So many things you said are exactly what I have been thinking. How is it possible for a child to get in to begin with? My mind is blown at the harassment towards this poor mother. I can’t imagine the thoughts going through her mind during the tragedy and now as the world points blame at her. Praying she finds peace and thanking God for the saved life of a human child.

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370. vickie

     at

     There is just one Question how was the kid able to get in with the Gorilla’s anyway why weren’t they completely enclosed ?

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371. Nan

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     Completely agree. Thanks for being a voice for honesty and kindness.

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372. Angela

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     I understand what you are saying in the article and as a mother it happens to all of us once or twice but what bothered me is in a article of the husband and wife that were beside her when her son disappeared. The mom was on her cell phone and everyone was yelling and saw the child and she stopped talking long enough to ask the gentleman does he have green shorts on. That’s what bothers me no phone is worth the time and money you have just spent to have time with your child at the zoo or anywhere for that matter. Family time is about teaching your child enjoying your child. Putting your cell phones on silent for several hours will not be the end of your world as a adult. If you can’t do that for your child and as a parent don’t have children. It takes more hours then we have in a day to be a mom and parent 24/7 you never get to clock out but that is what you signed up for when you became a parent. That is my question who was so important you couldn’t stay off your cell phone and enjoy the day with your child???

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373. `Brad

     at

     This is Brad, the guy who is from a family of 5, and whose wife comes from a family of 9, Were we angels? No. Were our parents perfect? No. Did they ever leave our sides? No. Did we ever do what they told us not to do? No. Did we all graduate? Yes. Are we all “young” professionals? Yes. Did we give our parents grandchildren? Yes.

     People who want to blame the zoo for this are like people who would blame a pool owner for their child’s death by drowning, even though there were “Do Not Enter” signs posted. Or would blame a car company for an injury in a car that can go 100+ m.p.h., even though the signs set the limit at 55. Or on a tanning salon for skin cancer, even though research shows they can cause cancer.

     I suppose you can see from my comments that I do point the finger at the parent, or any other adult who probably saw the mom wasn’t paying close attention and saw this boy go where he shouldn’t have gone.

     BTW: Our parents have passed, but taught us right from wrong and enforced the rules. We wish this mom had done the same.

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374. Also a mom

     at

     If she had been driving and quickly took her eyes off the road to take a picture and killed another human being or someone else’s child, would you still pity her? Why is it that because it was an animal that got killed that she deserves pity? Sure, the life of the child is more important than the gorillas life, but not once has she said that she is sorry for the heartbreak and damage that she has caused. Please explain to me why you would pity a woman like this?

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375. Jeri

     at

     I so agree with the entire letter to this mother. As a mother and grandmother, we all know children get themselves in a bit of trouble in an instant no matter how closely we are watching over them. My question also is, how can a child of 4 squeeze himself through a gorilla enclosure. While this entire episode is tragic, lets put the reality of the fact, NO CHILD under any circumstance should have been able to squeeze through these bars.

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376. Val Thomsen

     at

     Thank you for your Mercy! For helping people remember we are all human and we all make mistakes.
     Yes, there needs to be things done at the zoo, obviously, so this cannot happen again. And, people need
     to have some confidence on the Professional Animal Handlers and the Response Team to make the best
     decisions, because ultimately, the child was saved.
     Yes, I grieve for the life lost…..I am a huge animal lover and support many programs. But I would
     never try to second guess a situation like this..I wasn’t there, I’m not a professional, I don’t have all the facts.
     And neither does anyone else, except the mom and the zoo officials.
     It’s done, it’s over and we all need to look to the future and ask if there is anything we can do at our local
     levels to make sure it doesn’t happen at our zoos and animal parks.

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377. amy

     at

     I am not here to argue, to point fingers, to accuse or praise anyone. I am commenting simply to say that there are many, many viewpoints on this tragedy, and we *all* should show respect for one another’s views.
     The author pointed out that there was failure on many levels ~ and this is the simple truth.
     I am so saddened by the loss of Harambe, for many reasons… and I am so saddened for the child who went through this ordeal. I am also saddened for the mother who is receiving such hatred and even death threats. I am, also, saddened for those who are spewing hate and threats…
     Thoughts are with everyone who was involved in this tragic event.

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378. liz c.

     at

     i stand by the mother of that child and do not blame her for what happened – i feel really bad for all she is going thru now – like others have said, we all have accidents happen and we r not perfect! to all those who r blaming her, how would u feel if every imperfection / accident / weakness…etc. were put on display for the world to judge? u would want understanding and mercy and forgiveness in ur case. and it’s unreasonable to think that a parent can prevent every possible scenario w/ their child or keep an eye on them every second. and children r innocent and curious. the zoos should do everything they can to prevent any way of a child or adult to access an animal enclosure. this was not the fault of the mother or the innocent child. “remember it is the merciful who will obtain mercy.”

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379. Courtney

     at

     People are so ignorant now a days with social media. If anyone should be blamed, how about all the “witnesses” that claim they watched him climb up and over ect. I am a mother, aunt, sister….. I would have grabbed that little boy and told him no its dangerous. Not watch him climb to his”death”. I have personally helped children that I did not know with out second thinking it, in way less dangerous situations.

     Yes it’s an endangered animal, but everyone deserves mery. Even all the negative bad mouth ignorant fools out there.

     If you all need someone to blame… blame the heartless witnesses that allowed that little boy to do what he did as his mother dealt with other children. They just watched and didn’t care.

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380. Mandi

     at

     Yes, Yes, a thousand times yes! To the mother, I am thankful that your son is well. I pray that you can forgive the hatred that is spewing from “the mob” and focus on the blessing of a son who will continue to grow up!

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381. Tina

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     As I agree with 90% of what you have written, which in the end really doesn’t matter because everyone has their on feelings about the whole situation, what I don’t agree with is everyone attacking the people who do not agree with you but especially the mothers who have said they have never taken thier eyes off of their children, some mothers are like that and has never experienced a child wondering off. My daughter did one time into a clothes rack although 99% of the time she held my hand, that one time scared me so bad I did get a child leash, if we were in a store she stayed strapped in the buggy and once she got to big for that she rode in it. I made her hold my hand until she was 11 years old, anyway the point I was getting to is Kara wrote an amazing article , but in it she metioned how the hate and backlash the mother is getting, yet people on here are attacking the others who stated they have never lost their child, the people doing this is no better than the people who are attacking the mother of the child this happned too. Is that not spreading hate, judgement and bullying? None of us are perfect and the mothers weren’t saying they were but saying nasty things including name calling is also wrong. People like to bully behind computers now, which is sad. I don’t get into discussions like this because we have become a nation full of hate and I too will get backlash but remember saying the nasty thngs to those mothers are just as bad.

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382. Shay

     at

     I cannot believe some of the comments coming from the “human race” that are so negative and hate filled, it’s dramatic to say the least. People I for one would not want to see the little boy killed by a gorilla and that was the case he could have easily been killed even if the gorilla was being “protective” he’s a strong animal and it’s strength alone could have easily killed the child. What did all you haters want the out come to be that the child get killed and the gorilla live? Would you rather that? What happened happened there was a judgement call to be made and it was made and a beautiful, innocent little child lived. Imagine that he lived!! We should be rejoicing in the life of a child and not hating on the mother! We should be grieving the loss of the gorilla not hating on the mother! Shame on all you haters I cannot believe some of the comments made. It is no one’s fault it’s an accident that happened they happen every day it’s a part of life. Can we change the out come of this situation now no we can’t but what we can do is learn from it. We now know that the enclosures need to be better so accidents like this doesn’t happen in the future. There’s a lot to be learned from this incident and for any one to judge or make negative comments towards the mother is nothing but down right rude and mean. The mother did not purposely place her child in harm, things happen! I’m just happy the little boy gets to live and hopefully one day will get to tell his story to his children!

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383. Destinee

     at

     Who are we to say that any humans’ life is more important than an animals? Whether it was the parents fault or not at the end of the day an animal should not have to die because of human actions, whether they were intentional or not. I’m not saying to completely neglect the child and leave it in the pit. There should be plans already in place that do not involve harming the animal; and if there isn’t you better put on your thinking caps and come up with something fast.

     In my opinion Harambe never should’ve been in a zoo to begin with. If the animal is unfit to be in the wild where it belongs put it in a sanctuary or somewhere solely focused on the wellness of its animals. They are not here for our entertainment.

     To be honest I am surprised at how many people are infuriated by the situation being that for a long time humanity has not seen animals as equals. Sure this specific situation may die down but I hope that this changes the way we view/treat animals. At some point we have to take responsibility for our actions.

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384. MILEY PITTS

     at

     You have a lot of comments good and bad. Just look at the good ones. I feel the bad ones are from ones who doesn’t think of what if it was them. I put myself in your shoes and that poor childs . I cried to think of what that poor child must of went thru. To have an animal that big pulling on him and he doesn’t know what is next. This for people that is on the animals side. He was a beautiful animal but what about the safty of that child. We don’t even know how a humans brain works and what they think. So how can you say that child was safe. Just because one ape saved a child does nt mean that one will. You don’t know what is going on in the mine of that ape the little boy was very lucky and under GOD CARE. GOD BLESS YOU Mother the best for both of you .

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385. Tara

     at

     What makes me sick is that more people tend to care more about the gorilla than that of child………………

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386. Gene Sills

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     I like the way you wrote that, But I got to say when it comes between an animal or child I would shoot the animal my self, Very caring the way you wrote it. God bless the mom

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387. Jules

     at

     Such a well written article and I completely agree, no one has the right to judge this mother and I think the Zoo acted in the most responsible way they could, given the situation. . I happen to be a very over protective Mum who kept an extremely close eye on my 4 daughters at all times. My husband is a Police Officer so between the 2 of us, we constantly kept them as safe as humanly possible at all times. Until one day while traveling from the Australia to the USA. We had a well planned out system with our 4 extremely well behaved girls who ranged from 6 months to 7yo at the time. While at the Korean airport inside the Disney Store, in what seemed like 30 seconds, we couldn’t find our 3yo. The overwhelming fear and panic that over took us was torture. How on earth could 2 parents who’s utmost concern and responsibility was to keep their daughters safe, have lost their child in a foreign airport? Fortunately a kind person had found her and she was waiting with security. The whole ordeal lasted about 10 mins, even though we realized it within 30 seconds. We had never felt fear like we did that day and thank God that things turned out the way they did. We were upset at ourselves that neither of us had looked at her in those 30 seconds but guess what, we are human. Sadly no matter how hard we try to consistently keep an eye on our children at all times, things can happen. I don’t understand how this little boy was gone for 10 mins and able to cross so many barriers without someone noticing but then I wasn’t there and none of us know the exact circumstances. I will say this though, I heard that mother on the video, talking to her child, telling him she loved him and to remain calm. I don’t know how she managed to do that as I doubt o would’ve been able to remain so calm but I commend her for that. She doesn’t deserve condemnation and hatful words telling her what a terrible mother she is. It was a sad situation all around and it’s awful that a beautiful creature had to be killed over it but I am so grateful that her little boy is okay. None of us are perfect and as for these mothers who say they would NEVER lose their child, yeah we’ll take it from me, no matter how hard you try, you cannot control every second of every day and I pray that you realize you are human too and it could happen to you. It takes only sa second

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388. Moshe Z. Matitya

     at

     I agree with everything you wrote except for this:

     “I and the rest of the world, will never fully understand why death trumped tranquilization.”

     Because everywhere except for Hollywood movies, tranquilizers take a while to render a subject unconscious, while a bullet to the head does so instantly. And when this incident was happening, a split second could have meant this child’s death. That’s hardly difficult to understand.

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389. Sharon

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     Thank you for saying what I have thought in my heart since the outrage began. I am also a mother of 3 . I know how quickly things can happen. It is a tragic accident. Attacking the poor mother who feared for the life of her child will not bring the gorilla back. I pray for everyone involved.

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390. Yolanda

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     I’m always weary of people who use absolutes such as “never” and “always”. There are few absolutes in life. When people use absolutes such as, “I NEVER take my eyes off of my child,” they immediately lose credibility. Absolute statements are often used by people who are insecure and have a need for attention. This letter is well written and offers grace, which is something we all need at times.

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391. Ryan Loyd

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     repost from my Fbook on the matter:
     On that awful gorilla incident- not posting a link, 4 year kid climbed into a gorilla enclosure, they had to shoot the gorilla: terrible all around.
     Lots of blame flying around- I’m not going to engage it.
     What I Am going to say is, there have been Numerous times I’ve kept somebody else’s children from calamity, because I watch kids. Any kids, All kids, I can’t help it. I grew up at a summer camp and this sheep dog nature has been instilled in me from birth.
     Most of the time, I don’t mind, as kids are sneaky tricky little things that are talented at finding ways to get into trouble. Sometimes, parents really do need to keep an eye on their damn kid.
     But this doesn’t matter, if we all keep an eye out when there’s kids around, maybe some of these tragedies can be avoided.
     It really does take a village, and just cause it’s not clear what that constitutes anymore, doesn’t mean we should abandon the practice.
     Just keep an eye out.
     maybe the world will be a little more decent place.

     Reply

392. R

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     This was a bad situation all around and mistakes were made that cost the life of that beautiful, endangered gorilla.

     Gorillas are self-aware animals, and even a 400 pound male silverback is more nurturing of youth than you can imagine. They know their young, and they know human young. This gorilla perceived the child in danger and tried to help and protect him. Yes, the gorilla is huge and powerful, but being self-aware they are also aware of their own strength. He was never going to hurt that child because he knew he was scared and not a threat.

     This isn’t the first time such a thing has happened with a child in a gorilla pen. The gorillas have protected the children. They were gentle, despite their strength potential. They kept sentry vigils until zookeepers they trusted came in and coaxed the gorillas through trust and talking to step away and be recaged so the children could be retrieved.

     THAT is what should’ve happened here. If their first thought, or anyone’s first thought, is to kill the gorilla, then sit back and re-examine your motives and their incompetence. Sad that your first thoughts jump to killing. What a culture we have.

     Yes, I am an animal advocate, but I am not part of an angry mob. There are correct ways for zoos to have these animals to protect them and display them for the education of humans worldwide.

     I am also an advocate for children, as well as a parent. Is it judgment for me to blame the mother when most parents have lost their kids at some point? Perhaps, but then I never lost any of my kids in public. I hold hands. I make chains of hand holding. And I used strollers, even after toddler stage. A four-year-old is not only antsy and energetic, he’s barely over a toddler and will exhaust just as quickly.

     This doesn’t have to happen. This Fifi NOT have to happen. Mom was messing with her cell phone. She has the primary responsibility to care for her child, and therefore is primarily responsible for this situation. I’m sorry, but she is.

     If you are spending time with your kids, spend time with your kids. Put the phones away. Calls are unimportant. They can always call back. You cannot get back time with your kids, and if this had gone worse, you can’t get your kid back.

     You got lucky this time. Let’s hope there won’t be a next.

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     • AJ

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       EXACTLY.

393. steffaniD

     at

     The death of this beautiful creature saddenes me greatly. Especially with everything we know about how smart and protective of humans gorillas are.

     But I think everyone needs to take a big deep breath and imagine for just a moment that this was your own child in this situation. Just imagine for one minute the absolute horror you’d feel seeing your child being dragged around like that. All it would take is one second, one wrong move for that child’s life to be gone.

     Human life trumps animal life in every situation, whether there was neglect involved or not.

     And to all you people out there demanding that the mother of this child suffer more than she already has. SHAME ON YOU! I pray the day never comes when you find yourself or someone you love in a situation similar to this. Where someone you love is hurt or even killed because you weren’t the perfect parent.

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394. Sheri

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     I honestly cannot believe that someone on this thread said the gorilla was endangered and a child wasn’t. That her children NEVER misbehaved at a Zoo!!! SERIOUSLY?!?!?!? People, be careful what you say and how you point your fingers. Our words tend to come back and haunt us!!! This is a tragedy yes but a child’s life WAS in danger. Even if the gorilla was protecting the child as its own, I’m sure a baby gorilla can handle much more than a human child. If you are a parent, you KNOW that children are QUICK! Things happen in a heartbeat. If you don’t have children under your care on a regular basis then you don’t understand how quickly and easily things can happen no matter how closely you watch them. I wasn’t present, so far be it from me to judge…even if I had been. I just know it’s not right to say an animals life is endangered and a human child’s life is not.

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     • questions

       at

       honest question. Not to make anyone angry, but why is that childs life worth more then the gorillas?

     • Kia

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       Each life is equally important. It’s a different story if you are the mother

395. Mary Gerelene Dominici

     at

     I am an older woman and frankly I thought I knew a lot. The open letter to the mom has taught me a lesson that I’m hoping I will never forget. Compassion for the hurting and it has also taught me, I don’t know as much as I thought, do my research before I respond to anything in this life. I now believe the right decision was made and I’m thankful that that wee child was not harmed.

     prayers to all

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396. Henry S Edwards

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     It is also easy to judge whether or not a tranquilizer or gun be used to save a child’s life. The actual person making that decision does not have the luxury of time to consider the judgment he may fall under once that judgement is made. His only priority was the saving of life. He chose well, despite the sadness everyone feels as a result of his decision. i thank God for it, because the child lived through the ordeal.We will all have those among us who are holier than Thou and perfect in every slit second they have had to make under the conditions of a child in the hands of a monstrous sized animal, but common sense overrules emotions that run high and cause anger to be thrown upon the mother in harsh words. I am glad we did not find out how the Gorilla would respond to the instant threat and pain of being shot by a tranquilizer. Most likely the story today would be a dead child and anger at the man for not shooting a gun and killing the gorilla. There isn’t a parent among us who has not lost sight or have become distracted from constant watch of their child, they just want you to believe they are and lashing out in pain of the loss of such a beautiful animal.

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397. Cathy

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     I am outraged that so many people think they have a leg to stand on when taking aim at this mother. You are either a parent OR you are not a parent. If you aren’t a parent, then you have NO idea what it’s like to be a parent, so I forgive your naivety. If you are a parent, then shame on you! You want to argue that you have NEVER, for one second, in a public place, had that moment of fear, quickly scanning to lay eyes on your precious baby! She may very well be an amazing mother! There are a million circumstances that make losing sight of your child possible. I have 4 children, and this could easily have happened to me. NOT because I am neglectful! Not because I don’t love my children. Not because I am a terrible person. Because I am human! All that aside, a beautiful Gorilla was killed. I am deeply saddened for all those who loved him. I applaud those that sized up this situation and took action! Sadly, no matter how they handled they were damned either way… this world needs to STOP judging and have mercy!

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398. Sandy

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     Seriously even animals protect their own, that’s what we do. To all those out there saying the gorillas life was more important than the child’s, I hope you never have any children! If it was any member of your family you would have shot it yourself. And if you say no you wouldn’t then your a liar or not playing with a full deck!

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399. Amanda

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     This is our zoo and we love it because of how natural the habitats are. We have lived in several different states and cities and this zoo has the happiest animals. It also leads the country in its love of animals and natural habitats (the first zoo in the country to create these habitats also one of the leaders in the country in green/sustainable energy/habitats). I’m sure this was a difficult decision. I am not an expert so I have no right to have an opinion either way. I’m guessing this is the same for most of the haters out there. I’m also curious how the child got in. My first thought when I heard the story. It seems impossible for a child to get in and scale the wall to the gorillas. It is not a dangerous exhibit and I do not have any concerns about the animals escaping. It was just a freak and tragic accident.

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400. Rebecca

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     First of all it may be “hate” for some. But I believe it’s anger for most. Angry that yet another innocent animal is dead because of the lack of intelligence on the part of many individuals. I’ve been a mom for 25 years . You don’t argue with a 4 year old. You take charge as a parent. You correct your children . This is not a judgment call this is COMMON SENSE. This is taking responsibility for your actions or the lack there of. The truth is she was not watching her child and there’s no getting around that. She shouldn’t be concerned with what people are saying she should be looking at what she could have done and can do better to make sure it never happens again. Why are we so concerned with what the rest of the world thinks? Those thoughts will not change what happened. There are rules and rules need to be followed especially when it comes to children. Where was she when the child started to climb the fence or railing if she was watching him she would of had time to grab him. When a parent sternly corrects a child they should listen if they don’t then you take the child and walk away. There are many things that could have been done to avoid this happening.

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401. Joe

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     I just have to shake my head when reading some of these comments, are some of you people serious! the gorilla is an animal,the little boy is a humane being, end of story.For the gorilla lovers here…ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!…Tranquilize the gorilla??..Hey maybe if asked nicely the monkey might have given the baby back to it’s folks and made a little heart shape with it’s hands….the La-La land some of you live in seriously freaks me out…Good job Zoo,you did what you had to.

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402. WANDA BRUENDERMAN

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     The biggest problem I see is that children are no taught boundaries. They are allowed to run off in stores and play with toys and crawl on shelves. They are allowed to run around in restaurants and at government buildings and doctors offices. How can we expect a child who believes that the world is a playground to understand that THIS time mommy means no. None of the other places or times were life threatening maybe, but those are the practice places for teaching children safe and acceptable behavior for public places. YES parents are distracted easily, YES the world makes excuses as to why parents should not be held accountable for their children’s behavior. When was the last time you were at a school or a park or a sporting event? Children are not required to sit down and behave. Parents are not required to be responsible for their children. Yes, sometimes tragedy happens, but this was avoidable. No, the mother should not be stood before a firing squad and shot. Yes, this and every parent needs to be held accountable for their children and the behavior and actions of each and every child in their care. YES, if you are working on teaching your child to say with you, then put one of those wonderful leashes on them. NO the are not harmful or demeaning, they are a wonderful safe way to keep your child safe while they are learning NOT to run off in public. Keep your child with in the grocery store (and give other shoppers a break) and they will learn to stay with you in other places. Give this mom and other parents your support and your compassion. But let us raise children who are safe and safely a part of our world family.

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403. Sandie

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     To all of you who think this animal was *protecting* the child…please do your research! The video was edited and the most aggressive parts removed. This animal threw the child at least 10 feet in the air. Landed on his back! He also smashed his head against a brick being tossed around like a rag doll. In NO WAY was this child EVER safe. NOT ONE of you would say or feel the same way if it was your child and you’re anything but experts when it comes to these animals. Please stop making very uneducated comments! This mother is having to suffer enough over this. Plus GOD FORBID any of you take your eyes off your child for a split second and something happens to yours…FYI he WASN’T the only child she had and was tending to one of her others at the time. We, as mother’s don’t have 8 eyes and arms. Plus…it is the ZOO’s responsibility to provide the proper safety enclosures. Kids are kids…you make it that there is NO possible way one could get through unexpectedly!

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404. William

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     I am actually a bit annoyed after reading this letter. I don’t like the “mistakes happen and because you are a parent you get a free play” message. The fact is that yes, this was a terrible situation and there werent any parties involved, I assume, that had bad intentions going in. It was one of those wrong place and the wrong time deals that can happen to any of us. With that being said, and if you are a parent, when you are in public with your child, just like when you are in private, that child is your responsibility and yours alone. Yes it is unfortunate as this could have happened to anyone, but just like anyone else would be to blame, so is this parent for not being responsible for their child the way they should be which is 100% of the time. You cannot say “95%” “90%” because the parent is the only one responsible and not anyone else for that child. Had this parent been 100% responsible, then this child would not have had the opportunity to venture off. It is not the zoos fault for the lapse happened with the parent not being 100% responsible. I do feel bad for this parent, but my feeling bad for them does not mean they are not responsible for what happened.

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405. Kandra

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     Thank you, Kara, for being KIND!

     Reply

406. k t b

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     What I can’t understand is that so many people are concerned for the animal that was killed but think nothing about all the millions of babies that are aborted each day. I’m sure many people will disagree with my statement but I stand by what I’ve written. A baby is far more important than an animal.

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407. William

     at

     I am actually a bit annoyed after reading this letter. I don’t like the “mistakes happen and because you are a parent you get a free play” message. The fact is that yes, this was a terrible situation and there werent any parties involved, I assume, that had bad intentions going in. It was one of those wrong place and the wrong time deals that can happen to any of us. With that being said, and if you are a parent, when you are in public with your child, just like when you are in private, that child is your responsibility and yours alone. Yes it is unfortunate as this could have happened to anyone, but just like anyone else would be to blame, so is this parent for not being responsible for their child the way they should be which is 100% of the time. You cannot say “95%” “90%” because the parent is the only one responsible and not anyone else for that child. Had this parent been 100% responsible, then this child would not have had the opportunity to venture off. It is not the zoos fault for the lapse happened with the parent not being 100% responsible.

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408. Marsha

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     I understand that accidents happen. And i dontt understand why they didnt use tranquilizers. But at the same time i think the parent is at fault. If your child is that young then they need to be strapped in a stroller or tied to your wrist with one of those wrist things. Especially in a zoo. I have seen so many parents who are paying attention to everything but there child and then pannick when they dissapear. Theres too much going on in the world for us to not watch our kids constantly. At any age. I see all the missing kids on walls of walmart and on telephone poles and anywhere else these days and im sorry but i blame the parents. I had 3 kids with me at all times. Either strapped to me or in strollers or carts and they are all grown and healthy.

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409. Bhen

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     Firstly great letter.

     Secondly put yourself in the shoes of the authorities: Once the child was in the enclosure (not letting them off the hook for allowing that to happen so bear with me), there were ONLY BAD CHOICES:
     a) Take the risk that the kid could die (regardless of all the second guessing, this was a non-zero probability.)
     b) Limit your risk by killing Harambe

     It was a business decision – as horrible as that might sound. If you went with “a” and it backfired, the zoo would assuredly have been closed or crippled with lawsuits. If you went with “b”, you have critics but the zoo would survive. What would you do?

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410. val hexter

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     Thank you Kara..RIP Harambe…I am so sorry!

     Reply

411. Francine Huy

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     https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1203379103029809&set=a.136952966339100.18704.100000731932790&type=3

     Another great article from someone who worked with these animals

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412. Tina

     at

     Such a sad story, however I blame the zoo for this tragic loss. if you had proper safety measures this ordeal wouldn’t have happened. If a child can get that close and fall in it tells me that you aren’t concerned about the well being of the public. I think this zoo needs to be investigated for negligence. A beautiful creature is dead because of their carelessness. We all know children can get away from their parents and no one is perfect but in a zoo or other places that could be dangerous it is the parents responsibility to have control of their child the whole time. This is a no one win situation for all involved.

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413. Rissa

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     I don’t know, theres two sides to this story – One. The fact the child even go in and Two. The fact that the gorilla was shot. As I read an above comment, saying “why not try and distract him with something he likes”, weather it be food or a toy to get him away from the boy, before resorting to shooting him. Yes it was possibly a dangerous situation for a four year old boy to be in, but honestly I personally think they just took the route they took because of legal reasons. I mean, they could’ve possibly sued the zoo because they didn’t have proper precautions on the enclosure, allowing they’re child to fall in. I’m not sure what legal actions they could have taken if they didn’t shoot the gorilla or if they can still take legal action, but that’s just my thought – Maybe they killed the animal because of the scare of legal action’s towards them?

     I know that it is in-fact possible, no matter how good a parent you are to lose you’re children. Not having children myself, but the fact that I myself wandered away in a shopping mall from my grandma, at a young age – It happens, but it may also be preventable.

     It’s sad to see an endangered species die to sad failures like not having proper guarding on enclosures. Also people saying it was just an animal? It wasn’t just an animal. It had feelings too like you and I. I don’t necessarily think zoo’s are bad, but they aren’t good either – They have good causes, etc. Like the fact you can go see an ENDANGERED species without disturbing them in they’re natural habitat(s). Maybe soon, zoo’s will be the only place we can see ENDANGERED species since humans seem to be killing them all. But it probably stresses the animal(s) out too – It’s very sad.

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414. Darrell McElmurry

     at

     Folks, with all the poison and hate in our air, in our food, in our schools, in our politics, in our media, in our music, and in our church’s can you not find any grace for this mother? Hating her is not going to bring back this magnificent gorilla but is is going to hurt this mom and her son even more. What good does it do? Forgive her and her son and let it go.

     Scorners are hypocrites everyone of you. You say protect the earth but do nothing to stand up for the hearts of people.

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415. Ginny

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     People please …unless you are a gorilla expert I do not think you can comment on outcome or what gorilla was thinking. People are becoming absolutely dumbed down by photo shop. I absolutely cringe at these ridiculous Facebook picture of polar bear with Cubs touching had of guy with camera for eg. Ru friggin kidding me?! That is not polar bear behavior! But it would be to eat you. Stop expecting animals to be human. Even a lot of dogs are not thrilled by overzealous humans rushing up to pat them with their kids in toe. If it was my kid do you think I would say hmm 50/50 don’t shoot him. No I would let the animal people make whatever decision to save my child they saw fit. Unfortunate situation occurred and not a senerio for second guessing. People complaining about 10 mins – stop watching TV – real shit happens in real time.

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416. robert beaudreault

     at

     This beautiful animal was shot by the people who loved him most. You do not get a job at the zoo if you feel any other way. They did not have the luxury of instant replay and had to make a split second decision because as much as they loved the gorilla, this was a human child he could have killed in an instant.
     As for your part, you are a mom that has to live the the fact that you are not God therefore you are not perfect. You will relive what you could have done and should not have done a million times. Please do not let this sour your boys experience of climbing a tree he may fall out of. Or learning to swim where he may drown. Or chasing that ball when he may get hit by a car…… (ok, reign him in on that one)
     Just realize that you have a boy. he obviously is a handful and will get his skinned knees. Can you imagine what it was like to raise Steve Erwin? (the crocodile hunter) Or the Wright Brothers? Boys have been jumping out of barn loft windows since we started building barns and cliffs before that. They are boys!!!!!
     Try to direct his adventures but please, please please don’t kill them too. Who knows what he will become if allowed to hang upside down on the monkey bars where he can fall and break his neck. After this I am sure that God has big plans for him. He will be protected by a higher power than us

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417. Sue Tubbs

     at

     Thank you so much for this letter, hope you will influence some of the haters. I agree with you and wonder why there has to be blame. The zoo hopefully will learn from this incidence and better protect both the animals and the public. Thank You again

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418. J Matthew

     at

     I see two different issues in your article. Number one: should the gorilla have been shot? As sad as it is, I have to agree with the zoo’s response team. Shooting the gorilla to save the child’s life was the right decision. The gorilla was an animal, although a beautiful and endangered one. The child is a human. If my child had been in that enclosure, I would have wanted the zookeepers to ensure its safety. Once the child was in the moat, they had very little choice.

     Two: Should the mother be excused for her carelessness? No. Yes, people make mistakes. People are also held accountable for their mistakes, especially when they cause possible injury to others or deprive them of valuable property. A little research tells me that the low end of the price range for a gorilla is $400,000. This mother’s carelessness cost the zoo and the people of Cincinnati at least that much. Her inattention also put her child’s life in danger, especially since eyewitness accounts tell us the child had announced to his mother he was going to crawl into the gorilla cage.

     If you are driving by my house and are inattentive and run into my mailbox, I expect you to pay for it. If you carelessly hit a member of my family, I expect you to go to jail. Mistakes happen to all of us, but some are more costly than others. And that’s fair.

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419. Pat

     at

     Great letter! Thanks for saying what so many of us were feeling!

     Unfortunately, the internet and social media has created a bunch of wanna-be, armchair quarterbacks that think they know everything, about everything! If you were not there, you do not have a clue what really happened.

     “But the media,” you say? We should know by now that we cannot really trust the media. First the boy was 3, then he was 4. They were reporting BEFORE they had the facts. Nothing new here! Even the people at the gorilla habitat did not see everything because Harambe was upset by the yelling and drug the boy (by the leg, face underwater, but no one cares about that…), to the other end of the mote, behind a corner where they could not see. I read on another article that Harambe threw the boy on his back, as he would a baby gorilla, but the boy bounced off of the concrete wall. Did Harambe do that on purpose to hurt the boy? Probably not, but when you have a 400 pound animal that can crush a kids skull with their hand, you have to think about these things.

     RIP Harambe! You were a majestic being and gave many people pleasure while you were here on earth! Hopefully, they will fix the habitat to where if another child were to get through, they would fall into a net and not land in the habitat. It is a miracle alone that the child did not land on his head and die from the fall!

     Speak peace, people! We are all family and we need to care for each other, not try to destroy each other for something that quite frankly, we do not know how we would react because we were not there. God bless!

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420. Steve

     at

     Thanks for this. People have lost their minds. The gorilla was a great guy, but better him than that precious little boy. Leave the poor woman alone for crying out loud. Good article.

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421. Anna

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     Thanks so much for writing and posting this. I also have nothing but compassion for every creature involved. Blaming is pointless, and counterproductive. There but for the grace of god go I – both as the mother and the zookeeper who made the decision to shoot. There but for the grace of god go I.

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422. Lilly

     at

     Kara, I do appreciate your show of compassion towards the family of the little boy. In a world full of harshness, it is so good to see. However, I need to respectfully disagree with your stance. I am a Kindergarten teacher (as well as a mother) and have taken 27 five year olds to the zoo on field trips. Had this incident occurred to one of my students under my watch, his or her parents would rightfully be completely furious that their child was not being properly supervised. Parents should and do expect that those of us who are supervising their most precious commodities put their children’s safety first 100% of the time. I take this enormous responsibility very seriously. I wish all parents took this responsibility to heart as well. Children are dependent on us to keep them safe. They rely on adults to keep them out of damgerous situations. They need us to keep track of them when they are only four years old and at a very large open and public place such as a zoo. Instead of the conversation being, “This could happen to anyone, let’s give this mom a break and not judge her.”, I wish the conversation was more geared towards let us all take this story as a reminder that we really and truly need to take the safety and supervision of young children more seriously. We need to make a better attempt to watch our kids. I know it’s a difficult task. I’m very much aware that children are quick and determined. It doesn’t matter … we’re still responsible for their safety anyhow. They really need us. No one said it is an easy task, in fact it is a monumental one. We need to work harder at it nonetheless to prevent tragedies like this happening. In the end, this was definitely a preventable incident which really makes my heart hurt for the lost gorilla. I’m completely aware accidents happen, and can happen quickly. But in the same manner that every day I fervently hope drivers on the road are paying attention to what is going on so they don’t cause accidents that cost lives, I hope parents are paying close attention to their young children to avoid such sad headlines as this one. We can all do better.

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423. betty lou

     at

     I think that the mother should of had a leash on the child especially at the zoo, tragic things can happen real quick.

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424. Lori

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     Kara,

     Thank you for your beautiful letter. My prayers go out to this mother and her family.

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425. JULENE PICCO

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     CARA VERY WELL SAID MY PRAYERS FOR FAMILY INVOLVED. NO PARENT IS PERFECT.

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426. Bethany

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     Well said. Good for you for putting this out there.

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427. Starchild

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     It’s not mom’s or child’s or gorilla’s fault. Things happened exactly the way they are supposed to happen that very moment in time. Let go and move on. Yes, keep the fences much safer by learning from this incident.

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428. trace

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     I think this is a tragic accident for all involved. As a mother and grandmother I fully understand how easy it is for a child to dart away from you, even when you are extremely conscious of any danger around. I also know how devastating it would be for the zoo to have needed to take the action they did, with an animal they have loved and cared for for many years – these animals are part of the handlers’ lives – killing him would not have been an easy decision. But I think you need to trust the actions of the workers who know the animal, and his body language, and his actions – believe me they would not taken this course unless it was absolutley necessary to protect the child. And while we can all jump on the mother and blame her, accidents DO happen. We all make them. This was simply an accident with a thankfully safe outcome for the child, and a tragic outcome for the animal. Sad for all involved.

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429. Glad

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     I am assuming that a day at the zoo is serious business and quite dangerous. Perhaps warning signs were not taken more seriously. And perhaps the zoo should be completely safe. And zoos are cruel anyway in my opinion. We are one sick society.

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430. Fred

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     Remember that the enclosures are to keep the wild animals in. The fences are designed so that the gawking humans get their money’s worth. The zoo actually exceeded the requirements needed for the enclosure. Our lives are so sterilized that people of all ages forget that there are scarier things out there that can kill us, intentionally or accidentally, that are not human.

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431. Shannyn

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     Please read this link. It was written by a lady who has worked closely with Gorillas & gives great insight into their behaviour. She explains why they didn’t tranqualise the Gorilla & gives an explanation as to what he was doing with the child. https://www.facebook.com/amanda.odonoughue/posts/1203379586363094

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432. Nicol3

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     All I really paid attention to on the video was her saying. God please help! God did exactly that…he had mercy on this little boy and he should have been injured more severely than he was. I thank you father that we can call on your name and you show up! No one is perfect and that applies to parents also. Yes the animal died but we are God’s most prized possession! Who cares about people’s comments! I’m glad she came off social media I pray that God sees to it that no charges are filed. Have mercy on her father, I know she is sorry.

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433. Brian Harvill

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     posted from my comment on Facebook

     “While I can somewhat understand the anger caused by the un-necessary death of this majestic AND INNOCENT animal because of the errors of the parent, I can also understand that this was a tragedy and nothing more. I am willing to bet anything that the parents are as devastated, not just by what MIGHT have been, but because of what happened. Children are a terror and a parent cannot, NOR SHOULD THEY BE, hanging over the child’s shoulder. This was a tragedy and nothing more. My heart and my hopes go with the parents, with the zoo personnel as well as with this majestic creature who did nothing more than be what he was by nature designed to be, act as he was by nature designed to act. I do think that there was other options to have taken but that is hindsight and who is to say what they might have done in that moment with the adrenaline coursing through their veins? Judgement cannot be passed by those who did not face that terrible and winless situation.”

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434. ShondaeY

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     I was initially one of the people that said, “She was just being negligent.” Then God quickly brought to my mind a time when I had made a similar error that did not result in the tragic situation hers did. I want to apologize right now for my judgmental behavior. Mercy and grace are a beautiful thing, and I hope both find you – Mother of said 4 year old boy. You’re not the only one that will have to live with this. One day, he’ll be old enough to know or even remember, and I pray that God is with you both as you battle those emotions. What is, simply is. All the hindsight in the world could not change a thing. Even though we don’t understand why a tranquilizer couldn’t have been used, maybe we’re not considering the panic that arose in the shooter’s mind and Zoo Keeper’s mind at that dreadful moment when you see a precious child and a dangerous, endangered species within inches of each other. It is settled in my heart; IT IS WHAT IT IS, and now it’s over. I know if I had been there, I would have wanted my child’s safety considered first and foremost. And honestly, because the problem has never occurred before, I supposed Zoo Safety was not aware of the possible breach in security? All I know is that my heart is sad for Harambe. My heart is even more so for you and your son. You both have to live with this. Remember that a stranger said your son was worth it! Remember that a stranger said that you were just trying to be a great mom. I’m so thankful that your son is safe, and my prayers will be for your peace and ability to forgive everyone involved (even yourself if necessary) to find it. Many blessings….

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435. Amy

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     There is an article written by a gorilla handler, stating that the reason they didn’t tranquilize was because if they did, It could have caused the gorilla to pass out in the moat and drown or fall on the boy and drown him as well… Apparently killing the poor animal was the best course of action :/

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436. Renee

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     I was in tears that the first response was not about the intense trauma this child felt. I can’t even imagine my 4 year old going through something so frightening that he can’t comprehend. I can’t imagine that one day he’ll see the main theme of comments was not to hold him close and cry with him and console him. Instead they were angry comments about his mom. And he could feel responsible and take that on….like children who blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. It is not his fault and he does not benefit from the rage directed at his mom. The comments were very weighted toward rage at people and love for animals. We should love both and have compassion on both. I used to be one who would point that finger until one day ended up in a tough situation. If I pointed that finger, how can I expect someone else to have mercy on me when I fail? Not one of us is capable of living perfectly, and you will be gravely disappointed in yourself one day when you finally figure that out. But that will hopefully be a freeing day where compassion for humanity is restored. If we waited for people to be perfect before showing love, we will be waiting for eternity.

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437. Tim Wade

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     I do not blame the mother. When I first heard of this terrible incident, I thought “How could this small child possibly get into a zoo exhibit!?” The zoos should be protecting the animals from us as well as us from them.

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438. Tracy L

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     There is a LOT of Monday morning quarterbacking going on this week. I’m particularly blown away by the comments regarding what the zookeepers “shoulda done”. This gorilla was born in captivity and was 17 years old – many of the people involved in his care knew him for 17 YEARS. And yet here people sit, questioning the keepers’ professional and personal knowledge of this animal in particular and the species in general, and talk about what they “should have done”. Don’t you think it broke their hearts to shoot this gorilla, whom they likely adored? Don’t you think if they felt they had any other option that wouldn’t involve further risk to the child, they would have taken it? Don’t you think that their knowledge and training might be a bit better than yours, whose sum total gorilla knowledge comes from maybe visiting the zoo occasionally, and watching animal planet? It’s astounding to me that anyone not directly involve somehow thinks they “know better”.

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439. Lauri Holmes

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     When my older son was around 2 or 3 years old, we always used a “hand-holder” leash. The main reason for his was because, once he learned to walk, he would not let me hold his hand. If I tried, he would buckle his knees and sit down on the ground, wanting me to pick him up. I was a full-time student and almost always had on a heavy backpack as well as full hands. We have always been dependent on buses to get around. One night we were on our way home from getting groceries. I had full bags in each hand and my son on the leash. We were walking from the bus to find my son’s father (a cab driver) to give us a ride home. A woman hung her head out of her car window, cigarette dangling from mouth and yelled, “Why don’t you hold his hand?” I responded with, “Why don’t you offer us a ride?” She sped away.

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440. Lindsay

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     It is really unfortunate that so many people are so cold when it comes to the mother. None of us were there and there was no video released showing the mother being negligent. From what I read, her son